Month: May 2023

  • Silk: The Simple Tool to Overcome Stress Eating

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    blog title graphic pink modern flower on a beige background that says silk: the simple tool to overcome stress eating powerfulcalm.com

    Conscious Eating is one of the fastest ways to overcome stress eating.

    Conscious Eating gives you the skills to transform your relationship with food and eating so you’re in control.

    When you learn emotional mastery tools, they’re transferable to many challenges in life, not only to overcome stress eating.

    Conscious Eating isn’t a diet. It’s being present and intentional about what you eat, how your body feels and what your mind needs for satisfaction.

    As you make choices for long-term shifts in how you relate to yourself and your body, you’ll also learn to be more patient and compassionate.

    Remember that this is a mindset-transformational shift in your relationship with yourself.

    It’s big and we’ll take it one step at a time.

    Mindset is how you think about things, or your ‘frame of mind’ and how your thoughts shape your actions. It’s more than simply differentiating between a pessimistic (glass half empty) or optimistic (glass half full) point of view.

    Conscious Eating is a mindset change toward mindful growth in thinking, feeling, and relating to yourself.

    This isn’t a ‘think differently and your behavior will change’ approach to stress eating.

    It is working with yourself toward a goal, value, or belief—whatever word fits best for you—and knowing that you can create what you need to achieve your goal and live in harmony with your values.

    A mindset shift considers your entire experience as a person making change, mind, body and heart so you can overcome stress eating for good!

    Becoming a Conscious Eater is learning to reshape how you care for yourself.

    Conscious Eating is forward-thinking and growth-enhancing. You are learning to do things differently. Learn how to stop, listen, identify, and live with compassion and kindness!

    The most time-consuming part of change is when you’re preparing to make a change but are not quite ready yet.

    Small changes, bit by bit, adjusting to the newness, and continuing to move forward are effective. You are being mindful of what’s working and what’s not and then making adjustments. Use the experience, both good and challenging, to help you know which way to go.

    When you can use your time to learn about what you want, it is worth investing your time and energy.

    The good news is that when you stop, identify your needs, and listen to yourself with kindness and compassion, you are much further along in overcoming stress, eating for good.

    4 Conscious Eating skills to overcome stress eating.

    SILK is an easy way to remember this process: Stop, Identify, Listen, and do all this with kindness in your heart. Here’s the framework for it to happen –

    SILK – Stop

    Being consumed with food, telling yourself that you will be ‘good’ or ‘healthy’ or you’ll eat clean, only takes you further away from your goal. It puts so much responsibility into manipulating food that it’s challenging to focus on your goals and values.

    This surface-level attention keeps the focus on food rather than your relationship with it. It’s manipulating the food to have a better relationship with yourself.

    This feeds the problem.

    The way out is to risk shifting your focus to your relationship with yourself and away from the food.

    When you stop, you give yourself the space to consider other options when you overcome stress eating.

    The opportunity you open yourself to is growth. This is where a shift in mindset takes hold for your well-being – when you give yourself time and space to make conscious choices.

    Are the food rules you live with something like this; ‘I can’t eat ______, ______is bad, ______ leads to ______ health issue, etc.?

    Have you repeated some version of this statement to yourself so often that you accept it as fact? If you eat one of the forbidden foods, do you experience shame and guilt?

    Your challenge is to ask yourself if you are physically hungry and if so, what is my body asking me for right now?

    The next question to ask yourself is – what do I emotionally need right now?

    It may be that you don’t need food at all. You may need sleep, rest, friendship, love, space, quiet, movement, etc.

    And finally, ask yourself what you need for your mind, body, and heart to feel content.

    You might not be very confident in your answers at the beginning. That’s OK!

    Remember, this is moving away from someone else’s ideals and toward your self-knowledge for your unique relationship with yourself.

    SILK – Identify

    One of the first questions I ask the people I work with is your needs. I would guess that 99 percent of the time, they know that I’m not asking about food and shelter or even to change their body or behaviors in some way.

