Stress Eating

  • How to Stop Stress Eating and Bingeing in 5 Steps

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    Stress eating and bingeing is pretzel logic.

    When you eat well most of the time, but something stressful happens, and your mind immediately turns to eating, the twists and turns of rationalizing it are short-lived. When stress eating and bingeing take hold of you, the fallout is tinged with guilt, shame, and regret. The big question is, how do you get out of the cycle?

    The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. We feel it in a thousand things.​

    Blaise Pascal

    Stress eating makes sense; it’s just not logical. Human emotions are connected to conscious and unconscious memories, thoughts and perceptions. You have an experience, and your thoughts shape how you describe it. The unconscious memories aren’t language-based but are emotional and give a “felt sense” or vibe about situations. Stress eating is often the fuel for calm at any cost that’s difficult to understand and put into words.

    There’s a clash between what’s conscious (food choices that enhance health) and unconscious emotional stress (stress eating regardless of what you know) that can feel like a compulsion or addiction you’re powerless over.

    Stress eating calms your brain in the short term. 

    For many people, when stressed, eating often turns into a binge. Which ten results in feeling even more out of control. And then there’s even more guilt and shame to stress out about than the original stress that let you stress eating.

    You might spiral from fries and a soda for lunch to cupcakes for an afternoon snack, a fancy coffee, or an energy drink mid-afternoon when the blood sugar crash hits hard and you’re getting sleepy.

    Since you’re already “off the wagon,” the day worsens when you stop by your favorite fast-food place on the way home. You’ve hit the point of no return and it’s just you and food tonight.

    Maybe tomorrow will be better.

    The food coma is approaching fast.

    When you add it all up, the guilt, shame, and disappointment in yourself can be overwhelming. The solution is – once again, to start a new diet to get back in control. This is the pretzel logic that leads right back to more stress eating!

    When guilt, shame, and disappointment lead to counting calories, cutting out food groups, resistance, and feeling good about yourself, it will never happen!

    Dieting doesn’t work that way.

    But does it help you to stop stress eating and bingeing?

    I would guess your answer is no; it just makes trying the same old solution worse without a different outcome.

    You probably find that your feelings for yourself aren’t generous or kind. Sadness and frustration make it challenging to see other options.

    For the people I work with, the feelings after stress eating can be more hurtful than eating the food.

    Stress eating is like putting a band-aid on your car after an accident.

    Even though an accident and care are needed, the band-aid will not fix the problem.

    Counting calories is a way to set boundaries for yourself; no matter how much this solution makes things worse, it’s essential to acknowledge the goal. Boundaries can be helpful and kind when they are thoughtful and lead to better outcomes.

    You want to feel more in control than the food controlling you.

    How much of your day is spent tracking and making decisions about what you can or can’t eat based on the data collected on your phone app?

    You can transform your relationship with food from external control (calorie counting/apps) to internal control (developing a trusting relationship with yourself and your body). Keep reading and I’ll teach you how!

    The battle needs to shift from fighting with food for control to working with your needs and taking good care of yourself.

    Battles are externally driven. The focus is on what you’re doing wrong and how you can wrestle control from the stress of eating and bingeing.

    Taking care of your needs is a fundamental shift in the metaphor. It’s the thing that got you into this situation in the first place. Focusing on food to meet your emotional needs leads to emotional eating.

    When you first stop dieting for control, it can seem like you’ll stop paying attention to your health, or you’ll thoughtlessly eat whatever, whenever, however.

    But that’s not the way a healthy relationship with yourself works. A respectful relationship does not allow hurtful, destructive situations to continue in the name of love. That’s the opposite of health.

    Loving limits develop from your awareness of what you need and support you in mind, body, and heart.

    Transforming your relationship with yourself and food is a permanent fix. It’s one of those situations where you get to a point where it’s impossible not to listen with self-compassion and clarity about your needs anymore. That’s when stress eating and bingeing isn’t a problem anymore.

    Here are five things to do instead of stress eating:

    1. Track your feelings.

    If you’re not ready to let go of tracking, write down what you’ve eaten and feeling instead of tracking calories. This will give you much more helpful information.

    It’s the beginning point of developing a supportive relationship. Knowing what you think about what you’ve eaten and how you feel physically and emotionally after your meal or snack will give you information you can use the next time you think a similar way.

    If you’re not ready to let go of tracking, write down what you’ve eaten and feeling instead of tracking calories. This will give you much more helpful information.

    It’s the beginning point of developing a supportive relationship. Knowing what you think about what you’ve eaten and how you feel physically and emotionally after your meal or snack will give you information you can use the next time you think a similar way.

    2. Stop making judgments.

    A judgmental attitude leads to black-and-white thinking.

    There’s a mini court of law in your head with a conviction and you’re the guilty party. Sentencing is quickly handed out. There is no appeals process.

