Stress Eating

  • How to Motivate Yourself to Stop Stress Eating

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    What’s your motivation kryptonite?

    When you don’t feel good about yourself, soothing yourself with food is easy. But, when it leads to even more stress in your relationship with yourself, that’s problematic. Finding the motivation not to stress eat can be challenging, but it is essential for improving your well-being. Understanding what might motivate stress eating can help you address and prevent those stressors more effectively.

    Maybe your body is too big or too small or something else you don’t like, and your solutions are to stress eat, over-exercise, or do nothing.

    Do you feel like you hide from your thoughts, and feelings of discontent and unworthiness become part of the daily stress that leads to stress eating?

    The relationship you have with yourself and, more especially, your body is at the very core of your being.

    Kindness can motivate you to stop stress eating.

    We can’t separate our feelings about ourselves and our relationship with food from our feelings about our bodies. Keeping them separate only leads to self-deception and things never being quite right. Preventing stress eating is challenging when all you want is stress relief.

    Gratefully, you can learn to relieve stress without using food. You can live free from the vicious cycle of attempting to relieve immediate stress that only heaps on more stress. It’s an effective cure.

    Actively being more kind to yourself helps to motivate you with more options for stress relief so you can stop stress eating.

    Here are three ways that stress eating steals your motivation.

    1. Stress eating shatters your confidence.

    To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.
    ― Simone de Beauvoir

    I have spoken with countless people, mostly women, who talk about their confidence in many areas of their lives.  From being a great parent to achieving top positions in large corporations to leadership positions in community organizations, meaningful work in government, clergy, educators, and entrepreneurs.

    These women “have it all together” in many ways that society values. They are making significant contributions to the world. There are aspects of their lives at which they know they excel.

    I also talk with many people in not-so-grand positions who are held back by their relationship with food. They feel small and unworthy of positive nurturing attention from their self. It’s another case where stress eating destroys dreams and goals.

    Many outwardly successful people speak about the dread they feel when they think about the toll of stress eating as those who are less successful.

    Both sides of the success coin are not living their lives to the fullest. No matter what you see outwardly, at work, at school, or on social media, stress zaps confidence in your abilities.

    The confidence to stake their claim on the life they want to live is squashed by the foreboding thought, “They’ll find out by looking at my (pick a perceived flaw) and know that I’m a fraud.” The definition of imposter syndrome.

    This thought loop, “I want this; no, you can’t have it, but I want it,” zaps any hope of pushing yourself through fear and imperfection to your humanness. The reality is that when you go through the thought loop and create a new pattern, it will help you move forward.

    What if you accepted that your stress eating does not determine your worthiness in living your life to the fullest? What if worthiness versus feeling worthless is a judgment thrown in the path of your personal growth?

    You can be motivated to stop stress eating when you decide you want a different life. There are skills you can learn along the way to support your changes. Making decisions while also maintaining a position of respect, love, and kindness with yourself helps enormously.

    Being in the process of change is being in the process of life.

    You can be where you are right now and move toward your goals. You’ll grow confident that you don’t need to be at some artificial endpoint where everything is set and only then live your life. This is part of the myth of perfection that keeps you stuck.

    • Break down your goal into smaller parts.
    • Dip your toe in and test the water.
    • Assess what worked and what didn’t. Make adjustments.
    • Go a little further toward your goal and reassess.

    Each time you learn more, you live your life how you need to, and it heals your soul.

    2. Stress eating destroys your will.

    You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself.
    ― Geneen Roth

    Maybe you have the confidence but not the will.

    Action is what makes the difference between disappointment and satisfaction.

    Hoping and wishing is the stuff of fairy tales. They are good.  We need fairy tales to help us understand the world and the possibilities of our futures. They help us see past the obstacles, both real and imagined.

    If only we could recall how we felt when we were small, or could imagine how utterly defeated a young child feels when his play companions or older siblings temporarily reject him or can obviously do things better than he can, or when adults—worst of all, his parents—seem to make fun of him or belittle him, then we would know why the child often feels like an outcast.
    ― Bruno Bettelheim, The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales

    Our call as adults is to shift out of this mindset. Perhaps the messages you received as a child weren’t helpful. Perhaps they didn’t support you in the way you most needed. It’s not okay, and at the same time, you can change what you tell yourself now.

    You can live today with grace and transform the pain into self-compassion to nurture and support you. To move beyond the pain and into a more peaceful, satisfying life is one of the most healing things you can do for yourself.

    Healing stress eating happens bit by bit, and motivation happens by taking kind action filled with self-compassion. It heals the soul, which motivates my clients to stop stress eating.

    3. Stress eating makes your life miserable.

    If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.
    ― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs

    Think about the low hum of criticism throughout your day. It’s everywhere, from the news to social media to our opinions about other drivers, the weather, food, and our body size, shape, and health.

    Complaining and fault-finding are far too easy to slip into.

    When you engage in criticism, which often results in stress eating, you add to the hostile environment you’re living in. Since it’s you that you’re living with all of the time, your thoughts are your mindset. Shifting your focus is the only way out of the misery.

    Changing your focus may require you to actively filter out the stuff that doesn’t add meaningful information to your life.

    As you change your mindset and take the steps you need to motivate yourself to stop stress eating, you’ll find that you’re less interested in the petty criticism, the stories that keep you locked in negativity, especially as it relates to your body and your health. You will also find that it’s easier to take action on the things that enhance your personal development.

    Kindness heals.

    Not just from the “learn to love yourself” platitude but from a deep sense that you can change. You can change your relationship with yourself. Changing your mindset with hefty doses of self-compassion and loving kindness nourishes your ability to take the action you need to take to make your life better.

    Kindness indeed heals the soul.

  • Is Authenticity the Magic Wand to Stop Stress Eating?

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    Authenticity & Stress Eating

    Transparently being yourself, even when you’re not where you want to be, is genuine authenticity. When combined with an awareness of what you’re feeling, fueling stress, eating is the pathway to fulfilling your need for calm. Understanding how authenticity, stress, and eating intersect is crucial for managing your well-being.

    Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen. ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

    Authenticity helps you understand yourself in the present moment. There comes a point where you can’t lie to yourself anymore. You can’t justify your actions, twisting your mind into all sorts of pretzel logic excuses.

    • In the addictions community, it’s called hitting rock bottom.
    • In the religious community, it’s called being who God knows you to be.
    • In the business community, it’s called being straightforward and empathetic.

    Being authentic is about more than just wishing and hoping. It’s more than, ‘I’m a sinner, so I can do whatever I want as long as I repent before the end.’

    What if emotional eating is the struggle when your authenticity with yourself gets stuck? This keeps you from knowing yourself and becoming a Conscious Eater.

    You lose sight of paying attention to your unique thoughts and feelings. Instead, you follow the stereotypical majority. After all, no one wants to be left out. The bigger question is, are you leaving yourself out of your equation?

    How can you make decisions that are in your best interests if you don’t know your needs? What if you use the problem of stress eating to make sense of your unconscious wishes, desires, and pain? Consciously, you can use emotional eating for information.

    Authenticity benefits well-being, and stress eating detracts from it.

    The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. – Marcel Proust

    It’s not about the food, except for when it is.

    People love to eat.

    Aside from the fueling aspect, we like the pleasurable, sensual eating experience. The tastes, textures, memories, community, and calming eating experience. This is a good thing, and it is part of conscious eating.

    It’s great to have a necessary experience that adds so much pleasure to life.

    Many of the women I work with, at one point or another, talk about the wish to take a pill for total nourishment rather than having to deal with food. While this might sound nice in the short run, the real problem isn’t the food.

    Food is associated with so many different and frequently conflicting messages.

    From the standpoint of authenticity, the food is just food. It doesn’t have any unique properties beyond providing a source of energy. We associate memories and the feelings attached to them for a million different reasons. This shapes the experience of the food and, ultimately, yourself.