    I know this because, more often than not, they will look me in the eye and tears will well up with the knowledge that something is missing.

    A deep longing for growth has stalled in the quest for a different body as if that’s a guarantee of happiness.

    When you stop, take a breath, and allow yourself to look at your life and know that it’s not totally about your body, you have a realistic opportunity to overcome stress eating.

    One of the most convenient times to do this is while eating.

    Do only one thing while eating.

    It is tough to stress eating if eating is your only mindless activity.

    Practice being in the present moment and notice where your mind leads you.

    Sitting with yourself while eating takes practice, especially when Eating is your way of escaping discomfort.

    If you’re reading a book, watching TV, or working, it is nearly impossible to feel your emotions, hunger or fullness cues, or identify what you truly need.

    Your attention is soaked up by the action in the story or the problem being solved.

    You’re not in the present; you’re on autopilot.

    As you become more comfortable identifying what you need, you will also get clear on which foods you enjoy, how your body responds and what works best for you.

    SILK – Listen

    Growth requires intentional change and the way to get there is to increase your awareness of your negative self-talk and the thoughts and feelings you experience; outwardly silent, yet inwardly booming, crashing like a giant wave on your hope, motivation, and faith in yourself.

    This means leaving negative self-talk, criticism and blame out of the equation.

    The fight is over, a truce is called and the peace talks are happening.

    The peace process is a little more complicated and takes more patience and you can do it.

    Little by little, with consistent intention toward growth, negative thinking eases up, allowing room for growth.

    Remember, this is a shift in the way you live your life. It is worth the effort to overcome stress eating.

    We live in a time where our bodies are fair game for judgment, objectification, shaming and attempts to live up to someone else’s expectations.

    You may be waiting for whatever obstacle—real or imagined—to disappear. Removing the obstacle means acknowledging it and building a strategy that works for your life.

    Ask yourself –

    • do I want to participate in this type of conversation with myself?
    • What might I hear instead of all the negativity if I’m listening with my core values?

    A growth mindset is assessing what needs to change, working toward the goal and making prudent adjustments.

    Listening means moving away from controlling and toward acceptance.

    Sometimes acceptance is confused with: ‘This is who you are; it’s not going to change, so just get over it.’ I’m glad that this is wrong in this context!

    Acceptance is looking and listening so that your relationship with yourself can grow – mind, body and heart!

    If you desire change, it is possible through healing, respect and kindness.

    Accepting who you are today frees you to use the energy spent criticizing yourself more flexibly.

    Listen for all the good you can do and all the happiness you can experience.

    SILK – Kindness

    Looking clearly, listening honestly, and stopping to pay attention all give perspective and motivation so that you can make adjustments and keep growing.

    Conscious Eating is about curiosity, flexibility, and a willingness to make mistakes so you can grow from them.

    Popular diet and eating plans are overwhelmingly all about the quick fix and won’t help you overcome stress eating.

    They require you to abandon values and good judgment about your nutrition and focus exclusively on changing your body.

    The assumption is that a different body is the key to happiness in your life.

    This devalues your humanity.

    Dieting is not about health; it is about an illusion of control. An illusion that you’ll have the life you want if you follow the diet. If it worked, it would work!

    You can shut off your feelings and ignore them for only so long. They’ll overflow and come rushing back with the onslaught of stress eating and feeling poorly about yourself.

    The truth is that Conscious Eating is about learning life-long skills for your health.

    Many of the skills will help in other areas as well. SILK enables you to use your self-knowledge to live a happy and fulfilling life.

    The big picture view of your life.

    Kindness and compassion provide an excellent foundation for living your life in harmony.

    Mistakes allow you to make more informed choices the next time, so you can overcome stress eating.

    When you become a Conscious Eater, you can trust your decisions because they are grounded in your self-knowledge and values.

    The choice is freely made.

    Remember, SILK: Stop, Identify, Listen, and Kindness. The path will always lead you back to you!

  • Tips for a Great Quality of Life

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    Learn what you need for a great quality of life in mind, body and heart.