    The judgment is you’re mistaken, or the food you enjoyed is terrible, and dieting is good. It’s that fundamental. But life is filled with nuance and transforming judgment into curiosity leads to possibilities.

    Curiosity gives you space to think about a situation from all sides, identify how you feel and determine what you need to do for yourself. It takes time and care and you’re more than worth the effort.

    3. Plan your meals instead of leaving it up to whatever!

    When you know what you will eat for each meal, you take the guesswork out of leaving your meals up to chance.

    When you know what you’re having for lunch or dinner, you will feel more in control because you are making choices for yourself – the ultimate control.

    Be sure to eat meals you enjoy and provide the nutrition your body needs to run well.

    I can’t stress this enough: planning meals without some measure of pleasure will lead you to avoid them. Make sure you look forward to your meal by giving yourself a pause in the day to enjoy yourself (even better if you eat with someone interesting).

    4. Make sure you get enough sleep.

    Your body will look for quick energy when you drag through the day because you’re tired.

    Your ability to make clear choices for yourself will be significantly diminished. You’ll find yourself making impulsive decisions you aren’t comfortable with in the long run.

    The urge to count calories and feel back in control may be even stronger, and the cycle starts all over again.

    Rest is essential to feeling good, having the mental and physical energy, and making choices to fuel your life.

    5. Decide what type of relationship you want to have with your body.

    It’s like learning to swim. Eventually, you let go of the wall and trust that you have learned how to tread water in the pool’s deep end.

    You’re a little unsure, so you stay within arm’s reach. As your confidence grows, you move further away from the wall. It gets more accessible, but it’s also tiring.

    You only have so much strength for one day. As you practice, you get stronger and more confident, and before you know it, you’re swimming like a mermaid! 

    This is the same thing that happens when breaking free from stress eating. It’s difficult to trust yourself; as you do, the trust in yourself will grow, and you will find yourself redefining your relationship with food, your body, and yourself.

    In sum, transforming your relationship with yourself is one of the most positive things you can do. You can learn to treat yourself with kindness and self-compassion while setting limits that are a natural extension of a conscious relationship with yourself.

  • 10 Mantras to Unlock Food Obsessions When You’re Really Stressed

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    Sometimes, we all get stuck listening to that little nagging voice that leads to stress eating. Mantras to unlock food obsessions help with the voice that says:

    • lure you into quick relief that stress eating brings
    • distract you from what you need
    • question your wise inner voice
    • doubt your self-knowledge
    • instill a lack of trust in yourself

    The thoughts above often happen when stress or emotional eating is the only go-to stress management option. So, many of my clients believe they need more willpower and discipline. This is the exact thing that causes the most stress!

    Willpower might help in the short term, but what’s stressing you out is that it’s not going away until you get to the heart of the matter and this is when mantras can help.

    What if you change the conversation, you have with yourself, would it help you take care of yourself in a more supportive way?

    Maybe it’s not willpower or forcing yourself to do something that you don’t want to do, but instead, it’s the power of choice that makes the difference. A mantra helps bring more self-compassion and accountability to create sustainable change.

    How to Stop Stress Eating Right Now

    If your goal is to transform how you deal with stress and stress eating, it’s great to have a positive, growth-oriented alternative to counteract your brain’s automatic response to calming stress with eating.

    What’s great about this approach is that when you take a different action, your brain-based habits change, and you create a new “normal.” Even though it takes time and focused attention, you can change your brain anytime. And it usually happens much more quickly than most people think it will.

    A simple mantra is one way to respond to your stressed-out brain that calms stress and gets you into a growth mindset. Mantras that unlock food obsessions can lead you away from stress eating so that you can make clear choices about your needs.

    Mantras are old-fashioned coping skills that’ve been around for so long because they work!

    It’s nearly impossible to separate thoughts, feelings, perceptions, potential future scenarios, etc. When stress eating or emotional eating enters the picture, the feelings are often mixed.

    Finding your way out of a negative thought is easier when you have something you can do with it. And when you transform negative thoughts, they lead you to conscious eating. Being present in the moment, calming your stressed brain with compassion, and gaining clarity to make choices that matter is what makes the difference.

    Using a mantra to help you shift your thoughts is one of the handiest, always-at-the-ready strategies to calm, soothe and refocus your brain where you want it to be.

    The best mantras are those you can easily remember, so you’ll come back to a mantra when you need one without wasting time figuring it out when you’re already stressed.

    Mantras that unlock food obsessions are concise and move you toward what you want.

    Stress eating will never satisfy an unmet need.

    Conscious eating is a dynamic, active process. Being a conscious eater means making choices in the present moment paying attention to your emotional state and your need for nourishment.