    People enjoy receiving pleasure from food.

    Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. -Voltaire

    When you eat something pleasurable, all sorts of good things happen in your brain. The reward centers say, “Yes, that’s great, give me more!” You feel good. Maybe you experience less anxiety and feel calmer. You’re more authentic, and stress eating may not even enter your mind.

    Maybe you will feel better having had lunch with a friend. The focus isn’t so much on the leftovers from last night’s dinner you’re eating but on the conversation, caring, and sense of belonging you received by being in each other’s presence.

    Food is so much more than just the nourishment of the body. It’s a multidimensional or multilayered relationship with your gender, culture, family, and yourself.

    Authenticity is accepting and exploring how the calm you receive from stress eating works.

    You might need to step away from diets to do this. If you stress eat and diet too, your thinking might go something like this: “I’ll admit that this is delicious, and I’m enjoying it. At the same time, I can’t say I like it. If I admit that I need sensual pleasure, that’s uncomfortable. Everyone will know that I can’t control myself.”

    That’s not an incredible conversation to have with yourself. It can only lead to many cover-ups and explanations about your behavior. These lead you further from authenticity and make you even more stuck.

    When you allow yourself to enjoy and savor food at least once daily, being mindful of your needs will satisfy you. Food is nourishment in the fullest meaning of the word.

    If you accept that you like to eat, will it help you slow down the process of stress eating? Will it help you know that you don’t have to use the excuse of stress eating only when you feel out of control?

    You can slow down, allow yourself to experience your emotions, feel your feelings, and stop stress eating so it isn’t even in the picture.

    People want to feel good about their bodies.

    Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love.― Rabindranath Tagore

    Most people, even with a bit of vanity, want to feel good in their bodies and look good!

    You want your clothes to fit well and feel like your body is healthy. Perhaps most of all, you want to look pretty. You don’t want to be subject to others’ judgments!

    Authenticity is about how your body aligns with your view of yourself right now. Some may say this is acceptance, but I hesitate. Acceptance often implies a fixed state of being; some would confuse this with giving up. That’s not the case and not the case with stress eating, either.

    Acceptance is not trying to be someone, or somewhere you’re not. Acceptance is looking at yourself clearly and knowing who you are today.

    Authenticity is stripping away the judgments, opinions, and rules that keep you stuck and unable to move in the direction you need to go.

    How do you live more authentically in your relationship with food and your body?

    • Challenge your judgments with curiosity about where they originate and if the judgment has a reasonable basis.
    • Challenge yourself to increase your tolerance of uncomfortable feelings rather than stress eating. Most feelings will decrease in intensity after 15 to 20 minutes.
    • Allow yourself to get more comfortable with the awareness that pleasurable experiences with food are natural and healthy.

    It’s a very intimate relationship. And, when you allow yourself to work your way through your thoughts, feelings, and memories, you can get to a new experience. An experience that will enable you to see yourself clearly – authentically as you become a Conscious Eater.

  • How to Stop Stress Eating and Not Overthink It

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    Stopping stress eating is a huge energy drain when you overthink it.

    Stress eating takes your focus away from more productive activities, like dealing head-on with the emotions that hold you back.

    Think about how much time and energy you expend thinking about uncomfortable feelings, wanting them to go away. Telling yourself that you can quit the obsessive thoughts about food and then eating food you wish you hadn’t anyway fuels the frustration. It’s the cycle that leads to overthinking when you so desperately want to stop stress eating.

    How much time and energy have you wasted on stress eating and overthinking, rather than doing the big things in life you want to do?

    How much money have you spent on food that doesn’t fuel your mind, body, or heart?

    Keep reading because there is a way to support yourself as you break out of this cycle.

    The challenge is to have an effective plan to help you move through the emotional rough spot.

    Stress eating can feel abstract, like there’s nothing to grab ahold of and you don’t know what steps to take. With a clear plan you can identify the skills you need and develop them so you can use your emotions as a guide rather than a roadblock.

    One of the great benefits of Conscious Eating is that the more you practice, the less thought is needed. It becomes a natural way of being as you navigate your way through your day.

    Conscious Eating becomes a life skill that you easily use all the time without overthinking!

    You probably have read about how you ensure your body is gets what it needs to support you physically. Here are a few short reminders so that you have a good nutritional basis before you start:

    Eat breakfast – break the fast

    Research has shown that breaking the fast by eating soon after waking has benefits throughout the day. Eating breakfast helps prevent emotional, impulsive, and binge eating, even many hours later, by keeping your energy and blood sugar levels stable.

    Get enough protein

    Research has shown that eating a mix of carbohydrates, protein, and fat keeps you stable throughout the day—blood sugar, energy level, clarity of thought, etc. Eating a well-rounded meal also helps you feel satisfied with your meal, and with satisfaction, the drive for something more is no longer nagging. You can move on to the next thing in life.

    Get enough rest

    Research has shown the link between sleep and the ability of your body to run smoothly. When you don’t sleep enough, you are much more susceptible to going for the quick energy of simple carbohydrate foods to get the energy you lack from being tired. This can start a vicious cycle of feeling guilty about the foods you eat, creating a cascade of feelings that can lead to more emotional eating.

    Now, things are about to get more interesting!

    Conscious Eating is where you develop the foundation and mindset to keep you feeling well for years. The most significant benefit is that you don’t need to consider the emotional consequences of your eating.

    Food is food, and the emotional pull dissipates. You are free to eat what you like, secure in the knowledge that you will nurture yourself in ways you know are right for you.

    1. Know that the food will wait for you.

    Sometimes, I hear people say that they feel controlled by food. Food somehow has you in its grip and charms you with its promise of a satisfying experience.

    But really, this can’t be true. Overwhelming, unclear, unpleasant, feelings lead to an overwhelming desire for food to take away the discomfort. It’s the the unclear emotional experience that leads to a need for calming with food.

    Conscious Eating shifts the power dynamic from stress eating to your innate sense of nurturing.

    You can develop a mindful relationship with food. Following the physical guidelines above is one way to ensure you don’t get over-hungry.

    As you begin to practice patience and ask yourself what you need.  It could be food or it might be a different way of nurturing yourself. When you step back, wait a moment, and give yourself time to figure out what you need, you can make decisions that support your relationship.

    2. Know that you can eat whatever you want.

    “Unconscious dieting usually occurs in the form of meticulous eating habits.”
    ― Evelyn Tribole

    Many people have ideas about good food vs. bad food. Often, this leads to stress, such as cutting out whole food groups, eating by color, restricting certain foods to only on holidays, and overthinking what to eat.

    While you need to pay attention to your unique sensitivities, you can also have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Honestly, answer the question, “Am I cutting out certain foods because I have a negative opinion about it or because it doesn’t sit well with my body?”

    Most of the time, your view of the food gives it more power than it really has. When all foods have the same moral value, they lose their power.

    The result is that you can make food decisions that support you in mind, body, and heart.

    3. Know that when you’re conscious, kind, and loving toward yourself, you will treat yourself well.

    “As soon as you notice you’re suffering, you automatically embrace yourself with compassion.”
    ― Kristin Neff

    It’s very difficult to be harsh and judgmental about your relationship with food when you shift to Conscious Eating and loving-kindness.

    It’s also challenging to do the opposite of stress eating and overthinking – to be unconscious and give yourself a “free pass” while practicing Conscious Eating. Genuine, authentic, loving kindness also makes it impossible to deceive yourself.

    As you grow in your relationship with yourself, your foundation becomes more muscular.

    You can choose any food and eat those you enjoy with pleasure. You can also choose foods that provide the nutrition you need because that’s what your body needs, even if they aren’t the most exciting foods. Both types of eating are necessary.

    You have more truly nurturing goodwill for yourself from which to live. It’s like a well of goodness you can draw from any time.