    How do you know if you have a good quality of life?

    What exactly does quality of life mean anyway?

    Does quality of life mean you experience more happiness than disappointment, or is there more to it than that?

    Many fields study quality of life, including psychology, personal development, business, and health and wellness. The term varies depending on the context in which it is used. This is why there is no single agreed-upon definition of quality of life.

    The World Health Organization (WHO) definition of quality of life is: “an individual’s perception of their position in life in the context of the culture and value systems in which they live and in relation to their goals, expectations, standards, and concerns” (who.int, n.d.). Since the WHO’s definition is used in many public and global health research studies, it’s an important benchmark. Essentially, the WHO’s definition states that quality of life is a subjective measure of an individual’s well-being. This point is debated – some researchers state that quality of life must involve objective and subjective measures.

    This article focuses on how the quality of life is relevant to you and your well-being.

    Tips for Improving Your Quality of Life

    To improve your quality of life, it’s helpful to look at the different areas of life and focus on where there is the most room for improvement. As a starting point, you can begin by focusing on the six domains the WHO includes in its definition – Physical, Psychological, Level of independence, Social Relationships, Environment, and Spirituality/religion/personal beliefs.

    Which domain catches your attention? Is this the area you want to improve for an excellent quality of life, or do you feel confident and satisfied? Don’t worry too much about the names of the domains. What’s important is to take a step back and neutrally assess each one.

    Below are some examples and questions based on some of the WHO’s domains directly related to your relationship with yourself – physical, psychological, social, and spiritual. I hope these questions get you thinking about how you would like to enhance your quality of life.

    Physical

    This domain considers health, illness, physical limitations, and possibilities for improving your relationship with your body.

    • Does your physical health add to or detract from your quality of life?
    • Do your food choices affect your mood and energy levels?
    • How satisfied are you with your sleep quantity and quality?
    • How often do you move your body?

    Psychological

    This domain focuses on emotional health and well-being, understanding stressors, coping with feelings and your unique understanding of your mental well-being.

    • Do you manage your emotions and moods as you like?
    • Are you living in the present or a cycle of distraction?
    • Are you optimistic about the future?
    • Do you feel resilient when faced with life stressors?

    Social Relationships

    This domain focuses on the relationships with others, how comfortable and confident you are in social situations and how much enjoyment you receive from them.

    • Do you have someone to talk to about your struggles?
    • How confident are you when you meet new people?
    • Do you feel like you have good communication with your significant other/friends/family?

    Spirituality & Personal Beliefs

    The last domain in this article focuses on personal beliefs, which include spirituality and religion. It might also be helpful to consider your values and their role in your life.

    • Is religion/spirituality important to you?
    • Do you have people in your life to discuss your personal beliefs with?
    • Is spirituality a source of confusion for you?
    • Does the media you consume help you grow as a person?

    Your answers to the above questions and any other questions you have for yourself will help guide your choices. There aren’t quick fixes; instead, focus on living in alignment with what you need for your life. Small habit changes in your everyday life are the changes that add up to more happiness and fulfillment – two essential aspects that lead to an excellent quality of life.

    I hope the questions above help you focus on aspects of your life that you can change. Remember to track your progress. You’ll know that you’re moving forward as you feel more and more content with your life. Journaling is also a great way to track changes. Progress can motivate you to continue your journey as you improve the quality of your life.

    In Sum

    The theory and research behind quality of life are wide-reaching, but reflecting on the parts of your life that you can enhance can lead to excellent quality of life. When you focus on the parts you can change, you can make a plan that works for you. Spending time improving your quality of life also improves your overall well-being, leading to more happiness and a fulfilling life!

  • How to Transform Your Relationship with Food for Good

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    Your relationship with food…

    Being present and increasing awareness of your emotional life is essential for personal fulfillment. Without it, experiencing a lasting change in your relationship with food, stress eating and your body isn’t likely.

    Nutrition and exercise are essential, but without a shift in your emotional awareness, you’ll be right back at the start sooner than the current diet fad ends.

    Be present.