    As a more natural-conscious eater, you don’t need to think about willpower! You’ll need fewer and fewer reminders to pay attention and be aware of your motivations to eat. It’s like eating when you were young; it was a natural process. You ate when you were hungry most of the time and stopped when you were full and this happened even if you were eating for pleasure. It wasn’t filled with the ulterior motive to calm stress.

    And, even if your experience was different when you were young, you can always learn to be a conscious eater!

    You may find that your preferences change when you get a chance to slow down and figure out what you need.

    Many clients say they’ve been eating out of habit and not enjoying it.

    You may even find that you use a mantra you like best, which comes back to you naturally as an affirmation of your commitment to yourself and your health.

    Creating a supportive, nourishing relationship will naturally grow your skill set for good and challenging times.

    Why use mantras to unlock food obsessions?

    Conscious eating gives you an alternative to stress eating, emotional eating and dieting. A mantra is one tool to support you in building a kind and compassionate relationship with yourself.

    As you become less stressed, your need for stress eating diminishes. You’ll find that you take a stand for yourself. Most of all, you become the leader in your life and nurture yourself with compassion and accountability.

    Here are ten mantras that unlock food obsessions you can use as they are or as a starting point to create one of your own!

    1. May I achieve my goals with love, kindness, and peace?

    2. May my relationship with my body be grounded in compassion.

    3. I am conscious and compassionate with food, one meal at a time.

    4. May I experience nourishment in my life.

    5. I listen to my mind, body, and heart and receive what I need in my life.

    6. Change requires my time and attention; my reward is contentment.

    7. May I be patient with myself and experience self-compassion.

    8. I’m cultivating a peaceful relationship with my body.

    9. When I move my body, I experience life and grow my awareness.

    10. I nourish my mind, body and heart with a kind and loving heart.

    Changing any habit takes a bit of time and effort. The mind never stops thinking, so when you give it something to do, you control where it goes. Conscious, mindful effort changes your life and leads you to your desired fulfilling lifestyle.

    If you know someone who might benefit from this post, pass it along – share it through email or on social media!

  • How to Focus When You’re Spent and Overwhelmed

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    We all fall into habits we would rather not repeat, but when they leave you feeling spent and overwhelmed, they’re difficult to avoid.

    “Take control of your habits. Take control of your life.”  — Anonymous

    It’s easy – habits are the shortcuts of life.

    In my house, there’s a habit of pulling the clothes out of the dryer and onto the laundry room floor to grab the one thing that’s needed quickly.

    It’s been my responsibility since I started it!

    When I was recovering from cancer treatment and so incredibly tired with two young children, this is what happened most of the time. It was like I treated the space as one big chaotic closet.

    Overwhelming!

    And yet, the bright side was that at least we had clean clothes, if not a little wrinkled!

    Habits help you to know what to expect, even when it’s something you don’t want.

    We do this in all areas of our lives.

    Most of our relationships run on some form of habit. We create patterns that help us predict what’s next, so we’re less stressed with new dynamics.

    I’m sure you’ve experienced those times when you know how your partner or co-worker will react.

    When they do what they usually do, you say to yourself, ‘I kind of thought it would go that way.’

    We do this with ourselves, too – all the time! And it’s a big part of what leads to overwhelm and exhaustion. When the habit is a thought or expectation that things are the way they are, it can quickly lead to feeling overwhelmed.

    Thought habits are also some of the most exhausting habits to change.

    How often have you told yourself you’ll change the habit, and there you are again, like on autopilot, at it?

    Even when you don’t want the habit, it takes less effort and energy to change it to something more helpful.

    Aligned Positive Self Talk Relieves Overwhelm

    When one of my new coaching clients begins their journey to work-life balance, one of their top goals is to be less critical, especially of their selves.

    Most of the time, this shows up in how they speak to themselves.

    Often, what helps the most isn’t simply replacing the negative thought with a positive one. Instead, a recalibration to shift the energy from overwhelm to alignment is what makes a sustainable change.

    It’s also important to acknowledge that there are specific points in the year when we have more to do. Sometimes, being overwhelmed doesn’t start with emotional stress. It begins with the sheer volume of tasks in a short time.

    For parents with school-age children, September and May are typically very busy with many extra commitments as the school year begins and ends. And as always, there’s the holiday season with work, school, social and religious commitments. These months of the year are a little different, but the same focus skill helps prioritize competing needs.

    During the busy months, it’s helpful to go into them with a recalibration plan based on your need for alignment – to live in harmony with your goals and values.

    So, how do you make this happen? Real change happens when you focus on changing how you talk to yourself in your own head.

    Thought Habits Help You Focus

    This is because most of the thoughts are habits.

    They’re locked inside, never spoken, so you don’t have the opportunity to challenge them.

    Here are some examples from real life…

    Take a joint statement: many women say a lot,

    ‘I’m going to be good and pass on dessert.’

    You’ve probably heard this from when you were little, or maybe you even say it now!