    4. Trust your body instead of overthinking and stress eating.

    Conscious eating allows you to be quiet, listen, and trust that when you give yourself the opportunity, you can make choices you feel good about.

    You can trust your relationship with yourself.

    • when you’re tired, you will rest;
    • if you’re energized, you will move;
    • you’re missing connection, you will re-connect;
    • when you’re hungry, you will eat.

    Paying attention is part of how you live, no longer denying your body and pushing through. Actual toughness is knowing when to push and when not to.

    5. You can live following the ebb and flow of life with awareness and grace.

    “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    ― Jon Kabat-Zinn

    Conscious Eating isn’t about a perfect connection with yourself. There will be times when you are very busy, and it’s a mad dash to grab something to eat just because it’s there and you feel stressed.

    Sometimes, you will be sad, and life serves up a big bowl of lemons, and you feel like stress eating and start to overthink your options.

    These are the times when being more conscious and more present in your relationship with yourself is challenging. It’s natural to want to check out and get through. That’s Okay.

    Becoming a Conscious Eater gives you the foundation that you will not abandon yourself when tough times happen. You have built a relationship with yourself to support yourself, knowing that tomorrow is a new day.

    Begin your journey to becoming a Conscious Eater by letting go of rigid thinking and rules that don’t make sense. The relief you’ll experience is worth the effort.

  • How to Focus on One Change at a Time to Stop Stress Eating

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    Stress eating often feels like a close companion when life gets overwhelming.

    The irony? It promises relief but pulls you further from the peace and control you crave. Focusing on how to stop eating stress can be a challenging yet important goal.

    When overwhelm strikes, it’s easy to get stuck. You might procrastinate, waiting for tomorrow to start that new diet, health kick, or exercise plan. But stress eating sneaks in, offering a temporary escape—a quick fix to feel calmer and more in control.

    Here’s the truth: tackling everything at once only adds to the chaos. Instead, focusing on one change at a time can help you break the cycle of stress eating and move closer to your goals.

    Why Focusing on One Thing Works to Stop Stress Eating

    When everything feels tangled, it’s hard to know where to begin. You might feel confused, frustrated, or ready to give up. That’s why narrowing your focus to just one thing can be so powerful.

    For example:

    • Start by managing one emotion. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, focus your energy on calming a single feeling—whether it’s frustration, sadness, or overwhelm. Once you feel better, you can shift your focus to the next step.
    • Take baby steps. Every small victory builds momentum and confidence, helping you create meaningful, sustainable change.

    This isn’t about forgetting everything else. It’s about setting limits and doing what you can when you can—a strategy that works in the long run.

    The Myth of “All-or-Nothing” Solutions

    Many try to solve stress by introducing strict diets or intense exercise plans. It seems logical: create structure, follow rules, and regain control. But these plans are usually someone else’s guidelines for their life—not yours.

    Here’s the problem:

    • Stress eating isn’t just about what you eat; it’s often tied to why you eat.
    • A rigid plan doesn’t address emotional triggers or the habits that keep you stuck.

    Instead of jumping into a one-size-fits-all solution, consider an approach that builds on your unique needs step by step.

    Change Takes Time (and That’s Okay!)

    Think about other big changes in your life—moving, starting a new job, or navigating a major transition. These moments required you to adapt over time, discovering routines, preferences, and priorities bit by bit.

    The same principle applies to focusing on stopping stress eating. When you focus on small, intentional changes, you:

    • Develop the skills and mindset needed to sustain progress.
    • Learn what works for you and what doesn’t.
    • Build a foundation for long-term success.

    It’s not about flipping a switch. It’s about integration over time.

    The Role of Emotional Health and On Your Ability to Focus and Stress Eating

    We often focus on eating better and exercising more when we think about health changes. But taking care of your emotional health is just as important.

    Any changes you make will be hard to maintain without addressing the stress and emotions that drive stress eating. That’s why creating a framework that includes emotional well-being is key.

    Conscious Eating helps you:

    • Identify your stress triggers.
    • Understand your emotional relationship with food.
    • Create a plan for long-term success.

    This isn’t about quick fixes or fad diets. It’s about creating a lifestyle that supports your goals and values without falling back into the stress eating, dieting, and guilt cycle.

    Sustainable Change, One Step at a Time

    Small, intentional changes add up. With each step, you build a foundation that supports lasting success. Over time, you’ll discover what works, what feels good, and what supports your well-being—even if it’s not your favorite thing to do.

    By embracing this approach, you’re not just stopping stress eating—you’re transforming your life.

    Getting to know yourself better and knowing your boundaries makes life more comfortable in the long run.

    Focusing on one thing at a time allows you to pause, pay attention, and make meaningful changes—like stopping stress eating, one emotion at a time.

    Slowing down might feel counterproductive initially, but it’s often the fastest way to get what you truly want. By giving yourself space to understand your needs, try new ways to handle stress, and explore feelings you may not have recognized, you can integrate new awareness into your life in powerful and lasting ways.

    The Power of Planning and Patience

    Change doesn’t happen overnight, and breaking free from stress eating requires more than just willpower. It’s about shifting how you relate to yourself and making thoughtful decisions—not impulsive ones.

    Taking care of yourself in this way is an act of self-respect. One of the greatest benefits of this approach is that the changes come from within. When you change your mindset, you change your life.

    A growth mindset helps you:

    • Reframe challenges as opportunities.
    • Focus on progress, not perfection.
    • Embrace the present while working toward a better future.

    This mindset becomes a reward—a way of living that helps you feel grounded, capable, and hopeful.

    Break Your Goal Into Bite-Sized Pieces

    “You can’t run before you learn to walk” applies here. Starting where you are—no matter how small the steps—helps you gain clarity and confidence.

    • Break your goal into manageable parts. What’s the first step you can take today?
    • Learn and adapt as you go. Experiment with different strategies to see what works for you.
    • Give yourself grace. Not everything will succeed, and that’s okay. Every attempt is a chance to learn and refine.

    The Whole Enchilada: A Metaphor for Change

    Think of your overall goal like a delicious enchilada. Each part of it contributes to the whole, and every layer matters.

    • The Corn Tortilla: This represents your structure and boundaries. It’s what holds everything together. For example, your overall goal might be: “I want to move through sadness without turning to food for comfort.” This provides clarity and direction.
    • The Filling: This is where the real work happens. The protein, vegetables, and spices represent your actions to shift your mindset and manage stress.
      • For stress eating, this might mean using a calming mantra, journaling through a difficult feeling, or taking a mindful walk to decompress.
      • It’s about discovering what helps you feel supported without relying on food for comfort.
    • The Sauce: This ties everything together. It’s your awareness and focus as you work on one thing at a time. Even if there are other goals you’d like to tackle, this is your chance to commit to the task at hand fully.

    Narrowing Your Focus to Stop Stress Eating and Expand Your Life

    When you take the time to plan your steps, you respect your process and yourself. Narrowing your focus doesn’t mean ignoring everything else—it means prioritizing what matters most at the moment so you can grow at a sustainable pace.

    This slower, intentional approach allows you to:

    • Identify what you need most.
    • Learn how to meet those needs in healthy, constructive ways.
    • Practice until the changes feel natural and empowering.

    Bit by bit, you’ll create a strong foundation for growth. And as you integrate each change, you’ll focus and break the cycle of stress eating—and embracing the life you deserve.

  • 15 Powerful Mantras To Break Free From Stress Eating

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    When you’re caught in the grip of stress eating, relief can’t wait. You need a way to interrupt the endless cycle of stress, discomfort, and turning to food for comfort. That’s where mindset shifts come in.

    These 15 powerful mantras are designed to help you break free from stress eating, one thought at a time, giving you the clarity and strength to create a new, healthier relationship with food.

