Being strong, calm and clear are three ingredients anyone needs when they’re in the middle of challenging times.
Hectic schedules, long work hours, health problems and the fast paced changes aren’t easy to handle. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are the keys to being strong, calm and clear:
1. Breathe!
Taking a few minutes out of every day to just breathe can change your perspective on everything around you. It puts distance between the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that may be distracting you from focusing on what’s truly important.
It delivers more oxygen to your brain that lowers stress and increases calming neurotransmitters for more clarity.
2. Change your environment.
This is a big one. When you’re around people you don’t want to be, a change is needed.
If your physical environment is stressful with too much clutter or noise, it can increase anxiety. Even at a low level they distract you from what you need to do.
Think about what you need to create the positive environment for yourself. Ask yourself, if this helping me or stopping me from doing what I need to do for my well-being?
3. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Realize that others may not understand your life as well as you do.
Maybe, you need time and space to understand your life too?
The first part of being calm is to understand what’s going on within yourself. Sometimes we take our first impressions and the only impression.
Take for instance a feeling. When someone doesn’t hold the door open for you might be irritated at first. You might quickly think that it’s rude and the person is a jerk. Which might be true, but often we don’t have the opportunity to find out.
When you find your feelings linger and you wonder why you can’t shake an insignificant situation, it’s probably something else, like feeling invisible, disrespected, unimportant or any number of other feelings that need care.
Understanding yourself is an act of self-compassion. Which leads more calm and clarity and knowing what you need in your life.
4. Being strong comes from self-knowledge
Each and every one of us has a reason to be here and a purpose. Seek that purpose.
You may not see the story line that made you who you are yet, trust it’s there and hang on to what you do know. Your life is unfolding in ways no one can predict.
As you go through life, it may not be what you expected it to be. If you followed the plan. Go to school, create a good career, find the right partner, have the kids or not and then you’ll have the life you dreamed of. But when it doesn’t turn out that way it, is when many people begin to doubt that they’re on the “right” path. I don’t think there’s a right path, just the one you’re on.
Each path has lots of options and you can change your direction to a path that feels more in alignment with what you need. Sometimes it takes some exploring to find out which path that it. Take each day as it comes, make wise decisions and in the end, you’ll get to where you need to be.
5. Build a reservoir of calm
Strength comes from building your reserves of calm and clarity.
When you know where you end and the other begins it’s easier to not let the emotions of others upset you. Emotional boundaries aren’t about being unfeeling or lacking empathy, it’s about respecting yourself and others that you each have your own experiences.
Your self-knowledge along with the well-being habits are skills you can learn to keep stress low and reservoir of calm full.
6. If something is bothering you, deal with it then and there.
Don’t put it off for tomorrow. If you let the sun set on the problems that you have today because they will only create more mind-clutter.
Ask yourself 3 things:
- How am I feeling?
- What do I need?
- Which action do I need to take?
Sometimes your answers might be, “I don’t know,” and that’s completely okay. You might need to give it a few minutes and allow yourself some space to get clear.
The idea is to not let it linger and avoid dealing with something that needs your attention.
7. Clear communication with yourself and others takes time
Use it. Don’t talk yourself out of your ideas or accept less than what you need. Don’t settle for less than what you are for the sake of convenience.
Being heard and understood will help you to keep growing in your relationships – with yourself and others.
8. Choose your words wisely and be sincere even when you’re wrong.
Don’t try to manipulate yourself or others with your words by saying something different from what is in your heart.
When you’re clear it’s easier to speak how you would like to be spoken to, with compassion, sincerity and integrity.
Remember, personal integrity is a gift you can give yourself every day.
9. Know what’s most important to you and cherish and protect it.
No one knows exactly what will happen; don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands.
Be responsible for your own feelings and trust that others can choose to be responsible for their feelings as well.
You job is to take care of your well-being.
10. The simple things matter.
A smile, a compliment or a walk through the woods can give you the energy you need to find inner clarity and inspiration. It’s the simple things that sprinkle the day with positive feelings and bathes your brain in feel good neurochemicals.
It’s important to take a step back and savor those moments. They are the antidote to negativity and false positives.
Conclusion
Being strong, feeling calm and having clarity are all possible.
When life feels overwhelming and your mind is cluttered with all the things you need to do, people you need to take care of and situations that need your attention it can seem impossible.
There isn’t a magic wand, but there is one thing that makes a difference – it’s your relationship with yourself.
When self-compassion becomes a priority in your life, it leads the way to more calm, clarity and makes you strong!
