Motivation

  • Top 10 Habits To Be More Calm Every Day

    Top 10 Habits to Be More Calm Everyday

    top 10 habits to be more calm every day

    Feeling good comes from experiencing less stress and more calm and the tiniest bit of success at this, as soon as possible helps to stay motivated. When you use these 10 habits to be more calm every day, you life changes!

    Habits that motivate you to keep going and building on each success is like a snowball the magically grows with each new day.

    As you begin the process and start experiencing progress it might be difficult to trust that it will last. Others might not notice your changes, but you know what you’ve accomplished and find valuable because you see it in yourself. The challenge comes when you need to trust that you have your own best interests in your heart and stay on the path of calm and clarity.

    These are the actions that can take you to the path of greater self-awareness as you grow in your relationship with yourself where you know what you want and need and you go after it!

    Here are the top 10 ways to connect with yourself and create a calmer life.

    1. Get Moving - a simple walk around the block can help

    Physical activity is one of the most common recommendations for feeling better - because it works! Countless studies have shown that improved physical and psychological health happens through movement. A simple as a walk around the block helps goes a long way. It shifts your perspective, interrupts negative thoughts and gets your blood flowing.

    2. Talk it out - use your words to give your feelings life

    Talk it out to yourself, a friend, the dog, etc. Sometimes we really just need to hear ourselves out loud. As you hear yourself it’s easier to uncover the thoughts and feelings just under the surface. You get clear on your own internal process, how you view the situation and what you feel. Abstract thoughts become more concrete, so that options about what you can do with them become clear.

    3. Create - creativity helps the mind open up

    The act of creating something, anything, helps you to think differently. Keep supplies on hand, so when you need to create, you have them available. In a pinch, all you really need is a piece of paper and a pencil. Scribble, draw, make patterns, etc. Just get the creativity flowing. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece since that’s not the point anyway. Leave perfectionism out of it. Your goal is to introduce more flexibility into your capacity for problem-solving and creativity helps.

    4. Eat - if you’re hungry you need food!

    Not everyone experiences hunger in the same way. Emotional or stress eating might mask the early stages of hunger. It could be that increased anxiety and irritability are early hunger signs that come before your stomach starts to rumble. Give yourself a minute to check in and see if you need nourishment to refuel. If you do, eat a well-balanced nourishing meal, preferably without looking at a screen while you eat. Enjoy your food and the experience of taking good care of yourself.

    5. Companionship - seek out community

    We are social beings and sometimes we just need to be with others. Spending time with a friend can take your mind off your current worries for a bit. It’s a break that can get you out of your head and the all-consuming thoughts that lead to emotional exhaustion and overwhelm. Your troubles won’t disappear and most things in life aren’t emergencies, it’s okay to give yourself some space and shift your focus for a while.

    Being with others and listening to their challenges will remind you that no one in life escapes difficulties. We’re all in this together and being together helps to shift your mindset from, “No one understands what I’m going through,” to “we’re all more alike than different and we all have struggles.”

    6. Entertainment - do something just for fun

    Escape! Yes, escape into something just for fun.

    • When was the last time you laughed just because something silly happened?
    • Or when was the last time you played a game, just because you like it?
    • When did you watch your favorite movie?

    Push the pause button and allow yourself to let go of seriousness and have a laugh.

    7. Journal - write it out to get it out

    Journaling has a long track record of helpfulness. In fact, it’s one of the time-tested ways of getting to know yourself. You can write it out in note form, bullet journaling with colorful pens and drawings and freewriting is always an option. The point is that writing out how you feel helps you organize your experience, clarify your ideas and stop them from cycling through your thought process without examination. You may even generate ideas and plans that take you where you want to go.

    8. Plan for your needs  and take care of yourself

    Take the time to slow down, stop thinking about the others and put yourself in the equation. What is it that you need right now? What do you think you will need later today? It can be as simple as going to bed earlier, having a cup of tea, paying a bill, making an appointment, getting a new pair of shoes, etc.  Feeling less stressed for having accomplished the task is the goal. Think about your needs and put them on the agenda of, the people you take care of list.

    9. Clearly identify your feelings - know what you’re dealing with

    Sad, Mad, Glad. These all mean different things to different people and I bet you can refine your feelings even more. You can begin by thinking about all of the feelings surrounding the first one that pops into your head. Sad can be broken-down further to include, disappointed, regretful, grieving, gutted, isolated, lonely, etc. The feelings you name give you more information about what you need to feel better. They give you direction.