    Stress eating is so hard to stop because it becomes deeply ingrained as a habit. Finding a mantra can help you break free from stress eating. Breaking free can feel overwhelming—for many people, it takes months or years, making the task seem impossible. But remember, a mantra helps you break free from stress eating.

    This cycle often fuels guilt and shame, leading to increased body dissatisfaction, feelings of failure, and a flood of negative thoughts. You can use a mantra to break free from this stress eating loop.

    Stress eating becomes a loop that feels impossible to escape.

    It’s like a song stuck on repeat: stress increases, your thoughts turn to food, you eat to feel relief, and for a moment, the uncomfortable emotions seem to disappear. But the next time those emotions surface, the same pattern repeats. To break free, use mantras to stop stress eating effectively.

    Here’s the truth: it’s not about willpower, strength, or determination. This cycle exists because the brain is wired for efficiency, always seeking the path of least resistance. Stress eating is simply the brain’s way of coping in the quickest, easiest way possible. A mantra can help you break free from stress, eating once and for all.

    Because we are creatures of habit, breaking the cycle requires interrupting the loop.

    The good news is that this interruption is the key to stopping stress eating altogether. That’s where skills and tools come in—they provide practical, long-term solutions to create lasting change.

    Yes, it takes effort to rewire your habits, but it’s absolutely possible. With the right strategies, you can build new pathways that empower you to respond to stress in healthier, more fulfilling ways. Mantras can help you break free from stress-eating patterns on your journey.

    Stress eating often follows a predictable pattern:

    1. Experience – You feel an emotion, which is something that’s simply part of everyday life.
    2. Response – Your brain’s natural reaction is to calm the system and return to “normal” or baseline as quickly as possible. When stress overloads your brain, it narrows its focus to find the fastest way to feel better.
    3. Cue – Your brain signals you to eat pleasurable foods that trigger feel-good chemicals, temporarily reducing stress. You feel relief for the moment, but the underlying issue remains unaddressed.

    This loop keeps you stuck, but the key to breaking free is learning to interrupt the cycle. Skills and tools empower you to step out of autopilot, addressing the root of the problem rather than just the symptoms.

    While it takes effort to rewire these habits, the good news is that creating new pathways is completely possible—and the results are worth it. Use a mantra to break free from the loop of stress eating.

    To change the stress eating habit, you need to interrupt the thought patterns that keep the cycle alive.

    If you’ve been here for a while, you know I’m a big believer in the power of mantras. They’re simple but incredibly effective tools to help you stay focused and grounded. I often encourage my students to have a few mantras ready to support them when they need a quick reset.

    Using a mantra allows you to pause, create space, and take a different action. This small shift can make a big difference, guiding you toward making conscious choices instead of falling back into old habits when trying to break free from stress eating.

    Mantras are a powerful tool for becoming a Conscious Eater and breaking the emotional eating cycle for good. Remember, the purpose of a mantra is to help you focus on what you want—and take the steps to make it happen, allowing you to break free from stress eating!

    Here are 15 mantras to break the emotional eating habit:

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com
    1. My body fuels my mind. My mind calms my body. My heart is filled with love.
    Mantras quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    2. I care for my mind, body, and heart with love & grace.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    3. I am at home in my mind, body, and heart.

    Mantras quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    4. Revitalization happens when I listen to my body’s wisdom.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    5. I am present, clear, kind, and loving.

    Mantras quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    6. I nourish myself with food to fuel my body with energy, satisfaction, and enjoyment.

    Mantras quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    7. I live today with clear intention.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    8. I inhale calm and exhale stress.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    9. May my relationship with myself, be compassionate.

    Mantras quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    10. I am walking the road that leads to food freedom.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    11. My health and well-being rest in my heart.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    12. May I focus on what is important.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    13. I nourish myself with kindness and compassion.

    Mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    14. May my heart be open to kindness & love to and from myself.

    mantras break free from stress eating quote card with colorful flower background. powerfulcalm.com

    15. May I listen to my wise inner voice.

  • How to Stop Stress Eating and Transform Your Eating Habits

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    Blog post title card with a beige background and pink and orange modern flower that says, how to stop stress eating and transform your eating habits. powerfulcalm.com

    There is no fast track to stop stress eating and transform your eating habits.

    There, I said it at the start, so if you are looking for a quick fix, I won’t hold you in suspense any longer. To truly transform your eating habits, you need more than just quick tips.

    This isn’t one of those articles about how you can shortcut your way to health.

    You’re much too important for half-truths and harmful tactics.

    Many, many people have searched for years, and yet, they still come up short.

    I wish there were a pain-free way to change, but I haven’t found it yet.

    However, if you’re more interested in a lasting, lifelong change where you stop stress eating and transform your eating habits,  Conscious Eating may be just the right fit for you!

    Read on and find out how to match the type of goal to the situation you want to change.

    Making a new start to work through stress eating requires a plan with flexibility – yet at the same time, you must stay focused on your goal.

    You also need different types of goals for different situations.

    A lot of people I work with have knowledge about food, balanced nutrition, appropriate physical activity levels, etc., which is good but only gets you halfway to your goal, which is good but still only halfway to your goal.

    Transformational Goals

    To keep moving and accomplish the goal requires intentional action. You need to apply the knowledge in a way that feels right, supports your health, and motivates you to apply the knowledge to make different choices today than you did yesterday. This is the pathway to transform your eating habits.

    The way to do this is to make your goal big first. This is the overall transformational change you want in your life.  Once you clearly define the goal, we will break it down into manageable, action-oriented, smaller goals.

    Here are some examples of transformational goals:

    1. I want to be happy and enjoy my life.
    2. I want to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
    3. I want to surround myself with relationships I enjoy, are growth-oriented, and mutually beneficial – work, family, friends, etc.

    Think about this for a while. You are worth the effort to take your time, weed your way through the easy, quick answers, and get to what your heart knows is your truth. Getting to the heart of your big goal may take some ongoing refinement.

    These are usually the so-called “pie in the sky” desires.

    It’s often a steady process of trial and error, making adjustments along the way and paying attention to what brings you peace. Sit with it and work with the big goal until you’re clear about what you need.

    Remember, being conscious means that you remain aware of changes, and when a shift needs to happen, you’ll have the tools to figure out what you need and how to get it.

    Now that you’re on your way to the big goal, it’s time to implement it.

    You’ll need a few different types of goals to get you there. One type will fit for a certain situation and another for a different situation. The most important part to remember is that transforming your eating habits to stop stress eating requires growth and curiosity about how you think, feel, and talk to yourself.

    Change evolves from the inside and shows up on the outside in many different ways.

    Here’s a look at three of the most popular smaller goals and a few ideas about how to build and feed your motivation to achieve them.

    Weight Loss – you’ve tried diets and extreme workouts and feel like a failure because you abandoned “the plan” before you reached your goal or you reached the goal, but maintaining it was too complicated, and the weight came back.

    This is the number one frustration that leads people to Conscious Eating. You want to maintain a weight that feels right to you, and you want to eat well, feel good about how you nourish your body, and end the focus on dieting. You want your mental energy back so you can focus on the things that matter in life.

    Flexibility Goal

    Enjoy food and set limits that don’t feel diet-related, “That’s fattening; bad for me; can’t eat that because…, etc.” since these thoughts will only lead back to feeling bad about yourself. Instead, create a flexibility goal.

    Shift from all-or-nothing thinking to choices you naturally have in life. “Today I choose to enjoy x or today I don’t really want x, and that’s OK, my goal is to  ____ and I can have that food another time.”

    Emotional eating, binge eating, food addiction, compulsive eating, whatever it’s called, doesn’t matter as much as your desire and need to stop stressing out about food.


    The repetitive thoughts, daydreams about the food you’ll buy, searching for the perfect recipe, and the bargaining that this is the last time you’ll “do it” need to stop. The amount of stress and negative self-talk this creates is extreme and wastes the valuable time and energy you could use to do things you need and want to do for your own peace of mind.

