blog title graphic with a red modern flower on a beige background that says, how to be in control of your mind

If you feel like you don’t have control of your mind, thoughts, or feelings and that’s something you want to change this year, keep reading…

Do you ever think, “If I could just stop thinking about or feeling like (fill in the blank), then I would be successful, happy, and free from worry and anxiety?” It’s a very seductive thought process. The problem is that absolute control isn’t about forcing yourself to think or do anything. It’s much more sophisticated than that.

A controlled mind is a calm mind, active in the present moment and aware of the potential results of decisions made. A controlled mind can focus attention where it matters, acknowledge and accept thoughts without reacting, and handle distractions without quickly interrupting its calm. With a controlled mind, you can intentionally influence your thoughts and emotions to reach your goals and adapt your responses to align with the circumstances.

How controlling your mind helps you be more calm.

Your thoughts, emotions, and physical well-being benefit from having a controlled mind.

This includes:

  • reduced stress
  • better focus and concentration
  • increased self-awareness and decision-making
  • clear communication in your relationships

How controlling your mind supports a growth mindset.

Your mindset is the framework for viewing the world and helps you understand and respond to your experiences. Your upbringing and culture influence your mindset but are not permanent. You can change your mindset anytime so that it helps you thrive and create the life you want to live.

Here are four ways controlling your mind helps you create a growth mindset.


A regular gratitude practice includes focusing on the positive parts of your life and acknowledging your appreciation for them.

Research shows that practicing gratitude improves mental health outcomes, such as more life satisfaction, higher self-esteem, and less depression and anxiety.

Small habits help to encourage your practice of gratitude every day. One way to do this is to keep a gratitude journal and note one to three things you’re grateful for daily. Another practice that my clients find helpful is starting the day with a reminder of three things to be thankful for before the day begins.

Positive Self-Talk

Positive affirmations are often considered simplistic, but they are the fuel for rewiring your brain so that you’re in control. Affirmations are short statements or thoughts, such as “I am capable,” “I am strong,” or “I am loved.” Repeating these affirmations regularly reinforces positive beliefs about yourself and your abilities, which, in turn, help you take action that leads to your success and fulfillment.

Focusing on Strengths

When you focus on your strengths, you focus on your talents and abilities and use that evidence to increase your confidence. When you focus on your strengths, developing a more positive and confident mindset is easier.

Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset is one of the most beneficial changes you can make! A growth mindset is embracing challenges and using setbacks to grow your skills and confidence to learn more about yourself and your capacity to move forward. Many studies have shown that a growth mindset relieves the stress of negative experiences that can result in anxiety and depression.

You can create a growth mindset by viewing challenges as opportunities for growth, practicing gratitude, and embracing the uncertainty of new experiences.

Five more ways to be in Control of Your Mind.

Here are a few more ways to support your calm and in-control mind.

Practice self-care

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs is essential for a controlled mind. Ensure you sleep well, eat a well-balanced diet and move your body regularly. Practicing relaxation or meditation is also important to clear your mind and be present.

Set boundaries

Clear boundaries with others help you limit complicated and harmful situations that lead to unclear and confusing situations.

Choose positive influences

Surround yourself with positive influences that keep your life moving forward. This could be supportive family members, friends, or mentors. They help you control your mind by supporting your positive beliefs, habits, and goals.

Welcome change

Change is healthy and frees you from being tied to the same patterns and situations that can keep you stuck. If you make changes, you rewire your brain to be open and flexible for anything. With confidence, you can set boundaries as needed.


Taking control of your mind is a personal process. And you’ll probably need more than one approach to get where you want to be. Taking the point of view of experimentation can help you explore strategies and discover what works for you. Be patient with yourself and you’ll create a life where you’re in control.