    The message becomes ingrained that eating dessert is somehow tied to morality.

    The implication is that you’re a bad person if you eat dessert.

    At best, it says you lack strength and willpower if you indulge.

    Avoiding dessert becomes a habit; be good and don’t eat it. (Does this also make a statement about women who enjoy sensual pleasures? Hmmm…)

    If you break the habit and eat dessert, a cascade of guilt and shame begins — the next default habit – an expectation of judgment and more guilt that reinforces the judgment.

    Changing this habit is possible with an intentional process that cuts through all expectations. When you’re enjoying dessert and focused on non-judgment, you’re building a new perspective. A new habit is born and it replaces the overwhelming habit of food guilt as you focus on the process and repeat the new habit.

    Non-judgmental Focus

    A non-judgmental focus helps to change overwhelming habits with aligned ways of thinking.

    Creating and using alternative statements you have ready helps you focus on what you want – freedom from being overwhelmed. Moving toward what you wish is infinitely easier than pushing back against what you don’t want.

    Here’s an example of what I mean using the dessert example:

    ‘I’m bad if I eat dessert’ becomes –

    ‘Food doesn’t hold moral value, only nutritional value. I can choose to eat dessert or not and am morally the same person no matter my choice.’

    Or it could also be one of these statements,

    ‘I’m experiencing one of the simple pleasures in life!’

    ‘I’m satisfied and not interested in dessert right now.’

    These are just a few statements to get you started. Practicing one of these statements and adding more of your own gives you something to use when needed, so you’re prepared.

    Self Leadership

    Trying to devise supportive alternatives to your habits when you’re overwhelmed is like asking yourself for a magic wand. It’s so far beyond what’s possible that it’s a sure setup for even more overwhelm. But what does help is to practice these statements and add more of your own so you’re ready.

    I know I just said that twice because my experience is that we think we’ll remember, but we don’t!

    Practice makes progress, as my kid’s teachers say!

    I hope that this way of being with yourself becomes so much of a habit supporting your happiness that it becomes automatic.

    After all, the relationship you have with yourself is the one that matters the most. When you align with what you want and need, you can use your felt experience as the information you need to shift your perspective and focus on what matters.

    And, if you’re like most of us, you’ll most likely experience a bit of overwhelm occasionally. The difference is acknowledging it when it’s low so you can more easily identify what you need and move toward it.

    The focus might seem like it’s confining, but what it does is keep you on track, so you receive what you truly want. The snowball effect begins to take hold when you receive what you want. It’s most likely what you need for a fulfilling life as well.

    Conclusion

    My challenge to you is to look at your week and, with compassion in your heart, answer this question:

    ‘What will fill my life with calm and clarity today?’

    Remember, focus is an investment in your future self. It gives you a rich awareness of how to own your life and lead yourself to a life filled with fulfillment and intention.

    I can’t wait for you to experience the peace and fulfillment you desire!

  • How to Cure Stress Eating and Get What You Really Need

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    There’s so much information about how to stop stress eating and emotional eating.

    Every day, my news feed and social platforms tell me about new and improved ways to hack stress eating and emotional eating.

    The advice usually falls into one of these three categories:

    1. Funny, in-your-face, non-diet messages are often delivered by young women who fit the dominant culture’s ideal of beauty. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m happy that the younger generations have a much better viewpoint of diet culture. But decades of stress, dieting and cultural influences take a bit more effort than eating an ice cream while flipping off diet culture.

    2. Information that appears to be new, but it isn’t, is just having a refreshed cover. You can probably guess what I’m talking about! You know, the same diet programs that have been around for a long time or even newer apps that claim not to be a diet. Just because you say you’re not a diet doesn’t mean you aren’t a diet – we see you out there!

    3. Professionals who offer their research evidence that their way is the correct or best way to live. This strikes me as academic competitiveness, which is good; it pushes humanity to find better ways. The problem is that it paints a picture of all or nothing with the researcher or influencer, the hero who has found the golden key that will unlock the secret garden if only we would follow them.

    I’m sure there are many more we could add, but let’s get to what matters.

    The issue is that stress eating isn’t really about the food.

    Food happens to be the focus or device for relief. The reason why people use food for stress relief is that it works – to a point. It happens to be food for a lot of reasons:

    • Habits learned when young
    • Habits formed in college
    • The brain does feel happier and calmer after eating
    • Not knowing what else to do calm the stress
    • Boredom

    Using food is easy, inexpensive and relatively socially acceptable.

    Women bond over both their desire for decadence and the inevitable discussion about diets and workouts. We’re in this struggle together, yet we haven’t realized how to stop it.

    The issue is that stress eating isn’t really about the food.