    Tomorrow is tomorrow. Future cares have future cures. And we must mind today.

    Sophocles

    Being present is assessing where you are now and includes both the positive, fulfilling parts of yourself that you like and the draining aspects of your life that you need to either limit or use as an opportunity for growth or both.

    The only thing you need to do is be here today. When you’re present, you make moment-to-moment choices that significantly change your relationship with food.

    Think about today and what you need right now. Shift your focus away from immediate gratification and get closer to the core of what your heart desires most. Sometimes, asking yourself a question helps – do I want to eat the chocolate bar, or am I looking for a break from stress? It’s easy to grab the chocolate bar that tastes delicious and results in your brain being flooded with feel-good brain chemicals. The challenge is focusing on what you need for your well-being and your relationship with food.

    Most people who struggle with emotional or stress eating, body image, and chronic dieting develop an automatic reaction to food. What’s important to remember is that this is a brain-based behavior that can change. What it is not is a lack of willpower or mental toughness. It’s a learned behavior and you can learn different behaviors that align with what you want in your life.

    If you want to get off the diet merry-go-round of chronic stress eating, an effective strategy is allowing yourself to accept the challenge of being present right now. You can learn to become a mindful and conscious eater and change your relationship with food.

    Follow your guidelines.

    He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

    Niccolo Machiavelli

    When thinking about your future self, are you in command of your present self?

    The only way to ‘obey’ yourself is to listen to your wisdom and ‘command’ your body with the clarity, kindness, and compassion you need to move forward. Listen to your good advice; it’s how to change your relationship with food.

    A plan based on your unique needs and clarity about what needs to change is a good starting point for lasting change.

    You can make clear choices when you’re present and have guidelines that work best for you. You can identify what you need and incorporate it into your everyday life. What you’ll build is confidence that you’re on the path of greater self-awareness and fulfillment. Stress eating doesn’t have a chance!

    You will get to where things make sense and the difficulties you experience from living with another person’s guidelines, for their food relationship is impossible. You must listen to your mind, body and heart and do what’s right for you.

    It’s easier to notice opportunities when focused on what’s working rather than struggling with what doesn’t.

    You can see things clearly, and your path forward is less complicated than your relationship with food.

    Even when the path is unpredictable, when clarity is your guide, you can adjust and stay on course.

    Practice more of what works and stop doing what holds you back.

    Don’t skip the messy middle.

    Welcome the present moment as if you had invited it. It is all we ever have so we might as well work with it rather than struggling against it. We might as well make it our friend and teacher rather than our enemy.

    Pema Chödrön

    When thinking about your relationship with food, it’s easy to get lured into focusing on the result, like you need to –

    • stop stress eating
    • stop criticizing your body
    • feel more comfortable

    Looking at someone else’s plan is natural when stressed out and desperate for change. A lot of the time, it’s excellent not to reinvent the wheel. But when new clients start coaching with me and follow someone else’s plan, they usually get stuck and overfocus on the result rather than on one choice at a time.

    When you skip over the middle part of the change, you lose all the needed learning. The middle part of the process is where your hard work creates the change.

    Step-by-step small changes are what create transformation. The middle part isn’t something that can be skipped over – it’s essential.

    This phase is rich with opportunities for self-knowledge to achieve fulfillment in your life. The middle is the ‘how to change’ part of changing your relationship with food. The best part is that you can use the process as a guide whenever needed.

    Acceptance.

    Even as we live with the knowledge that each day might be our last, we don’t want to believe it.

    Sharon Salzberg

    Acceptance lays the foundation for everything you want to achieve.

    Look at yourself clearly as you are.

    It’s difficult your experience of living in the body you have isn’t pleasant, yet it’s essential. As you grow in acceptance, sprinkle in many positive thoughts and feelings. Positive thoughts tend to multiply and nourish your desire for change.

    When you build your future by accepting where you are right now while focusing on gaining more self-knowledge, you’re well on your way to getting your needs met and changing your relationship with food.

    Transformation cannot be built on someone else’s truths for their life.