    It’s all about choice and making decisions based on what you want in the long term – your big goal, not external pressures and short-term reactions, so you transform your eating habits.

    Self-Compassion Goal

    This situation requires a self-compassion goal.

    Keep your focus on what you want while expressing compassion for yourself. The main objective is to comfort yourself with kindness rather than harsh judgments or rules you’ll most likely rebel against.

    Kindness, compassion, and love will get you further down the path of health than you think.

    When you can receive what you need from yourself, you’ll be motivated to create more opportunities for the process to continue.

    Motivation to treat your body well with exercise or physical activity helps you feel strong.


    Too often, you jump into it head first, forcing your body to recover and keep going, but in the end, you have injuries, can’t recover how you want to, and hit a plateau. These issues are often due to treating your body as an object to control rather than your most precious resource.

    When you listen to your body and work where you are right now, you’ll increase your awareness of when you need to rest and when you can push more. You’ll work with your natural rhythm and do what is needed.

    Coaching Goal

    This requires a coaching goal.

    A good coach sees your potential and acknowledges that you’ve got to start with where you are right now. Considering this, you can break down the encouragement you give yourself into a step-by-step process.

    Doing a little more than yesterday stretches you, but not too much that you give up. It’s a workout by workout, walk by walk, yoga class by yoga class, accepting that you’re working and growing. The goal is to stay in the game, and this happens by protecting your body with just the right amount of activity.

    Focusing on what you want in your relationship with food and ultimately connecting with yourself more intentionally is a very realistic goal.  It is just one of those goals that you work on bit by bit over time, and then suddenly, you notice, “Hmm, I don’t do/think/worry about that anymore.”

    Conscious Eating takes time.

    Slowly making changes over time and integrating those small changes bit by bit is why it’s lasting. Pay attention to the little things. Shifts in how you feel, decreased levels of stress, and making better food choices to transform your eating habits. This helps you stay motivated and focused on your goals. There isn’t the excitement about dramatic changes over a short period—that’s a good thing. Dramatic changes are usually too much to handle all at once. People find it hard to move from one extreme to the other. You need to grow and adapt; small goals can lead you to the better place you want to be.

    Conscious Eating changes happen on a smaller scale, so you can integrate them into your life as you move toward your big transformational goal.

    For example, it’s much easier to change from 5 sugars to 3 sugars to 1 sugar in your coffee eventually than to go from 5 sugars to 0 sugars. Easy is a relative term because getting used to something different isn’t easy. Gradual change gives you time to consider your options so you can figure out what works best for you. As you develop your skills for identifying and filling your needs, you will also find that you can focus on the things in life that are truly life-giving.  You may find that you enjoy your relationships more rather than focusing on stuff like food.

    Life is less about the material things you can possess and more about your connections with yourself and others.

    It takes practice and focus to keep on track. Once you’ve developed the skills, they become like a reflex you naturally use without too much thought.   Allow yourself to create limits that are supportive and nurturing. Kindness with limits is the way toward food peace. Sign up for the worksheet and get started today!

  • How to be Clear, Confident and Trust Your Food Choices

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    With an overwhelming amount of food choices at any given moment, it can be challenging to be clear, confident, and trusting of your food choices.

    Not only the number of choices we have (go down the cereal or yogurt aisle of any supermarket in the States) but also the food and nutrition information/advice we are exposed to—regardless of fact or fiction—is, in a word, excessive.

    How do you know what is best?

    What is “good” for you?

    What will satisfy you?

    Does the portion size on the package make sense given your hunger, the actual amount of food, the type of nutrition (protein, carbohydrate, fat), portion description, etc.?

    It’s easy to be confused, no matter how smart you are! How will you ever trust your food choices?

    And then we factor in the emotional component…

    The part of your brain that wants permission to have whatever you like when you like. It may scream for ice cream for every meal, focusing only on immediate relief. That part of you probably doesn’t want to slow down, so look inside yourself and find out what you like.

    That’s OK. You need this part of you for emergencies when making a snap decision. Gratefully, most of the time, it isn’t an emergency.

    It would be best if you had a plan to break the habit of impulsively reacting to food.

    Conscious Eating provides a foundation for building a better, more peaceful relationship with food so you can trust your food choices.

    What if your emotional part seeks comfort, excitement, interest, pleasure, escape, or something else?

    You probably know what I’m about to say; it’s nothing new.

    Comfort foods are just that, created to satisfy an emotional need. They’re usually meant to provide immediate relief from what’s troubling you.

    That’s why they work to comfort you while you’re enjoying the food. But then you’re reminded of your desires beyond the immediate, and guilt, shame, and disappointment reappear.

    This is where Conscious Eating is your “most terrible gift,” as an old colleague used to say. It’s terrible in that it isn’t easy, but a gift in that it sets you free!

    Trusting yourself and being emotional is rarely thought of together, yet it’s often helpful.

    It can be like your first swim of the summer.

    Dive in and swim around a bit and get to know the temperature.   

    Feel the firmness of the sand beneath your feet and the lightness when you wade into the waves.

    They lift you up and then gently sit you back down on the soft sand swirling around your toes as the tide recedes. Peace on the water is restored…until the next wave…

    This process leads you to Conscious Eating—developing the skills you need to ride the wave of emotion.

    This is the process:

    • feeling
    • experiencing
    • understanding
    • moving through

    You can move through stress eating and reach a place where you no longer need it and you can trust both your food choices and your emotions.

    You feel at peace with yourself, and food has its proper place- nourishment that allows you to enjoy yourself and live your life with consciousness and presence –nourishment in mind, body, and heart.

    Learning to trust your food choices is a three-part process.

    1. Have a thoughtful plan about your “Big Picture.” What is your overall goal? It is not short-term, “six weeks to a bikini body,” but what do you want in life? Rarely is dieting about just losing weight. All thoughts, feelings, meanings, etc., are wrapped up in “I want my body to be different” and moving toward “I want to have peaceful, fulfilling relationships with myself and others.”
    2. Thoughtfully assess your current situation. You will practice being present a lot! Some questions we’ll explore are: What are your options – food, stress relief, work, home, etc.? What is your current energy level, and how does this determine what comes next? Are you authentically living from your heart?
    3. Keep your focus on your future. What will your life be like when you’re at peace and have the goal in hand? This is your payoff, the big motivator- living the life you need and desire! Visualize your life in the future as you want it to be. Create small goals to help you step toward the larger goal each day. Before you know it, you’ll be much closer and more at peace than you think.

    Clear, conscious choice requires you to think about and choose your next move. Although this can feel complicated, it’s the natural process of growth.  Let’s get started!

    The Big Picture or Your Vision for Your Life

    When you look at your life, how do you want it to be? What kind of life are you creating? What are the most important components, values, and lifestyles that lead you to peace?  Is this the life you need to live for fulfillment and contentment?

    Two critical aspects of this question are:

    1. What do you want your relationship with your body to be like?
    2. How do you need to talk to yourself so that you continue to grow?

    The big picture is an evolving process where you refine as you go.

    You can define your goals through brainstorming, mind maps, vision boards and goal sheets. These are all great ways to help you determine what’s essential in your life.

    When you focus on growth, you’ll see patterns and ideas repeat. Do they capture your future vision for your life?

    Although you may not be able to plan down to the exact job, home, or body, you can think about the qualities you need in these areas of your life and invest in transforming them.

    You can get a sense of your future life with statements like,

    “I want to work in a company that values employees’ ________ (creativity, family, innovation, free time, etc.).”  

    “I want to live in a community that values _________ (sustainability, conversation, density, fresh country air, privacy, etc.).”

    This will guide you to be on the lookout for what you want and see if it feels like a good fit.

    You’ll begin to trust yourself, especially when it comes to more minor decisions like your food choices.