    Food happens to be the focus or device for relief. The reason why people use food for stress relief is that it works – to a point. It happens to be food for a lot of reasons:

    • Habits learned when young
    • Habits formed in college
    • The brain does feel happier and calmer after eating
    • Not knowing what else to do calm the stress
    • Boredom

    Using food is easy, inexpensive and relatively socially acceptable.

    Women bond over both their desire for decadence and the inevitable discussion about diets and workouts. We’re in this struggle together, yet we haven’t realized how to stop it.

    Getting down to the root of the issue is the only way to break free from stress eating, and that’s an easy solution!

    If we stop the distractions of focusing on the food and focus on what gets us to that point, then we have a real solution.

    The problem is that most of us were never taught how to work with our emotions and calm the anxious brain and body in a way that clarifies what to do next.

    Here’s the outstanding part: this isn’t about digging around in your unconscious to find the “root cause,” and then, when you understand why, you’ll magically stop stress eating.

    I wish it were that easy because I bet you know why you stress eat, but that hasn’t helped to stop it.

    When I started my practice as a psychotherapist and coach, that’s what I thought. We would uncover the source of the pain, and it would be relieved. But, when I began my PhD studies, I learned that emotional eating is stress eating and the pathway to lasting relief is:

    1. Emotional Mastery
    2. Clear Communication
    3. Well-being Habits

    This is the Powerful Calm System and is the foundation for conscious eating, which is a straightforward way to get back to listening to your body, eating in response to hunger, and mindfully enjoying food.

    Emotional Mastery

    Conscious eating is eating with awareness of your body’s needs for fuel and satisfaction.

    It is eating with respectful kindness for yourself, free from judgment. You learn to follow, listen to yourself and use your emotions as your guide.

    It is negotiating between your body and mind, listening to your heart in the present moment.

    Conscious eating is the awareness that the next time you need to eat, you can make new choices in each new moment.

    Conscious eating frees you from deprivation and urgency, which is usually a frantic, anxiety-filled impulse to get what you want now.

    It might be because –

    • it may be gone soon
    • this is the last time you’ll allow yourself to eat it
    • the diet starts tomorrow, so you better have it now!

    Stress eating (emotional eating) can be like this. Sometimes to distract, sometimes to avoid, and sometimes to control unmanageable feelings. No matter its path, it all leads back to stress as the cause.

    Conscious eating frees you to stop for a moment, give yourself time and space to identify your feelings, identify your hunger, and make decisions based on what your mind, body and heart needs.

    Clear Communication

    Conscious eating helps you to connect with the fullness of your life, free from the stress that interferes with your goals.

    You can nourish yourself in the whole meaning of the word nourish.

    The goal is to truly enjoy your relationship with food and your body without guilt, negative self-talk, excuses, or shame.

    Each meal is one moment in time.

    Sometimes, you will eat purely for fuel. You are hungry, busy, and need nutrition to function well.

    You are living your life, and food is one of many essential parts, not the one thing you spend too much time thinking about.

    At other times, you eat for enjoyment and nourishing your body. Clear communication with yourself allows you to freely enjoy food without guilt because the choices you make aren’t a stress reaction, but instead, they are a choice based on what you need for energy and enjoyment. And when that happens, there’s no reason to blame and shame about food or your body.

    Well-being Habits

    Becoming a conscious eater is like getting back to nature.

    You’ll get back to eating naturally, and when stress hits, you no longer reach for food to calm and self-soothe.

    Emotions and food are separate, but sometimes they seem the same.

    It is like when you were little and ate because you were hungry and stopped when you were full. Even when you had something delicious, like your favorite food, you listened to your body and stopped when your body let you know it was complete.

    You can get back to listening to your natural rhythms.

    And, if this was not your experience growing up, you can learn how to become a Conscious Eater who can listen to her body and follow through!

    When you eat this way, you find what is health-enhancing for you. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all when it comes to nourishing your body. The only perfect diet for you is finding what works well for your body today and doing more of it. And when things change, you can adapt because you can listen to your body and adjust as needed.

    Listen to your body.

    There’s a wealth of knowledge about sound, essential nutrition. It is freely available to you and many well-qualified providers who can support you, too.

    Conclusion

    The bottom line is that conscious eating is a simple way to implement the Powerful Calm System, so you no longer need stress eating and emotional eating again!

  • 10 Simple Mantras That Stop Negative Thinking And Stress Eating

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    You know that nagging voice in your head that whispers you need to calm down and stop negative thinking, and before you know it, stress eating hits? 

    It’s the voice that…

    • Doubts that it’s all too much and you won’t ever feel calm.
    • Questions your relationship with yourself and your self-knowledge.
    • Criticizes you and can be downright mean under the veil of being “honest.”

    When you’re struggling with stress eating or emotional eating, the voice of doubt focuses on what’s not going well and dismisses or ignores what is.

    What if you had a way to calm self-doubt and highlight your successes, no matter how small?