    Transformation can only occur as you know who you are and where you’re going.

    Clarity.

    Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.

    John Keats

    Getting where you’re going is faster with clarity.

    Clarity helps you identify what you need to do right now that aligns with your goals.

    With clarity, wishing and hoping for change melts into doing only what you need to do to get to where you want to be.

    Clarity allows you to take a deep breath. When you exhale, the weight of expectations and the pressure to conform to other’s expectations lift.

    You can finally say, “Ahhhhhh,” and feel at peace that your relationship with yourself, while not perfect, is progressing.

    The way to make your plan work is to work on the fundamentals. Be present, follow guidelines that work for you, start from where you are today and accept yourself with clarity. This is a foundation for building a new relationship with food and your body.

    Enjoy food and feel good about it.

  • 9 Practical Ways to Go From Stressed Out to Stressless

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    Are you feeling stressed out?

    There are so many reasons to be stressed out. But before you start looking for reasons why stress is getting the best of you, let’s bring it down.

    Stress reduction techniques you want to engage with suit your long-term well-being and happiness.

    Whether it’s –

    • misplacing your keys before an early meeting at work
    • being worried about an upcoming doctor’s appointment
    • having to give a presentation in front of your classmates,

    stress is a universal experience. Our daily stress levels can fluctuate due to our circumstances with work, health, or our families and friends. More extensive situations, such as global pandas, natural disasters, or political issues, can also increase stress levels.

    While we may not always be in control and feel stressed out, we are responsible for how we respond to stress. Here are some ways to deal with stressful situations and learn how to reduce stress’s impact on your well-being.

    Ways To De-Stress

    You might have a never-ending to-do list, meetings that could have been emails, or be stuck in traffic that makes your hectic life just that much busier and leaves you feeling stressed out. Finding time for yourself in the mix of your responsibilities is challenging. Luckily, even with a handful of free minutes a day, you can take action on a few things to help you calm and lower your stress.

    Here are some examples to help you go from stressed out to stressless.

    1. Go for a short walk.

    Walking lets us clear our minds, get fresh air, and move our bodies. When we go outside, our minds become stimulated by the outdoor environment rather than the internal stress we may focus on. Additionally, physical activity releases endorphins, which are feel-good hormones in the brain that support pain relief.

    2. Take a music break.

    Music can feel therapeutic because listening to songs you enjoy, singing along with, or dancing releases a neurotransmitter, or a chemical messenger, in the brain called dopamine. Dopamine has several functions, but some of its functions include lowering blood pressure and feeling contentment, which may result in better moods.

    3. Call a loved one.

    It may be beneficial for you to pick up the phone to hear someone else’s voice when the stress in your head begins to feel loud. According to health psychology, social support is an incredible tool for stress relief, coping with difficult situations, and even overcoming illnesses. Talking to a loved one can help you feel less alone, especially during tough times.

    4. Cuddle with your fur baby.

    Touch and affection can positively impact your well-being. Research has shown that both can reduce cortisol—the hormone in our bodies that induces stress reactions. Not only can a quick at-home pet therapy session make you de-stress, but it can also improve the bond with your pet.

    5. Give mindfulness meditation a try.

    In recent years, mindfulness meditation has become an increasingly popular stress relief technique. Mindfulness meditation is centering ourselves by bringing awareness to the present moment.

    6. Take a hot bath or shower.

    Research suggests a hot bath or shower about 90 minutes before bed can help lower stress. When you feel elevated levels of stress emotionally, your body can feel the physical effects of tension, muscle aches, and overall fatigue.

    7. Reduce caffeine intake.

    It may be best to keep caffeine reserved for your morning coffee. Drinking caffeine too close to bedtime can alter your sleep patterns, keep you awake when you’re tired and elevate your stress levels.

    8. Read instead of scroll.

    Between Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, we have more than enough apps on our phones that make it easy to absorb content endlessly. If you catch yourself repeatedly saying, “Just one more video,” and realizing it is past your bedtime, it may be time to limit your phone use before bed. The downside of scrolling on your phone late at night is that the blue light from screens can reduce the production of melatonin, a hormone in our bodies that induces sleep. If you’re craving relaxation before bed, try picking up a book you might enjoy.