    Remember, you can choose something different if you get there and find it wasn’t what you thought.

    Use the information to guide your next choice and grow in your confidence and trust in yourself.

    Assess your current life situation

    Now that we’ve got the big picture in focus, getting there is a process of smaller steps or choice-by-choice decisions you make daily.

    To get there, you’ll make choices that sometimes align with Conscious Eating and occasionally don’t.

    You don’t need to be perfect. Your mistakes will help you identify where you are and how to get to the next place.

    Keep your big picture as your foundation for the skills you develop along the way and use them regularly.

    You’ll need a process to help you through the challenges.  Give yourself the time and attention you need to learn new skills. Changing stress eating requires intention and a process of conscious choice-making.

    Some ideas to keep you present for yourself:

    • Develop a positive growth-oriented mantra; you can find examples here.
    • Journal to keep you focused on the present and get the internal chatter out of your head.
    • Practice yoga, mindfulness, and simple stretching. These mind/body practices can help you get your mind and body in sync.
    • Do only one thing while eating. Eat in peace. Sit at the table and enjoy your food. You may find that you get full faster or that what you thought was enough wasn’t, and you need more. You may discover that you don’t like what you thought you did. Being quiet when you eat has many things to teach you.
    • When your mind wanders down the path of self-doubt, reach out a hand and pull yourself back to growth. Read positive quotes, listen to fun music, and call a friend. There is a push and pull with growth, always inching in the direction of growth.

    Keep your focus on the future and trust your follow-through

    Keep your eyes on the future. This is especially important when you’re developing new habits and your way of being within yourself is different. Like most new things it takes time to learn the ins and outs of new habits.

    Transformation requires fortitude.

    There are lots of things that can be improved. Take the opportunity to learn more about yourself and how to make adjustments that help you reach your goals.

    Shift any negative internal dialogue into curiosity.

    “If I thought about this in the context of my big-picture goals, how would I do things differently?”

    Take action

    Make a plan, and you will get there bit by bit. If you feel a challenge sweeping you away, take a minute to check your point of view and refocus.

    New ways initially feel clunky because you haven’t built up the experience of doing things the new way and that’s okay.

    You’ll learn that, just like standing on the shore, you will find the spot where the waves are no threat. They pleasantly and peacefully wash over your feet, relaxing in the sand. Even when it feels different, it’s also pleasant and perspective-shifting.

    Change is a process of interrelated exchanges and adjustments

    Think about Conscious Eating as a cycle with moving parts that are both unique and predictable at the same time.

    Sometimes, you focus on the big picture and get solid in where you’re going.

    Sometimes, you’re focused on the present, working with the emotion you’re experiencing in the moment and rolling through turbulent waves.

    Other times, you focus on the future, visualizing your life a week, month, or year from now and bask in the feelings of contentment.

    Each part of the process needs the other to move forward.

    Continuing to make adjustments as you become more confident in the skills you develop along the way.

    You are allowing general emotionality to become a specific feeling that you recognize and know what helps you move through it so that you care for yourself compassionately.

    Summing up

    You can be straightforward and confident and trust your food choices.

    This road is much less about specific foods, which isn’t the point anyway.

    Clarity is knowing what is best for you now and trusting that you have the strategy and skills for wise choices.

    You know that life is ever-evolving, and participating in creating the life you need and desire requires flexibility and grace.

    Peace with food is right there for you.

  • 27 Easy Ways to Stop Cravings and Stress Eating

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    Craving: an intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing (Merriam-Webster online, July 2016). This is what you’re fighting against when you try to stop cravings and stress eating is as powerful as it can be!

    The good news is that you don’t have to fight. When you work with yourself instead of against yourself, the power of the craving crumbles and you’re no longer pulled toward stress eating. The intensity fizzles, and you are free to make choices without feeling deprived, guilty for giving in, or weak-willed. You can enjoy delicious food and have a peaceful mind and a strong body.

    Here are 27 simple solutions to stop cravings and stress eating you can use right now.

    1. Eat when you’re hungry.

    If your body needs food for energy, there is just no replacing food. You can distract yourself and delay eating for only so long. Your hunger cues may disappear, but you can be sure they will return with a vengeance. Eat a balanced meal. If you’re craving a balanced meal or snack, even better since you’re simultaneously caring for both needs! If it’s not and you’re still craving a particular food, you will most likely experience a less intense desire after the balanced meal. This will give you space to enjoy it, now or later, rather than ravenously eating and perhaps consuming more than you feel comfortable eating.

    2. Enjoy your food.

    Choose what you eat wisely to get both the physical nourishment and the satisfaction your mind and heart need. Sometimes, you will eat purely for fuel. We all lead busy lives, and occasionally, food is merely a means to an end—putting more fuel in the engine so you can keep going. Food is also an important way people experience pleasure. If what you eat isn’t pleasurable on some level, you will be left wanting and unsatisfied most of the time. At least once a day, eat for fuel as well as for the experience of pleasure.

    3. Calm anxiety before eating, rather than eating to calm anxiety.

    This can be tricky since hunger can make anxiety worse. Anxiety can also be one of the early signs of hunger. It gets complicated quickly. Our early ancestors needed heightened awareness to make them more aware of their food and when it was available to catch and eat. Although food is all around, you may become edgy when hunger is ignored. Do your best anxiety-reducing techniques, a few deep breaths, a little calming yoga, a short mindfulness meditation for 2-5 minutes, and then eat a balanced meal or snack.

    4. Make choices based on physical needs first and emotional needs second.

    Check-in with yourself about your level of hunger. Do you need a snack or a meal? Are you even hungry? Has it been more than a few hours since you last ate? If you don’t need fuel, look toward another activity to fill the space you need to fill.

    1.  

    5. Sit at the table to eat. Be present and engage in the process of eating.

    Set the table and make it a pleasant experience for yourself. Use your favorite place settings, clear the clutter from the table, and play some nice music to enjoy the experience. This will also help you slow down and be more conscious of your physical and emotional hunger.

    It’s normal to crave favorite foods when you haven’t enjoyed them in a while but to stop cravings and stress eating, you can…

    6. Plan for the craved food.

    Sometimes, there’s a food that you enjoy so much that you look forward to experiencing it. This is normal! The way to eat with pleasure and stop overeating is to know that you can enjoy this food whenever you want. When the scarcity is gone, you can give yourself the gift of enjoyment. Make the craved food part of your daily food plan and eat it with awareness and freedom from judgment.

    7. Don’t wait until you’re famished to eat.

    You lose the ability to make conscious choices when you wait too long. Your physiology will drive you to eat whatever you’re craving, usually simple, easily digested carbohydrates because they supply quick energy. Eating a balanced meal will restore your ability for clear thinking and conscious choice-making.

    8. When you tell yourself you’re addicted to sugar, you’ll crave it more.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, sugar is super good, but more than the debate about whether sugar is addicting or not is the belief that eating it leaves you without the option of free will. Shifting your mindset to, “I have the option to eat sweets,” rather than, “I’m forced by my addiction to eat sweets,” gives you space to consider what you want. Sometimes, you will want sugary foods; occasionally, you might want something else after stopping for a moment. You can listen to your mind, body, and heart and choose for yourself.

    9. Do just one thing while eating.

    When you’re driving, watching TV, working on the computer, playing a game on your iPad, reading, etc., you’re typically less aware of what you’re eating. This can distract you from guilt or shame for eating the craved food. When you pay attention to what you’re eating, especially if you can suspend judgment, you may find that less food fulfills your need for it than if you mindlessly half-aware consume it.

    10. Be sure you’re eating well-balanced meals throughout the day.

    You nourish your body with what it needs to function well when you get a blend of carbohydrates, protein, and fat at each meal. This will decrease cravings for missing nutrients and make maintaining stable blood sugar and energy levels easier. Find the mix of carbohydrates, protein, and fat that works for you, but ensure you get a blend of all three.

