Calm

  • 10 Simple Mantras That Stop Negative Thinking And Stress Eating

    10 Simple Mantras That Stop Negative Thinking And Stress Eating

    10 Simple Mantras That Stop Negative Thinking And Stress Eating

    You know that nagging voice your heads that whispers, you need to calm down, stop negative thinking and before you know it, you’re stress eating? 

    It’s the voice that…

    • Doubts that it’s all too much and you won’t ever feel calm.
    • Questions your relationship with yourself and your self-knowledge.
    • Criticizes you and can be downright mean under the veil of being “honest.”

    When you’re struggling stress eating or emotional eating the voice of doubt focuses on what’s not going well and dismisses or ignores what is.

    What if you had a way to calm self-doubt and highlight your successes, no matter how small?

    Developing this skill can change the conversation and transform doubt into powerful 

    How to Stop Stress Eating Right Now

    When you have an answer ready that you can rely on to shift your focus, calm stress and anxiety and change negative thoughts – you have a skill that will serve you well.

    A simple mantra is a shortcut way to connect with yourself. It calms negative thoughts, so that you can be mindful and make choices that matter to you.

    A mantra is a coping skill that’s been around so long because they work!

    It’s nearly impossible to separate thoughts, feelings, perceptions, potential future scenarios, etc. When stress eating enters the picture, the feelings are often a jumble of mixed emotions. Those emotions lead to a big need for you to stop negative thinking!

    Getting out of confusing, conflicting or uncomfortable feelings is easier when you have a tool to compassionately focus your thoughts.  The other benefit is that when you intentionally focus your thoughts, they lead to increased motivation to stay on your path.

    Using a mantra to help you shift your thoughts is one of the easiest ways to stop stress eating. And stopping negative thinking is one of the most important strategies to calm, soothe and refocus your brain to prevent stress eating. 

    The best mantra is one that is meaningful to you and easy to remember, so when you need it, you have it ready.

    When a mantra is precise and concise, it just “fits.” And it’s easy use over and over to bring your stress level back down.

    Mindful living is being aware of what you think, feel and what your intentions are to live the life you want to live. Stress eating or emotional eating, distracts you away from  it.  You can get back in alignment with your needs with this question:

    Are you eating because you’re hungry or you enjoy the taste or are you eating to distract yourself from emotional stress?

    Stress eating or emotional eating will never satisfy an unmet need.

    Mindful living is a dynamic active process. When you slow down and stress lifts you get back to actively choosing your daily eating habits. You’ll grow in your flexibility to change as your needs change.

    You’ll naturally be mindful of eating what you need. 

    What you like might change when you get a chance to slow down and listen to yourself more closely. An effective mantra is one that calms reliably calms and comes back to you naturally, so it’s always there for you.

    Why a mantra to stop negative thinking?

    A mantra becomes a tool which supports you in building a kind and compassionate relationship with yourself. You can take a stand for nurturing yourself with good food, compassion and live mindfully with fulfillment.

    Here are 10 mantras you can use or as a starting point to create one of your own!

    > I am living in the moment, one meal at a time.

    > Peace and kindness support my relationship with my body.

    > I move toward my goals with compassion.

    > I feel balanced as I make choices that nourish me.

    > I listen to my mind, body and heart for what I need in my life.

    > Change requires my time and attention; my reward is contentment.

    > I am mindful and compassionate as I develop the tools I need in my life.

    > I’m cultivating a peaceful relationship with my body.

    > When I move my body, I experience life.

    > I nourish my mind, body and heart with a kind and loving heart.

    Conclusion

    Sometimes we get caught up in complicated tools or strategies and think that they are naturally more effective. But most of the time they’re just confusing and don’t stop negative thinking or stress eating. Simple, clear and easily used strategies and tools, that you use every day are what support you on the path to living mindfully and fulfilling your intentions.

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  • Top 10 Habits To Be More Calm Every Day

    Top 10 Habits to Be More Calm Everyday

    top 10 habits to be more calm every day

    Feeling good comes from experiencing less stress and more calm and the tiniest bit of success at this, as soon as possible helps to stay motivated. When you use these 10 habits to be more calm every day, you life changes!

    Habits that motivate you to keep going and building on each success is like a snowball the magically grows with each new day.

