Your relationship with food…

Being present, increasing your awareness of your emotional life, is essential for personal fulfillment.  Without it experiencing lasting change in your relationship with food, stress eating and your body isn’t likely.

Nutrition and exercise are important, but without a shift in your emotional awareness, you’ll be right back at the start, sooner than the current diet fad ends.

Being present

Tomorrow is tomorrow. Future cares have future cures. And we must mind today.


Being present is clearly assessing where you are at this moment and includes both the positive, fulfilling parts of yourself that you like as well as the draining aspects of your life that you need to either limit or use as an opportunity for growth or both.

This only thing you need to do is be here today. When you’re present you make moment to moment choices that all add up to big changes in your relationship with food.

Think about today and what you need right now. Shift your focus away from immediate gratification and get closer to the core of what your heart desires most. Sometimes asking yourself a question helps – do I really want to eat the chocolate bar or am I looking for a break from stress? It’s easy to grab the chocolate bar that tastes delicious and results in your brain being flooded with feel good brain chemicals. The challenge is to focus on what you really need for your well-being and your relationship with food.

Most people who struggle with emotional or stress eating, body image, chronic dieting, developed an automatic reaction to food. What’s important to remember is that this is a brain-based behavior and it can change. What it is not is a lack of willpower or mental toughness. It’s a learned behavior and you can learn different behaviors that are more in alignment with what you want in your life.

If you want to get off the diet merry-go-round of chronic stress eating an effective strategy is allowing yourself to accept the challenge of being present right now. You can learn how to become a mindful and conscious eater and change your relationship with food.

Follow your own guidelines

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

Niccolo Machiavelli

Are you in command of your present self when you’re thinking about your future self?

The only way to ‘obey’ yourself is to listen to your own wisdom and ‘command’ your body with the clarity, kindness and compassion you need to move forward. Listen to your own good advice it’s the way to change your relationship with food.

A plan based on your unique needs and clarity about what needs to change is a good starting point for lasting change.

When you’re present and have guidelines in place that work best for you, then you can make choices with clarity. You can identify what you need and incorporate it into your everyday life. What you’ll build is confidence that you’re on the path of greater self-awareness and fulfillment stress eating doesn’t have a chance!

You will get to a place where things make sense and the difficulties you experience from living with another person’s guidelines, for their food relationship is impossible. You need to listen to your mind, body and heart and do what’s right for you.

It’s easier to notice opportunities when you’re focused on what’s working rather than struggling with what doesn’t work.

You’re able to see things clearly as they are and your path forward, to is less a complicated relationship with food.

Even when the path is unpredictable, when clarity is your guide, you can adjust and stay on course.

Practice more of what works and stop doing what holds you back.

Don’t skip the messy middle

Welcome the present moment as if you had invited it. It is all we ever have so we might as well work with it rather than struggling against it. We might as well make it our friend and teacher rather than our enemy.

Pema Chödrön

When thinking about your relationship with food, it’s easy to get lured into focusing on the end result, like you need to –

  • stop stress eating
  • stop criticizing your body
  • feel more comfortable

When you’re feeling stressed out and desperate for change, it’s natural to look at someone else’s plan. A lot of the time it’s great to not reinvent the wheel. But when a new client starts coaching with me and they’ve followed someone else’s plan they usually get stuck overfocusing on the end result.

When you skip over the middle part of change, you lose all of the stuff you need to learn. The middle part of the process is where your hard work creates the change.

Step-by-step small changes is what creates transformation. The middle part isn’t something that can be skipped over – it’s essential.

This phase is rich with opportunities for self-knowledge to achieve fulfillment in your life. The middle is the ‘how to change’ part of the process of changing your relationship with food. The best part is that you can use the process as a guide whenever you need it.


Even as we live with the knowledge that each day might be our last, we don’t want to believe it.

Sharon Salzberg

Acceptance lays the foundation for everything you want to achieve.

Look at yourself clearly as you are.

It’s difficult your experience of living in the body you have isn’t pleasant, yet it’s essential. As you grow in acceptance make sure you sprinkle in a lot of the positive thoughts and feelings. Positive thoughts have the tendency to multiply and nourish your desire for change.

When you build your future by accepting where you are right now while focusing on gaining more self-knowledge, you’re well on your way to getting your needs met and changing your relationship with food.

Transformation cannot be built on someone else’s truths for their life.

Transformation can only occur as you get to know who you are and where you’re going.


Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.

John Keats

Getting where you’re going is faster with clarity.

Clarity helps you identify what you need to do right now that is in alignment with your goals.

With clarity wishing and hoping for change melts into the act of doing only what you need to do to get to where you want to be.

Clarity gives you the opportunity to take a deep breath. When you exhale feel the weight of expectations and the pressure to conform to other’s expectations lift.

You can finally say, “ahhhhhh,” and feel at peace that your relationship with yourself, while not perfect, it’s progressing.

The way to make your plan work is to work on the fundamentals. Be present, follow guidelines that work for you, start from where you are today and accept yourself with clarity. This is a foundation you can build a new relationship with food and your body.

Enjoy food and feel good about it.