    9. Write about it.

    When we face stressors, it’s easy to bundle up all our emotions about the situation. Sometimes, putting any intrusive or anxious thoughts out on paper can clarify your issues or help you find new ways to solve problems—not to mention release all your emotions about your stressors onto paper.

    Conclusion

    We all experience some stress, and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been at least a few times a year. No matter the magnitude of our stressors, the situations that elevate stress can weigh heavy on your mind and body. Well-being habits can help you de-stress every day and enhance your happiness level. I hope this article provides some options and inspires you to compile your favorite list of stress management techniques.  ​

  • How To Embrace Your Inner Strength and Cultivate Self-acceptance

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    Inner strength is one of the most powerful traits to cultivate self-acceptance.

    The science and philosophy that support self-acceptance as a way to be effective in your life and align with your intentions and goals is strong.

    Self-acceptance is embracing all of your attributes, positive or negative, exactly as they are. Sometimes, you may struggle to accept particular qualities you have. Maybe you were criticized as a child, or you’re locked in the comparison trap rampant in popular culture or on social media; it is not easy to be compassionate with yourself. But accepting who you are is vital for your happiness and overall well-being. Self-acceptance is a fundamental part of psychological health and well-being. Keep reading for a more in-depth explanation and ideas on cultivating self-acceptance.

    Self-Acceptance for Mental Health

    Low self-acceptance leads to suffering. When you don’t fully accept yourself, you’re at a higher risk of experiencing anxiety and depression. Specifically, when you reject negative qualities about yourself, it can lead to rumination about the negative attributes. When you are in a situation and the negative parts of yourself show up, the result is often negative self-talk. Some examples of negative self-talk include statements such as:

    • I’m not good enough.
    • I’m a failure.
    • I’ll never get things right.

    Negative statements we tell ourselves often become feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, sadness, and anxiety. However, when you accept yourself, especially the parts of yourself that you’re not proud of, you increase your control over your emotions. In other words, self-acceptance can prevent anxiety and any other emotion that’s difficult to accept.

    Self-acceptance for Happiness and Well-Being

    Like mental health, cultivating self-acceptance is a key to happiness and well-being. You can manage negative self-talk more effectively when you have more control over your thought patterns and feelings. High levels of self-acceptance boost your self-esteem, allowing you to be more confident about yourself and giving you the power to handle criticism better.

    Self-Acceptance as a Means for Change

    Maybe up to this point, you have the impression that self-acceptance means becoming stagnant or complacent. It’s easy to think about, mainly because the philosophy and science of self-acceptance encourage you to embrace every part of yourself. But self-acceptance doesn’t mean that you stop learning about yourself and growing. Self-acceptance gives you the freedom to recognize and acknowledge your weaknesses so you become aware of the things you want to change in your life.

    Personal growth is spotlighted through the lens of self-acceptance. You cannot grow and improve your relationship with yourself without knowing who you are. The benefit is that cultivating self-acceptance opens you up so you can practice self-compassion and self-love and transform into your most authentic self.

    How to Practice Self-Acceptance

    The science and philosophy behind self-acceptance make a lot of sense, but how do you start a practice in your daily life?

    Here are a few techniques to get you started –

    Remind yourself that you’re learning and growing.

    Remember the last time you learned a new skill? When I started gardening, it looked so easy on the shows I watched. I wanted the yard in my new house to look just like the pictures in all the magazines. But I got a bit overwhelmed by learning about soil conditions light requirements, some plants don’t flower the first year, and it went on and on. My garden that year didn’t look anything like the picture. My neighbor had been gardening for over ten years, and her garden was beautiful!