    Developing this skill can change the conversation and transform doubt into power. 

    How to Stop Stress Eating Right Now

    When you have an answer ready that you can rely on to shift your focus, calm stress and anxiety and change negative thoughts – you have a skill that will serve you well.

    A simple mantra is a shortcut way to connect with yourself. It calms negative thoughts so you can be mindful and make choices that matter to you.

    A mantra is a coping skill that’s been around so long because it works!

    It’s nearly impossible to separate thoughts, feelings, perceptions, potential future scenarios, etc. When stress eating enters the picture, the feelings are often mixed emotions. Those emotions lead to an essential need for you to stop negative thinking!

    Getting out of confusing, conflicting, or uncomfortable feelings is easier when you have a tool to focus your thoughts compassionately. The other benefit is that intentionally focusing your thoughts increases motivation to stay on your path.

    Using a mantra to help you shift your thoughts is one of the easiest ways to stop stress eating. Stopping negative thinking is one of the most essential strategies to calm, soothe and refocus your brain to prevent stress eating. 

    The best mantra is meaningful to you and easy to remember, so when you need it, you have it ready.

    When a mantra is precise and concise, it just “fits.” And it’s easy to use over and over to bring your stress level back down.

    Mindful living is being aware of what you think and feel and you intend to live the life you want. Stress eating or emotional eating distracts you from it. You can get back in alignment with your needs with this question:

    Are you eating because you’re hungry, enjoying the taste, or distracting yourself from emotional stress?

    Stress eating or emotional eating will never satisfy an unmet need.

    Mindful living is a dynamic, active process. When you slow down and stress lifts, you return to actively choosing your daily eating habits. You’ll grow in your flexibility to change as your needs change.

    You’ll naturally be mindful of eating what you need. 

    What you like might change when you get a chance to slow down and listen to yourself more closely. An effective mantra calms reliably calms and comes back to you naturally, so it’s always there for you.

    Why a mantra to stop negative thinking?

    A mantra becomes a tool that supports you in building a kind and compassionate relationship with yourself. You can take a stand for nurturing yourself with good food and compassion and live mindfully with fulfillment.

    Here are ten mantras you can use or as a starting point to create one of your own!

    > I am living in the moment, one meal at a time.

    > Peace and kindness support my relationship with my body.

    > I feel balanced as I make choices that nourish me.

    > I listen to my mind, body and heart for what I need.

    > Change requires my time and attention; my reward is contentment.

    > I move toward my goals with compassion.

    > I am mindful and compassionate as I develop the tools I need.

    > I’m cultivating a peaceful relationship with my body.

    > When I move my body, I experience life.

    > I nourish my mind, body, and heart with a loving, loving heart.

    Conclusion

    Sometimes, we get caught up in complicated tools or strategies and think they are naturally more compelling. But most of the time, they’re confusing and don’t stop negative thinking or stress eating. Simple, straightforward, and easily used strategies and tools you use daily to live mindfully and fulfill your intentions.

  • How To Be Peaceful With Food In 3 Easy Steps

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    Food peace through self-compassion gives you what you desire – freedom and accountability to be peaceful with food.

    Committing to changing your relationship with food takes a different focus. It’s more connected to what you want while at the same time giving you both grace and limits that are in alignment with your needs.

    Self-compassion is holding yourself accountable without judgment. When you take stock of your relationship with food with neutrality, push yourself when you need to do more and acknowledge your accomplishments when they happen, you’re on the path of food peace.

    To be at peace with food, you need self-compassion most when you…

    • are tired of solutions that have you running in circles.
    • know what you want, to stop emotional eating, but it happened again.
    • question if you even know what you want.
    • adjust your goals to fit what you want - not what “they” want.
    • doubt leads you to question your choices.

    While you adjust to this new form of accountability, you’ll have many opportunities to slip back into self-criticism, skepticism and negative thinking about your state.

    You’ll probably have a chance to practice self-compassion many times a day!

    The good news is that these opportunities push you to become even more transparent and assertive in your resolve to change your relationship with food and your body.

    And, as you practice, you’ll develop habits that support your changes and self-compassion makes it all easier.

    Self-compassion helps you keep your focus on moving forward.

    Being at peace with food through self-compassion reshapes how you work with yourself so you know when to push and ease up.

    You don’t need to look for balance when you have your internal barometer to guide you. You adjust as you develop a refined internal awareness of your emotional states.

    Here are three steps to be at peace with food through self-compassion:

    1. Assess what is enough for you.

    When I ask people this question, what is enough? They usually think in terms of minimums. “Don’t take too much” vs. “Take what you think you need, and you can always have more.”

    Are you in a place with enough love, money, friendship, work challenges and fulfillment, food you enjoy, and movement that feels good?

    If you know there’s more you need in life; the first step is to get specific and identify what it is so you can develop a plan.