    As you begin the process and start experiencing progress it might be difficult to trust that it will last. Others might not notice your changes, but you know what you’ve accomplished and find valuable because you see it in yourself. The challenge comes when you need to trust that you have your own best interests in your heart and stay on the path of calm and clarity.

    These are the actions that can take you to the path of greater self-awareness as you grow in your relationship with yourself where you know what you want and need and you go after it!

    Here are the top 10 ways to connect with yourself and create a calmer life.

    1. Get Moving - a simple walk around the block can help

    Physical activity is one of the most common recommendations for feeling better - because it works! Countless studies have shown that improved physical and psychological health happens through movement. A simple as a walk around the block helps goes a long way. It shifts your perspective, interrupts negative thoughts and gets your blood flowing.

    2. Talk it out - use your words to give your feelings life

    Talk it out to yourself, a friend, the dog, etc. Sometimes we really just need to hear ourselves out loud. As you hear yourself it’s easier to uncover the thoughts and feelings just under the surface. You get clear on your own internal process, how you view the situation and what you feel. Abstract thoughts become more concrete, so that options about what you can do with them become clear.

    3. Create - creativity helps the mind open up

    The act of creating something, anything, helps you to think differently. Keep supplies on hand, so when you need to create, you have them available. In a pinch, all you really need is a piece of paper and a pencil. Scribble, draw, make patterns, etc. Just get the creativity flowing. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece since that’s not the point anyway. Leave perfectionism out of it. Your goal is to introduce more flexibility into your capacity for problem-solving and creativity helps.

    4. Eat - if you’re hungry you need food!

    Not everyone experiences hunger in the same way. Emotional or stress eating might mask the early stages of hunger. It could be that increased anxiety and irritability are early hunger signs that come before your stomach starts to rumble. Give yourself a minute to check in and see if you need nourishment to refuel. If you do, eat a well-balanced nourishing meal, preferably without looking at a screen while you eat. Enjoy your food and the experience of taking good care of yourself.

    5. Companionship - seek out community

    We are social beings and sometimes we just need to be with others. Spending time with a friend can take your mind off your current worries for a bit. It’s a break that can get you out of your head and the all-consuming thoughts that lead to emotional exhaustion and overwhelm. Your troubles won’t disappear and most things in life aren’t emergencies, it’s okay to give yourself some space and shift your focus for a while.

    Being with others and listening to their challenges will remind you that no one in life escapes difficulties. We’re all in this together and being together helps to shift your mindset from, “No one understands what I’m going through,” to “we’re all more alike than different and we all have struggles.”

    6. Entertainment - do something just for fun

    Escape! Yes, escape into something just for fun.

    • When was the last time you laughed just because something silly happened?
    • Or when was the last time you played a game, just because you like it?
    • When did you watch your favorite movie?

    Push the pause button and allow yourself to let go of seriousness and have a laugh.

    7. Journal - write it out to get it out

    Journaling has a long track record of helpfulness. In fact, it’s one of the time-tested ways of getting to know yourself. You can write it out in note form, bullet journaling with colorful pens and drawings and freewriting is always an option. The point is that writing out how you feel helps you organize your experience, clarify your ideas and stop them from cycling through your thought process without examination. You may even generate ideas and plans that take you where you want to go.

    8. Plan for your needs  and take care of yourself

    Take the time to slow down, stop thinking about the others and put yourself in the equation. What is it that you need right now? What do you think you will need later today? It can be as simple as going to bed earlier, having a cup of tea, paying a bill, making an appointment, getting a new pair of shoes, etc.  Feeling less stressed for having accomplished the task is the goal. Think about your needs and put them on the agenda of, the people you take care of list.

    9. Clearly identify your feelings - know what you’re dealing with

    Sad, Mad, Glad. These all mean different things to different people and I bet you can refine your feelings even more. You can begin by thinking about all of the feelings surrounding the first one that pops into your head. Sad can be broken-down further to include, disappointed, regretful, grieving, gutted, isolated, lonely, etc. The feelings you name give you more information about what you need to feel better. They give you direction.

    10. Take some quiet time - take some time out for yourself

    Allow yourself quiet time to sit through the distractions. Take some time to sit and be still. It will take practice. Turn off the distractions. Allow yourself to experience just nothing. Start off small and take your time. Experience what it’s like for 3 minutes, then try 6 minutes, then 9 minutes. Some days will be easy and some days will be next to impossible to quiet yourself and that’s okay.

    This list is just a beginning to help you get started. There are many supportive and nurturing ways to care for yourself.