    Making mistakes opens the door for negative self-talk to peek around the corner, ready to break into your mind. I could have told myself, “I’m a terrible gardener,” or “Gardening just isn’t for me.” But you can go in a different direction and tell yourself you’re learning and developing new skills. When you find yourself in a situation where you are not naturally skilled in compassionate self-talk like, “I will get better at this,” or “It’s okay, I’m learning and next time will be better.” Allowing yourself to accept that you’re learning and making mistakes is part of the process that can release the expectation of perfection and empower you to try again.

    Keep a gratitude journal.

    When you focus on things that went wrong during the day or dwell on things you don’t like about yourself, it’s helpful to stop, breathe and shift your focus. Developing a habit that signals you to think about ways to shift your focus to a more positive mindset helps you cultivate self-acceptance. One way to accomplish this is by keeping a journal (or a notes app on your phone) to write down a few things you are grateful to have in your life every day. Focusing on the positive will reduce negative feelings, boosting your ability to accept yourself more mindfully.

    View your experiences from a different perspective.

    If you keep circling back, thinking repeatedly about a situation, does it feel uncomfortable? Try looking at the situation from a different point of view. Is there anything that could be a silver lining? Sometimes, you can get stuck in your feelings, and it’s like you keep experiencing them all over again. It’s often helpful to ask what or how Aunt Jane would think about this. Looking at situations with fresh eyes, you’ll find things you didn’t notice before that may help you accept the experience.

    Conclusion

    Cultivating self-acceptance is not a practice we can master daily, which is totally okay. The important thing is to recognize the concept and find ways to incorporate self-acceptance into your life to support your mental well-being better so you experience more happiness.​

  • The Truth About Stress Eating: Imperfection is Part of the Journey

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    There are only five things you need to do to stop stress eating.

    It might sound too easy, but the five steps take time and patience – there are no shortcuts and perfectionism only slows your progress. If you can commit to the belief that life can be less stressful and even harmonious, you can learn the five steps and stop stress eating.

    The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

    Mother Teresa

    When you get so tired of doing the same thing repeatedly that you can’t do it one more time, you’re in the perfect place to change the situation.

    You know stress eating is more than calming anxiety. There’s something more – you need to live your life with peace, fulfillment and health.

    If you take the steps below, you’ll be on your way to becoming a conscious eater. The time and energy you spend planning, eating, worrying about what you ate and regretting you gave into the habit again doesn’t happen, and that’s one of the best freedoms of all.

    Paying attention to your body’s needs becomes a pathway for a better relationship with yourself. You learn more about your real needs and experiment with how best to meet them.

    You get to know your limitations and the possibilities for caring for yourself in a way you feel good about. Most of all, you learn what you need to take better care of yourself.

    When you take the steps below, you’ll be on your way to stop eating stress. 

    1. Eat when you’re hungry

    Courage is a kind of salvation. 

    Plato

    This sounds like an oversimplification, but how often do you deny yourself food?

    It could be that you ignore your hunger, don’t allow yourself to eat certain foods, or both.

    If your body needs energy, there is just no replacing food. You can distract yourself and delay eating for so long before hangry sets in.

    Your hunger signals may go quiet for a while, but you can be sure they will return, and you won’t be able to ignore them!

    Eat a balanced meal. It’s great if you’re craving a balanced meal or snack since you’re simultaneously taking care of both needs!

    Which leads to…

    Enjoy your food.

    Choose what you eat wisely to get the physical nourishment your body needs and the satisfaction your mind and heart need. Take care of your whole person. Without enjoyment, there won’t be satisfaction, leading to stress eating later.

    Sometimes, you will eat purely for fuel. We all lead busy lives and sometimes food is merely a means to an end — putting more fuel in the engine so you can keep going.
    Food is also an essential way people experience pleasure. If what you eat isn’t pleasurable on some level, most of the time, you will be left wanting unsatisfied.

    At least once a day, eat for fuel as well as for the experience of pleasure.

    2. Be present

    The point of power is always in the present moment.

    Louise L. Hay

    Do just one thing while eating.

    When you’re driving, watching a show, working on the computer, playing a game on your phone, reading, etc., you’re unable to be aware of what you’re eating, if you enjoy it, if you’re hungry for food when you’ve had enough – there are a lot of decisions!