    Managing stress is something we all need a plan for especially when you want to stop cravings and stress eating.

    11. Take care of stress.

    We all need a plan for managing stress so that when it gets to us, we have options to decrease stress. Increasing awareness of your stressors, planning prevention when possible, and taking action to reduce stress regularly will help prevent cravings and emotional eating as a distraction from what’s bothering you.

    12. You’re tired and looking for energy.

    Cravings, especially for high-energy foods, typically carbohydrates, often result from needing rest. Getting about 8 hours of sleep, or the amount your body needs to wake up feeling rested and not sleepy during the day will decrease this type of craving.

    13. You’re thirsty and need to quench your thirst.

    Your body may need hydration if you crave soda, coffee, iced teas, etc., regardless of natural or artificial sweeteners. Try drinking fresh water and notice if you feel better than if you had a different type of drink. Are you getting enough water, generally eight, eight-ounce glasses a day, or does the flavored drink keep you from getting the water your body needs? Of course, enjoying flavored drinks is okay; just be sure you’re getting the water your body needs, too.

    14. If you’re feeling sluggish, maybe you need to move your body.

    The boost a craved food may give may mask your physical need to connect with your body. Our muscles are made to work, and our joints need movement to stay healthy. Short walks are one of the best natural mood elevators available. Moving in a safe, compassionate, connected way is a form of nurturing your relationship with your body.

    15. Celebrations and food are intimately linked.

    Is the celebration focused on the food or the accomplishment? In the West, birthdays, weddings, or any other important milestone are celebrated with a special cake. This is great! The trouble is when there is an over-focus on the food and an under-focus on the celebration. Other ways of celebrating can be a memorable trip or activities like a movie, roller skating, skiing, bird watching, a craft or art project, a one-on-one walk with someone special, etc. Shift your focus to the celebration, not only to the particular food.

    Pinpoint worries, put them in their place and make a peace plan so you can stop cravings and stress eating.

    16. Worry is often a motivator for cravings.

    Eating is something to do; it takes your mind off of the issue, and depending on the food, your brain will be stimulated to release calming brain chemicals. The way through this is to identify the worry, pinpoint its cause and do what you can to address the situation. Sometimes, this means making an action plan and other times, it means reassuring yourself and creating a peaceful environment when you’ve done all you can.

    17. Motivation for connection.

    Cravings can motivate re-connecting with someone, a memory, thought, feeling, etc. When you crave a specific food, is it the memory or person you want to connect with, and is the food a way to make it happen? The food is the pathway to the relationship you like to experience. This awareness can help you re-focus from the food to the relationship so you get your needs met.

    18. Mindful eating means paying attention to your food’s taste, texture, aroma, colors, etc.

    When you eat a craved food in this way, you can assess your relationship to it. Many people find this an excellent way to break the habit of eating a specific food they may not care for much but eat anyway—out of habit.

    19. The broken record or you can’t get a particular food out of your head and keep returning to it repeatedly.

    Acknowledge that maybe you eat the food will decrease the focus on it. Most people have a rotation of things that they eat frequently. You need to enjoy something different when bored with the same food. Boredom may be the cause and the treatment may be new menu items!

    20. Comfort eating can be a habit rather than taking a risk to trust yourself.

    People are most comfortable with consistency. Feeling safe in the habit can become so secure that you become stuck and convince yourself that you crave food (similar to feeling addicted) rather than take the risk of leaving your comfort zone. Small steps, changing one meal or food, can ease you into a richer relationship with yourself.

    Shift your thinking to creative outlets to stop cravings and stress eating.

    21. Cooking, watching cooking shows and reading recipes can engage your creative self.

    However, looking for the perfect recipe for the food you crave still focuses on the craving rather than what you may need. Therefore, shift your thinking to other ways of being creative. These don’t need to be big projects, expensive, or masterpieces. Look for ideas at your favorite craft store or online.

    22. One last time, thinking – “I’ll only eat this one last time, get it out of my system, and then be done with it.”

    This thinking leads to the next “one last time” episode. You can eat whatever you want, whenever you like and learn the tools to listen to your mind, body, and heart for how much, when, what, etc. You are your guide in your relationship with food.

    23. Create a culture of respect and kindness for your own needs.

    Shift your relationship with your body from domination, “I will not give in to craving,” to a relationship, “Hmm, what’s up that I keep thinking of eating cake every 10 minutes?” This fundamental shift provides breathing room for you to get to know yourself a little more. Understand yourself a little more and, as a result, care for yourself a little more kindly.

    24. Good food vs. bad food.

    While foods have different nutritional values and some are more nutrient-dense than others, this doesn’t imply that less nutritive-dense foods are bad! Food is just food, not good or bad. Most people find that when bad food leaves their vocabulary, they are less inclined to overeat or crave previously judged foods.

    25. Pay attention to how your body feels when you eat certain foods

    This will increase your attunement to how and what you eat based on your feelings. You nourish yourself with foods that make your body feel good and happy.

    26. Leave morality out of it—food is not sinful!

    How many times have you heard, usually at dessert time, “We’re being sinners tonight?” How many foods are called sinfully delicious? What if we accepted that our bodies enjoy pleasurable experiences like eating good food? Acceptance in the fullest sense means honoring your desire for pleasant experiences with food, non-judgmentally.

    Stop dieting and start Conscious Eating!

    27. STOP DIETING!

    This is the best way to solve cravings once and for all. Everything I’ve said so far is summed up in that the simplest solution is establishing a partnership with yourself for your self-care and well-being. This includes nourishing yourself with good food, loving relationships, and pleasurable activities. It also consists of the discipline to stop and invest in your relationship with yourself by honoring what you need for fulfillment: mind, body, and heart.

    Wrapping up…

    Becoming a Conscious Eater is a beautiful gift!

    You can be free from counting, restricting, bargaining and compensating with food.

    Cravings are far less intense and you have tools to honor your desires when you experience them.

    The tradeoff is the responsibility to care for your well-being from a place of self-compassion, honesty, and love. It will sometimes be challenging, and you must push yourself to be uncomfortable. You will learn new skills and develop new habits.

    The time and investment are worth the reward of gaining a richer relationship with yourself, filled with peace!

  • 5 Powerful Ways to Stop Mindless Stress Eating for Good

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    Mindless stress eating may seem like nothing more than relief from a stressful moment in life.

    It’s like tasting something delicious will take the bitterness out of life.

    But, when it happens repeatedly and you feel guilty about it, it’s a recipe for shame and regret.

    We all have basic needs, like a roof over our heads, money, and, of course, at the most basic level, fuel for our bodies in the form of food.

    Our more personally specific needs like love, companionship, a sense of purpose and belonging, feeling calm and at peace, or knowing how to manage your emotions are just a few. Identifying how much you need and when quickly is more complex – they’re more specific to the flexible.

    Sometimes, a need bubbles to the surface slowly over time.

    At another time, your impulses are strong and fully capture your attention, convincing you that changing the direction you’re headed in is a waste of time and energy.

    Reaching for the candy dish while thinking about a stressful client meeting relieves the unpleasant feelings of frustration. But the stressful meeting is still there waiting for you to fix it, regardless of the sweet candy distraction.

    Mindless stress eating can be a way to get your attention and be present so you can make conscious choices that lead you where you want to be.

    What makes the most significant difference in stress eating? Give yourself space to pay attention to what matters so you can make choices that matter in your life.

    Five unmet needs that lead to mindless stress eating and ideas to help.

    1. Connection – be around people who are a positive influence

    Creating this type of community, if you don’t already have it, is one of the most important ways to stop mindless stress eating.

    Changing your mindset and habits and learning to regulate your emotions so you work well with them is easier when you’re around people who are also on a personal growth path.

    It’s energizing to have a conversation with another person who shares your interests, is open to learning and looks toward the future with hope.

