Being strong, calm and clear are three ingredients anyone needs when they’re in the middle of challenging times.
Hectic schedules, long work hours, health problems and fast-paced changes aren’t easy to handle. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are the keys to being strong, calm and clear:
1. Breathe!
Taking a few minutes out of every day to breathe can change your perspective on everything around you. It puts distance between the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that may be distracting you from focusing on what’s truly important.
It delivers more oxygen to your brain, lowers stress, and increases calming neurotransmitters for clarity.
2. Change your environment.
This is a big one. A change is needed when you’re around people you don’t want to be with.
Too much clutter or noise can increase anxiety if your physical environment is stressful. Even at a low level, they distract you from what you need to do.
Think about what you need to create a positive environment for yourself. Ask yourself if this is helping me or stopping me from doing what I need to do for my well-being.
3. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Realize that others may not understand your life as well as you do.
Maybe you need time and space to understand your life, too.
The first part of being calm is to understand what’s going on within yourself. Sometimes we take our first impressions as the only impression.
Take, for instance, a feeling. You might initially be irritated when someone doesn’t hold the door open. You might quickly think it’s rude and the person is a jerk. This might be true, but often we don’t have the opportunity to find out.
When your feelings linger and you wonder why you can’t shake an insignificant situation, it’s probably something else, like feeling invisible, disrespected, unimportant, or any other feelings that need care.
Understanding yourself is an act of self-compassion. This leads to more calm and clarity and knowing what you need.
4. Being strong comes from self-knowledge
Every one of us has a reason to be here and a purpose. Seek that purpose.
You may not see the storyline that made you who you are, but trust it and hang on to what you know. Your life is unfolding in ways no one can predict.
As you go through life, it may not be what you expected if you followed the plan. Go to school, create a promising career, find the right partner, have the kids or not and then you’ll have the life you dreamed of. But when it doesn’t turn out that way, many people doubt they’re on the “right” path. I don’t think there’s a right path, just your one.
Each path has many options, and you can change your direction to a path that feels more aligned with what you need. Sometimes, it takes some exploring to find out which path it is. Take each day as it comes, make wise decisions and in the end, you’ll get to where you need to be.
5. Build a reservoir of calm
Strength comes from building your reserves of calm and clarity.
When you know where you end and the other begins it’s easier not to let the emotions of others upset you. Emotional boundaries aren’t about being unfeeling or lacking empathy; they’re about respecting yourself and others so that you each have your own experiences.
Your self-knowledge and well-being habits are skills you can learn to keep stress low and reservoir of calm.
6. If something is bothering you, deal with it then and there.
Don’t put it off for tomorrow. If you let the sun set on the problems that you have today, they will only create more mind-clutter.
Ask yourself three things:
- How am I feeling?
- What do I need?
- Which action do I need to take?
Sometimes, your answer might be, “I don’t know,” and that’s completely okay. You might need to give it a few minutes and allow some space to get clear.
The idea is not to let it linger and avoid dealing with something that needs your attention.
7. Clear communication with yourself and others takes time
Use it. Don’t talk yourself out of your ideas or accept less than what you need. Don’t settle for less than what you are for convenience.
Being heard and understood will help you to keep growing in your relationships – with yourself and others.
8. Choose your words wisely and be sincere even when wrong.
Don’t try to manipulate yourself or others with your words by saying something different from what is in your heart.
When you’re clear, it’s easier to speak how you would like to be spoken to, with compassion, sincerity, and integrity.
Remember, personal integrity is a gift you can give yourself every day.
9. Know what’s most important to you and cherish and protect it.
No one knows exactly what will happen; don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands.
Be responsible for your feelings and trust that others can also choose to be responsible for their feelings.
Your job is to take care of your well-being.
10. The simple things matter.
A smile, a compliment, or a walk through the woods can give you the energy you need to find inner clarity and inspiration. The simple things sprinkle the day with positive feelings and bathe your brain in feel-good neurochemicals.
It’s essential to take a step back and savor those moments. They are the antidote to negativity and false positives.
Conclusion
Being strong, feeling calm and having clarity are all possible.
When life feels overwhelming and your mind is cluttered with everything you need to do, people you need to take care of, and situations that need your attention, it can seem impossible.
There isn’t a magic wand, but one thing makes a difference – it’s your relationship with yourself.
When self-compassion becomes a priority in your life, it leads to more calm and clarity and strengthens you!