    Distraction is one way of disconnecting from stress eating and the feelings of guilt or shame about what you’re eating, how you’re eating it and how you feel about your body and yourself.

    Distracted eating is a statement about your relationship with yourself. You can fully commit to self-compassion, honoring your needs and desire for nourishment – this is when you stop eating stress.

    Mindful eating is one tool you can use to pay attention to the taste, texture, aroma, colors, etc., of the food you’re currently eating.

    When you eat mindfully, you can assess your relationship with food and how you respect your body.

    3. Identify your feelings

    The best way out is always through.

    Robert Frost

    Calm anxiety before eating, rather than eating to calm anxiety. Easier said than done, right?

    This can be tricky since hunger makes anxiety worse. Anxiety can also be one of the early signs of hunger. It gets complicated very quickly!

    Our ancestors needed to be on the lookout for food; they might have been a little edgy about it, so when it was available, they would find it and eat it. Although food is abundant, this early survival mechanism kicks in when hunger is ignored, and you may become a little edgy, too.

    Help yourself to slow down. Do your best anxiety-reducing techniques, a few deep breaths, a little calming yoga, a short mindfulness meditation for 2–5 minutes, and then eat a balanced meal or snack. The food will wait.

    Anxiety or worry is one of the most frequent feelings that leads to stress eating. Eating is something to do; it takes your mind off of the issue and depending on the food, your brain will be stimulated to release calming brain chemicals.

    The way through this is to identify the feeling, pinpoint its cause as best you can and take one simple step toward your future free from stress eating.

    Sometimes this means making an action plan and other times it means reassuring yourself and creating a peaceful environment when you’ve done all you can.

    Increase your awareness of the feelings you experience most often. Emotional awareness is your guide to stopping eating stress and preventing it from happening.

    Knowing what’s going on inside gives you options for better self-care.

    Stress eating is no longer a distraction from what’s bothering you, you know and you have a choice in managing yourself.

    4. Leave morality out of your food choices

    Having a healthy relationship with food means you are not morally superior or inferior based on your eating choices.

    Evelyn Tribole

    Food is not sinful! How many foods are described as sinfully delicious?

    How often have you heard, usually at dessert time, “We’re being so bad tonight?”

    What if we accepted that our bodies enjoy pleasurable experiences like eating good food?

    Acceptance in the total sense means honoring your desire for pleasurable experiences with food, non-judgmentally.

    When you accept that you’re an eater who enjoys eating, you’ll also accept that you sometimes need fuel. You can accept when fuel is primary and enjoyment second since you can trust that there are times when you’ll eat purely for pleasure, too.

    Eating for fuel only.

    You have a big meeting at two o’clock and it’s essential to have a balanced lunch at noon, so you’re fueled, thinking clearly and on your game. Your priority is reviewing your notes and getting fuel. That’s okay some of the time.

    I was eating just for pleasure.

    Think about birthday cake or special foods you only have at holiday celebrations. These foods and the ritual of eating them symbolize the importance of the moment, your family traditions and culture.

    Foods have different nutritional values, not different moral values. Eat well and enjoy.

    5. Seek connection instead of stress eating

    Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow. It’s a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them — we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

    Brene Brown

    Stress eating can motivate reconnecting with someone, a memory, thought, or feeling.

    If you’re craving a specific food, ask yourself, is it the memory or person you want to connect with? 

    Is the food a way to make it happen, or would you get your needs met by a conversation, planning a visit, or making dinner plans with a friend or family member?

    Stress eating is the pathway to the relationship you want to experience. The problem is that stress eating can’t help you connect how you want or need to communicate with others or yourself.

    Increasing your awareness of stress eating and the feelings that led you there is the way to move toward what you need. Awareness can help you refocus from the food obsession to the relationship and you can get your needs met.

    These five actions will move you further down the road to what you want so you can stop stress eating more than any diet ever could. You have the answers you need right inside you. I hope that the tools above will help you discover them!