    How does this help stress eating when it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with food?

    Maybe you’re into taking a photography class, joining a quilting guild, taking a painting course, going antiquing with a friend, joining a sailing club, taking a meditation course, or anything else you might be interested in that is creative, positive and growth-enhancing lowers overall stress and shift your focus.

    Creating new connections and being around forward-thinking people supports a growth mindset. Your brain needs something to do, or it will default to doing what uses the least energy – like going back to old ways of thinking. Giving your brain something to do that interests you creates new neural pathways that help you shift your thinking to what you want.

    2. Kindness and self-compassion

    When mindless stress eating takes hold, the usual response is to criticize, find fault and withhold self-compassion. For high-achieving women, there’s a bias toward being tough and not giving in. Since you’re already disappointed or frustrated with yourself, it can lead to even more stress eating.

    The antidote is kindness and self-compassion. They both allow you to gain perspective and assess what worked and didn’t so you can adjust and move forward with more helpful self-knowledge.

    Kindness and self-compassion give you the perspective you need to make the changes that lead to less stress.

    3. Take a break from being busy

    Everyone needs a break sometimes. This doesn’t mean you must wait until vacation to get the space you need. Our attention is pulled in so many directions that choosing what you want is often difficult.

    Sometimes unplugging helps to allow some breathing space so you can see challenges as they are and avoid mindless stress eating altogether.

    Slow down and consider what you need. Give yourself the gift of time to figure out what you need. It’s an opportunity and you might be surprised at what you find.

    4. Accept where you are while keeping your focus on your future.

    Acceptance does not mean giving up on your goals. Acceptance means being right where you are now while remaining thoughtful about your future. Thoughtfulness is one of the most effective ways to prevent mindless stress eating.

    Acknowledge your work and be aware of your need for rest. Allow yourself time to integrate the changes you’re making.

    When you’re present, you’ll have the energy to focus and rebuild your enthusiasm for your next goal.

    5. Transform your relationship with food.

    Nourishment, how you eat to sustain your energy and satisfaction, is the key ingredient to stop mindless stress eating permanently – it’s not what, but how.

    A change in mindset can give you the calm you need to stop being led by impulse. It also stops the feelings of self-betrayal, body shame, overwhelm, and just plain not feeling good.

    Conclusion

    You can enjoy food, maintain healthful goals, feel good about what and how you eat, feel good about your body, respect your need for movement, honor physical activity, and grow your self-esteem. These are big promises and they are also entirely achievable results. You can live the life you desire with less stress and a lot more calm, clarity and connection – the key ingredients to stop mindless stress eating.

  • How to Gain Momentum without Stress Eating or Burning Out

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    Learn the 5 steps needed to keep up your forward momentum without stress eating or burning out.

    Cathartic – bringing about relief from strong emotions, usually by expressing them (Merriam-Webster).

    We are encouraged to “just get it out and you’ll feel better,” which is true often. Most of my clients feel relieved when they talk through pent-up feelings. It’s the feeling of a weight being lifted off their shoulders. And the result is feeling less stressed, even for a little bit.  

    Sometimes, an epiphany, spark, insight, or whatever it is called will happen, but that is rare.

    Simply understanding why or when stress eating starts rarely stops it in the future, and your forward momentum without stress eating requires different skills.

    Waiting for the ‘why’ to appear wastes your time and energy. You can use energy to create momentum that moves your life in a less stressful and more positive direction.

    Momentum provides the energy for action-taking so that you receive what you need.

    Instead of spinning around in circles, re-experiencing the emotion repeatedly, harness that energy and use it to transform your relationship with stress eating and burnout.

    You can propel your life into a life of kindness, self-compassion and fulfillment. You can change your relationship with yourself and keep up your momentum without stress eating and burning out.

    The key is to increase your emotional awareness so that you know how to support yourself when you experience a specific emotion.

    Right at the beginning, the most challenging part of the process is the decision to act, and the rest is focus and tenacity.

    Even when stress is high and you feel spen,t youcan stilln make changes that matter.

    The Stages of Change Model is a great framework to understand the change process. Carlo C. DiClemente and J. O. Prochaska conceptualized these changes based on their research about how people can move out of addiction. Many studies have shown that the process is the same regardless of whether it’s addiction, a job, an organization, or stress eating.

    There are five stages of change:

    1. Pre-contemplation – not ready or not aware that there’s a problem.
    2. Contemplation – knowing there’s a problem and you want to do something about it but are not ready yet.
    3. Determination – you make a plan on how to solve the problem.
    4. Action – you take action on your plan to solve the problem.
    5. Maintenance – you do what you need to do to maintain the solution.

    Since you’re reading this article, you’re most likely in the contemplation stage. You know there’s a problem. You want to change it, but you’re unsure how it’s getting to you. Another thought might be that you don’t know if the solution will be any better than the current one, even when you know it’s not helpful. Lastly, you might not be ready to give up the solution, no matter how much it pains you.

    The next stage of determination is when you’re making the plan and using the tools below to help you develop your plan to stop stress, eating and burning out. Your hope is growing and you’re optimistic that life will be better without stress eating.

    Action is the stage where you implement your plan and make adjustments as needed. As you progress in this stage, you’ll experience relief from stress eating and the peace of Conscious Eating.

    Below is a plan to help you move through these three middle stages of change. Moving through the stress is worth the effort, so you can live free from stress eating and prevent burnout.

    Here is the 5-step process to work with your feelings and gain momentum without stress eating or burning out.

    1. Get the feeling out.

    This is where it’s all about catharsis. Get the feeling out of your head and on paper through journaling, in conversation with someone, in artwork, etc. Just get it outside of yourself so you can get a little distance from it living inside you.

    Go outside and experience the feeling while getting fresh air and perspective.

    Focus on how you experience the feeling and any new insight about it.

    Allow yourself time to understand the feeling as you experience it. The more you consciously experience the feeling, the more awareness of what can help increases.

    2. Specifically, identify the feeling.

    The next step is to increase your knowledge of the feeling you’re experiencing.

    What sense do you have of the feeling?

    What does it feel like in your body?

    Does the feeling increase anxiety, anger, impatience, or something else?

    This will help you figure out what you need to calm the feeling.

    When you listen to what your mind, body and heart communicate, you’ll have the necessary information to move to the next step.

    3. Specifically, identify the feelings surrounding the situation.

    Take note of the more minor feelings that pop up as you spin around the feeling that’s got your attention.

    What other aspects of the feeling are you noticing? Sometimes, it’s helpful to think of them as sub-feelings. Think of them in terms of percentages. It might be 10 percent of one feeling, 30 percent of another, 70 percent of a different one.

    These feelings add to the quality of the main feeling you’re experiencing. They will help you understand your relationship with yourself more fully.

    They also help you to define what you need from yourself, your body and others.

    4. Specifically, define what you need.

    Now that you have a pretty good idea of the qualities of the feeling you’re experiencing and the more minor feelings that help to shape your experience.

    Take a step back and look at the big picture –

    What is it that you wish you could have to make it better?

    Are there skills that could calm or soothe the feeling?

    What will get you closer to your goal?

    5. Now, take a few minutes and think about a variety of choices you can make to move you closer to living your life more fully, more consciously.

    This can even include “not yet.” It’s okay to take time for planning. The challenge is increasing your awareness of when you’re scared and procrastinating so you’ll know when it’s time to take the leap and get moving.

    Conclusion

    Getting started is often the most challenging part of any journey. Moving from a standstill takes more energy than taking one step after another. When you feel burned out, it takes even more energy. Yet, when you change a bit at a time, it adds up and can change everything.

    Most of the time, people get overwhelmed by feelings because they’ve never known that understanding your emotions is a skill that can be learned at any point in life. Gaining momentum without stress eating or burnout is easier when you have a framework to manage your emotions. Today is the day that changes for you!