    Life will happen and it will often interrupt your calm vibe!

    Conclusion

    Establishing these habits now helps to have what you need in place when stress flares up, so you’re calm every day!

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  • 5 Easy Tools to Clear Blocked Motivation in 5 Minutes

    How often do you feel like can’t clear blocked motivation, so you can stay on track and focused on your goals?

    5 tools to clear blocked motivation

    Sometimes a little break is just what you need to refocus and recommit to your goal, so you can clear blocked motivation.

    Asking yourself questions that lead to either affirmation or shifting of your goals is one important part of the growth process. Assessing what works or what doesn’t and then change it up so you’re closer to your goal is a nice, neat process, but there is a flipside…

    When overwhelm creeps in and your enthusiasm wanes, it can lead to apathy, decision fatigue and hopelessness.

    The cycle of feeling down and hopeless robs you of the mojo to keep moving.

    Regaining your enthusiasm is an intentional process.

    It may seem like waiting for inspiration is your only option, but in the end, waiting will only get you further away from your goal. Taking small, manageable steps, step by step, on a regular basis gets you where you want to be much sooner than you imagine.

    Fortunately, you have options to begin the process!

    You can move out of a state of apathy, doubt or overwhelm and learn to prevent it from happening again too.

    You can clear blocked motivation!

    With these 5 motivation tools and just 5 minutes each day, you can get back into the flow of success, focus your goal and welcome the good things that come your way.

    Here’s the plan:

    1. Choose one tool and practice it for 5 minutes or more if it’s working.
    2. Adapt the 5 motivation tools so they work best for you.

    Before you know it, blocked motivation will be a thing of the past.

    5 Tools to Clear Blocked Motivation

    1. Do just one thing at a time.

    Focus on just one part of your goal. Often, we get so overwhelmed with the larger goal that we have difficulty seeing the small steps right in front of us. Think about the spokes on the wheel of a bike tire.  All are needed to make the wheel strong and stable; each small action is a like the spokes on the bike wheel, all are necessary to support the larger goal. Focus on one spoke at a time.

    Celebrate when one part of your goal is accomplished and use this success to fuel your motivation for the next one.

    2. Get moving.

    To get the energy flowing there is no end to the helpfulness a walk in the sunshine brings. The type of walk I am talking about is one where you are able to just be, look at the clouds, watch the birds, feel the sunshine on your face, allow yourself to be in the present moment. The walk can be as short one; 5 minutes is good.

    No need to get your workout gear on for a power-walk this is a ‘get re-centered walk’ to reconnect with your sense of self and what you are working on and clear blocked motivation.

    Think about each step moving you forward, step by step toward your goal.

    3. Open yourself to growth

    When people feel doubtful, fearful, anxious, they often constrict the body, thoughts and beliefs in what is possible. Collapsing into your body and getting smaller can result in shallow breathing.

    Take 3 deep breaths, comfortably, not too fast and not too slowly, can loosen tension and bring a sense of expansion back. You can feel your body fill with oxygen, feel your breath bringing new life into your being. 

    With each breath think about expansion and give yourself space to do what you need to do for your life.

    4. Visualize your life as you need it to be.

    It is common to think of goals as wishes and they are. More importantly though, goals are also needs. When you think about your goal from the mindset of a need rather than a wish, it changes. Now it is something closer, more intimate. Rather than a wish that can be dismissed, it calls your attention to take action so you can clear blocked motivation.

    To live a fulfilling life, you need meaning and purpose in your life.

    5. Just let it go and be.

    Give yourself time, no more than 5 minutes, to write down all of your negative, worrisome, difficult, boring, doubtful, and fearful thoughts. Then put them in a bag and seal it up! Let them be. They are just words; some will be yours and some will be others. Remember, they are just words. Your truth is much bigger much more life giving than any doubts.

    Now give yourself 5 minutes or more and write down all of your supportive, productive, growth-enhancing thoughts and words. Keep these with you and remind yourself of them every day. Filling your mind with these words helps to keep you adaptable and focused on growth.

    Conclusion

    Give yourself the time and energy to get un-blocked and back to growth with the tools above.

    The greatest gift to yourself is your time and attention.

    Becoming more conscious day by day will fuel your motivation to achieve your goals. 

    You can have the success you desire and the life you need.  

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    It's your magic wand for stress!