    2. Utilize self-compassion and strive for satisfaction.

    Satisfaction isn’t an endpoint. It’s a way of being that is your baseline of contentment.

    Life satisfaction can only come when how you live your life matches up with your values. Satisfaction is part of feeling like you’re doing what you must do. You feel good about your life and yourself.

    If you feel incomplete, like there’s something that you want or need in your life, use self-compassion to encourage you to ask the hard questions of yourself so you get out of the endless cycle of stress eating to fill a void it can’t possibly fill.

    3. Question what you’re moving toward and ensure you want it.

    Is it what you convinced yourself of to meet others’ expectations, or is it what you know in your heart you want?

    Many well-meaning people make suggestions, assuming you’re on the same page. But are you? Just because your friend is on a diet, she might assume that everyone is on the hunt for the perfect way to eat, too. Maybe you are, but your way of getting there is very different.

    Self-compassion is a commitment to yourself to figure out your needs. Figure out what nourishes you in mind, body and heart. Self-compassion keeps you accountable to yourself and at peace with food.

    What does being at peace with food do for you?

    Recognize that if your relationship with food isn’t serving you in the way you had hoped, it can change at any point in your life.

    Being at peace with food transforms your relationship with food. It is dynamic, so tomorrow is closer to where you need to be.

    Keep moving forward no matter what because your relationship with yourself matters most!

    Sometimes, you need to push yourself when you’re scared and unsure if the outcome will be better than your current situation. But, when you’re backing yourself with self-compassion and accountability, you have what you need to take a risk.

    Self-compassion allows you to take care of yourself as you change.

    Pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, no matter how content you are at the moment and stepping into the next best thing in your life is what transforming your relationship with yourself is like.

    Conclusion

    When you say “yes” to yourself, you are already creating the space to be at peace with food. Thoughtfully, mindfully, making decisions from your heart, bit by bit, with self-compassion leading you where you need to be!

  • It’s Not About The Mashed Potatoes

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    It’s not about the mashed potatoes or anything else on this list – it’s about listening to your voice.

    It’s not about the mashed potatoes, pie, rolls, or whatever you enjoy eating.

    It’s not about emotional eating.

    It’s not about stress.

    It’s not about feeling too full.

    It’s not about being hungry.

    It’s not about exercising away the calories.

    It’s not about being wrong.

    It’s not about being unworthy.

    It’s not about your childhood.

    It’s not about your poor choices.

    It’s not about your lack of control.

    It’s not about willpower.

    It’s not about finding the reason why.

    It’s not about wishing and hoping.

    It’s not about waiting to be rescued.

    It’s not about rewriting history.

    It’s not about your successes.

    It’s not about your failures.

    It’s not about any of these things.

    What it’s about is stepping consciously and fully into your life and taking the risk to be different.

    This is why many people don’t choose this path and do the same thing repeatedly because it’s safe.

    The big question is, does staying the same cost you what you want?

    What else is there that matters?

    Life is too short to sacrifice your happiness and strive for goals that aren’t what you want or need. 

    Living in alignment with what you need is the path to fulfillment.

    You can make your life your own by getting inspiration from others and creating something new that fits your life. Follow your path and do what works for you.

    It’s important to be good with yourself since you live with yourself in your head 24/7.

    • What’s it like in there?
    • Is it a place you would welcome others to come in for a visit?
    • Do you want more for yourself?

    You are listening to your voice.

    Focusing on the latest fad diet workout, meditation trend, or the latest stress quick fix can make stress build rather than help to reduce stress. This can take you further away from what you want your life to be. In those times when you find yourself stress eating and unconsciously reaching for another handful of chips, it’s confirmation that stress is in control.

    Sensible advice is often lost when you’re desperate for change. And unable to patiently pay closer attention to what you need for more self-awareness.

    If you allowed yourself to set your intentions and live more mindfully, would you be further along than if you chased the latest fad?

    Listening to your voice takes courage and grit.

    Others in your life might not like it.

    It might mean they must adjust and get used to a more vocal, honest you. Many people will outright disagree that you’re doing what’s right. Others will see you change and try convincing you to follow their advice instead of cultivating your voice.

    You need to stay the course.

    You’re good if your path is healthy, self-compassioned and aligned with your intentions.

    Are there dreams you want to become reality, but you’re scared?

    Think about how you feel after you’ve earned something rather than receiving it as a gift. Usually, people say that their sense of self changes. Every time you learn something new, you add to your self-knowledge. This is a precious gift.

    Therefore, when you take a risk you might find that:

    • Challenges make you stronger.
    • You start believing that you can trust yourself.
    • Listening to your mind, body and heart gives you the necessary information.

    Sometimes, you need good information, but most of the time, you only need to know yourself—an intimate knowledge of how you work free from assumptions, judgments, and someone else’s rules. So, instead, be curious, experiment, and then observe what happens. Do more of what works. That’s the bottom line.