  • 3 Foolproof Ways to Breakout of Decision Fatigue

    Recently I had lunch with a friend at a new sandwich place and it was just the type of place I love and the sort of place where decision fatigue sets in.

    They offered familiar sandwiches and salads with just a bit of a twist that made them interesting. It was busy and there was a big variety of choices. We had to let several regulars order before us because neither one of us could make a quick decision.

    We finally got our lunch after about a 30-minute wait.  There were so many phone orders ahead of us in addition to the full tables. The conversation turned to both the delicious sandwiches and our decision fatigue.

    We were both in the midst of last minute get away plans, not so much an adventurous vacation given we would be doing the same thing, but in a different location – just the realities of pandemic life!

    And that lead to us talking about all of the other decisions we make every day. From what to wear, to when to go to the grocery store or place a delivery order, to what’s the topic for the next blog, to giving permission or not for the kid’s sleep-over, to considering charitable giving before the end of the year and on and on. There were a bunch more we identified in the span of about 3 minutes.

    We both were at the point of emotional exhaustion listing them, let alone living it.

    Decision Fatigue

    Decision Fatigue happens when we make too many decisions in one day – or even in one hour – and we feel mentally drained by the process. Sometimes it can make prioritizing tasks, thinking through problems, remembering details and controlling impulses more difficult since the volume of choices made puts a strain on the brain.

    Women on a daily basis, more often than men find themselves in the position of not only making decisions for their own needs, but also those of for their families, business and other community commitments such as getting together with friends and family, volunteering, church, major household purchases, etc.

    It’s not that women find it harder to make decisions, but rather women make more decisions. In addition, the decisions we make usually have an immediate impact on our lives and those around us as well. Those two factors, volume and speed are a big contributor to decision fatigue.

    Here are 3 foolproof ways to ease the burden of decision making, so you can breakout of decision fatigue.

    1. Prioritize Tasks

    One of the best ways to relieve decision fatigue is by making a list of the tasks that need to be completed – both big and small – and then deciding which of them – big or small – need to be done first.

    Here’s an example:

    I often make a “master list” of things to do. This could be a DIY home project or even a fun activity like holiday decorating.

    I remind myself that the list will be big, but it’s okay since I’ll break it down.

    Then next step is to break the “master list” down into bite size chunks that I complete in a shorter amount of time.

    When I get things down on paper or in a document the details aren’t swimming around in my head anymore. I’ve done the task “brain dump” and can look at it more objectively from an action taking standpoint. This includes  the logical steps to completion and what can I realistically accomplish in the time I have.

    The last part about realistically accomplish, is very important since it’s both practical and a self-compassion practice at the same time. Biting off more than you can chew often leads to overwhelm which leads to decision fatigue, so take smaller bits and you’ll be more comfortable and make progress too.

    2. Consider What’s Really Needed

    Another great way to relieve the burden of decision fatigue is to think about what’s really needed.

    When decisions are many there’s a tendency to speed up the process and that’s the fast track to decision fatigue. The faster you make decisions the faster your tension will be relieved, at least that’s the hope. But this perspective only considers short term stress. I’m guessing what you want is longer term relief too.

    Here are 3 questions that can help you take a moment to make a better decision:

    1. Is this an immediate need?
    2. Is it “nice to do” or it “needs to be done” right now?
    3. Do I need or want help with this decision?

    These 3 simple questions can help you increase your awareness of your needs, the needs of the situation and ultimately leads to more thoughtful decision making.

    3. Reacting vs. Responding

    So much of the time we react without thinking and this is a big contributor to decision fatigue. Step 1 – prioritizing and Step 2 – focusing on needs both help to slow down that process so you can mindfully choose how you want to respond to what’s being asked of you. This shifts the dynamic.

    You get out of the rapid-fire making decision and into a comfortable way of being. When you know what you need (your family too) there just aren’t as many decisions as possible to make.

    It’s like you don’t need to  consider choices because you already know the answer before the question is asked. This is a major shift from reacting to thoughtfully responding and that’s what being in alignment is all about.

    Conclusion

    When you move out of what Jon Kabat-Zinn calls, human doing and into human being, it’s a place where day to day decisions no longer seem stressful. The you have a reservoir of calm and well-being you can draw on when your stress level rises and you start do feel the emotional exhaustion of decision fatigue. Your confidence increases as you clearly know what’s in your best interests respond in kind.

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  • How To Create A Reservoir of Inner Calm

    5 steps to create a reservoir of inner calm

    5 easy steps to create a reservoir of inner calm

    This article gives you five strategies on how to create a reservoir of inner calm which you can draw from when stressful situations arise. Since we can’t control when stress spikes, we can plan what to do when it does so when your patience is in short supply, you know just what to do.

    How many situations that test your level of patience in a day? If you are like most people, you have likely lost count, but this article will teach you how to ride out the calm in the eye of the storm.

    The secret to staying calm when you are in a state of stress is to hold your immediate reaction, even if it’s for a brief moment to regroup. The secret here is to rehearse. Your brain will do what it can to protect you by either fleeing, fighting or freezing, as if the treat is a mortal one. But that’s not what we’re talking about right now.

    Everyday stress like, traffic, work deadlines, your child can’t find the charger to his Chromebook and you needed to leave for school – ten minutes ago – we all have countless examples! Times of everyday stress are when you can safely hold your immediate reaction, so you can thoughtfully choose your response.

    Reservoir of inner calm

    All you need to do is start to build a reservoir of calm and use it as needed. It doesn’t need to be filled before you start. If that was the case it would never happen because the everyday stressors do not stop for anyone.

    There isn’t a finite supply inner calm. In fact, you’ll keep adding to your reserves as you grow in your ability to create space between you and the effects of stress.

    Here are five ways you can increase your reservoir of inner calm.

    1. Increase your emotional mastery

    Emotional mastery is the ability to identify what you’re feeling, what happens when you feel it and then take action, so the emotion moves through you instead of getting stuck.

    The practice of emotional mastery is what builds resilience. It’s your guide for what you need to feel better. It takes the work of thinking about it and strategizing your plan. You already know what helps you and you can do it right away and the byproduct is inner calm.

    2. Begin a daily mindful practice

    Being present with the world around you is grounding. It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day activities of life and lose yourself. For many of my clients, this is what prevents them from moving forward and reaching their goals.

    When you are feeling alone and out of control, it is important that you take time out of your day to meditate, be quiet and disconnect from “doing.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) has often said that we are more like human doings than human beings.

    A daily mindfulness practice can be as individual as you are. It might be sitting quietly for five minutes or an hour or something in between. Or it might be walking and practicing your awareness of the birds, the sunlight on the tree leaves or the breeze on your cheek. It could also be doing something where you lose yourself in the process, like in a creative practice – drawing, painting, quilting, knitting, etc. The point is to disconnect from information coming into your being and connect with your internal sense of yourself.

    3. Challenge negative thinking

    Everyone has negative thoughts that creep into their head throughout the day, but it is how you deal with them that matters. When you feel yourself moving down the road of negativity, it is time to take a step back and identify the emotion that sparked those thoughts.

    By challenging negative thinking, you will begin to use the thoughts to help you shift your perspective. Even if you’ve felt this way for a long time, it is possible to regain your inner calm and peace.

    4. Limit negative influences

    “You are a product of your environment,” is a common saying for a reason! It is important to surround yourself with people and in environments that encourage growth and positive thinking.

    When you cut out the negative influences from your life, you will feel a sense of freedom and weight lifted. By choosing to eliminate those who drag you down, you will be able to open up new avenues for personal growth.

    One very important aspect of this is to also ensure, as much as you can that your environment is calming. Home is a place of respite, but not always. Clearing your space (home, car, purse, office, garage, etc.) of clutter is very important. A fancy car is nice, but a clean car you feel good in is great. Same idea with your house, it’s wonderful if you have the resources to live in a picture-perfect space, but most of us don’t. Living in a house free from clutter and disorganization – helps to keep your reservoir of inner calm full!

    5. Remove yourself from the situation

    It can be easy to get caught up in stressful situations that seem impossible to escape. Not getting caught up, means establishing a boundary between yourself and the situation.

    It can be frustrating when you are removed from a situation that you are trying to change. But there are times when it is more beneficial for you to take a break or even realize that you’ve done all you can and you may need to make a different choice.

    Conclusion

    The goal of this article is to provide you with five helpful strategies to fill your reservoir of inner calm. You can experience less stress in your life so you have more time and energy for what you really want! Really, isn’t that a big part of clearing stress, to live a mindful and fulfilling life?

    Get your FREE Copy

    5 Minutes to Calm & Clarity Guide

    It's your magic wand for stress!