    What if you have the resources to know what you need right at your fingertips?

    What will it take for you to listen to yourself and get started?

    Get started.

    Start making the changes you want to see happen in your life today. It’s all you’ve got in the end.

    Do what you must to be healthier, happier and more connected to what you most want today.

    It’s not really about the food or what you weigh, how you look, how many lines are on your face, or how much cellulite you have or don’t. How much is in your bank account or how much staff do you have working for you? These aren’t markers of your value as a human being.

    The stuff above doesn’t elevate your value and valuing them keeps you locked in a battle you will never win. And yet, often, some people have more than you, and comparing yourself to them, even when you try not to, is difficult.

    Step into the fullness of your life.

    In the end, your life is not about the mashed potatoes.

  • How To Stop Negative Thoughts That Result in Stress Eating

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    I would bet that most people view stress as a negative; for my clients who struggle with stress eating, that’s especially true.

    The human mind has a funny way of making things worse. When you feel that it will be hard to succeed, it usually is. I’ll show how your negative thoughts manifest and give you steps to deal with them to prevent the problem. For food not to be a coping tool, you need to change those thoughts from negative to neutral. Viewing them clearly as they are and looking forward towards your future goals is the answer.

    A negative thought is not the same thing as a negative attitude.

    Most of us have experienced our share of stressful events in our lives. These can be work-related or personal. The stress that comes with these adverse events is often labeled as being negative thoughts, but they are both.

    Your mind can easily conjure up a scary image of what could happen if this or that happens, etc. This picture is in your head and says, “If that’s true, then I’m going to need something to eat.” And that’s what makes it so difficult. It’s a coping mechanism.

    1. How negative thoughts work.

    So how does this work? How does the mind do that? Your mind creates a scenario that could occur if that negative thought were true. Let’s say you have been thinking negatively about being fired from your job. You could create a scenario in which you lose your home, you don’t have much money, and you become homeless. When the thought comes to mind, an image of what could happen appears, and pressure builds.

    Your blood starts to leave your brain. It flows down to the rest of your body like you’re a zombie. But you’re not a zombie. It’s difficult to think clearly because stress is flooding the brain areas associated with stress. This is what it’s like when you are trying to cope with stress by eating – you are not fully present or making choices – it’s an automatic process. Now it’s time for coping mechanism number two: food.

    2. Food is security.

    What’s your mind’s second coping mechanism to cope with stress? It uses food. When you think negatively about being fired from your job, the connection with food leads to a desire for food. You see your mind’s picture of what could happen to you, leading you straight to comfort food. What happens then is that instead of thinking about the future or the present, you’re focused on how much comfort food can fulfill those feelings or needs for security because of all this stress.

    3. Food is a distraction.

    Eating is a coping mechanism to calm and soothe and cope with stress. When people suffer from stress eating, they eat comfort food because it calms them down and takes away the stress. But the problem with eating this way is that it does not resolve the issue of stress any more than rubbing a sore knee does because you still have a sore knee, and only now have you added food to your list. The issue remains.

    Negative thoughts and stress eating solutions.

    So, how do you prevent this from happening to you? Here are some helpful suggestions:

    1. List your stressors.

    Make a list of all your stressors. Once the list is complete, divide them into those within your control and those out of your control. If there are any items on the list that you feel are in your control, write down how you would try to change these things if they were yours to change. Next to each item that’s out of your control, write down what it could be if it were in your control. For example, If the only thing out of your control is the weather, then write down what you can do to prepare for this. But if it’s something else, like your boss is a micro-manager, then list things you can change within your work environment to improve it.

    2. List your negative thoughts.

    Write down the negative thoughts that you have most often. Once these are written down, look at them and ask yourself what they mean. Is there a reason why you’re thinking this? Is it true?

    Think of a time when you faced similar stress and how you dealt with it. This will give you insight into what you’re thinking and why. Write down these things in your journal so that when negative thoughts come to mind, you can look at them and ask yourself, “Is this true?”

    3. Challenge your negative thoughts.

    Finally, don’t let negative thoughts about something outside your control remain unchallenged. A positive way to deal with them is to challenge them and say to yourself, “If it were true, then this would occur.” For example: “If I dropped dead tomorrow, then all my friends would say they will miss me.” When this is genuinely true (and it might not always be), the mind will believe it and do everything possible to ensure it happens.

    Conclusion

    So, remember, negative thoughts are not the same as negative attitudes. One is an attitude; one is a thought. But they are related to each other. So, if you have the attitude, “I’m negative all the time,” that will lead you to think negative thoughts about things that may or may not be accurate. A habit of positive thinking will help you to avoid putting these negative thoughts into your mind, which could lead you to harmful coping behaviors like comfort eating.