    10. Take some quiet time - take some time out for yourself

    Allow yourself quiet time to sit through the distractions. Take some time to sit and be still. It will take practice. Turn off the distractions. Allow yourself to experience just nothing. Start off small and take your time. Experience what it’s like for 3 minutes, then try 6 minutes, then 9 minutes. Some days will be easy and some days will be next to impossible to quiet yourself and that’s okay.

    This list is just a beginning to help you get started. There are many supportive and nurturing ways to care for yourself.

    Life will happen and it will often interrupt your calm vibe!

    Conclusion

    Establishing these habits now helps to have what you need in place when stress flares up, so you’re calm every day!

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    5 Minutes to Calm & Clarity Guide

    It's your magic wand for stress!

  • 5 Easy Tools to Clear Blocked Motivation in 5 Minutes

    How often do you feel like can’t clear blocked motivation, so you can stay on track and focused on your goals?

    5 tools to clear blocked motivation

    Sometimes a little break is just what you need to refocus and recommit to your goal, so you can clear blocked motivation.

    Asking yourself questions that lead to either affirmation or shifting of your goals is one important part of the growth process. Assessing what works or what doesn’t and then change it up so you’re closer to your goal is a nice, neat process, but there is a flipside…

    When overwhelm creeps in and your enthusiasm wanes, it can lead to apathy, decision fatigue and hopelessness.

    The cycle of feeling down and hopeless robs you of the mojo to keep moving.

    Regaining your enthusiasm is an intentional process.

    It may seem like waiting for inspiration is your only option, but in the end, waiting will only get you further away from your goal. Taking small, manageable steps, step by step, on a regular basis gets you where you want to be much sooner than you imagine.

    Fortunately, you have options to begin the process!

    You can move out of a state of apathy, doubt or overwhelm and learn to prevent it from happening again too.

    You can clear blocked motivation!

    With these 5 motivation tools and just 5 minutes each day, you can get back into the flow of success, focus your goal and welcome the good things that come your way.

    Here’s the plan:

    1. Choose one tool and practice it for 5 minutes or more if it’s working.
    2. Adapt the 5 motivation tools so they work best for you.

    Before you know it, blocked motivation will be a thing of the past.

    5 Tools to Clear Blocked Motivation

    1. Do just one thing at a time.

    Focus on just one part of your goal. Often, we get so overwhelmed with the larger goal that we have difficulty seeing the small steps right in front of us. Think about the spokes on the wheel of a bike tire.  All are needed to make the wheel strong and stable; each small action is a like the spokes on the bike wheel, all are necessary to support the larger goal. Focus on one spoke at a time.

    Celebrate when one part of your goal is accomplished and use this success to fuel your motivation for the next one.

    2. Get moving.

    To get the energy flowing there is no end to the helpfulness a walk in the sunshine brings. The type of walk I am talking about is one where you are able to just be, look at the clouds, watch the birds, feel the sunshine on your face, allow yourself to be in the present moment. The walk can be as short one; 5 minutes is good.

    No need to get your workout gear on for a power-walk this is a ‘get re-centered walk’ to reconnect with your sense of self and what you are working on and clear blocked motivation.

    Think about each step moving you forward, step by step toward your goal.

    3. Open yourself to growth

    When people feel doubtful, fearful, anxious, they often constrict the body, thoughts and beliefs in what is possible. Collapsing into your body and getting smaller can result in shallow breathing.

    Take 3 deep breaths, comfortably, not too fast and not too slowly, can loosen tension and bring a sense of expansion back. You can feel your body fill with oxygen, feel your breath bringing new life into your being. 

    With each breath think about expansion and give yourself space to do what you need to do for your life.

    4. Visualize your life as you need it to be.

    It is common to think of goals as wishes and they are. More importantly though, goals are also needs. When you think about your goal from the mindset of a need rather than a wish, it changes. Now it is something closer, more intimate. Rather than a wish that can be dismissed, it calls your attention to take action so you can clear blocked motivation.

    To live a fulfilling life, you need meaning and purpose in your life.

    5. Just let it go and be.

    Give yourself time, no more than 5 minutes, to write down all of your negative, worrisome, difficult, boring, doubtful, and fearful thoughts. Then put them in a bag and seal it up! Let them be. They are just words; some will be yours and some will be others. Remember, they are just words. Your truth is much bigger much more life giving than any doubts.

    Now give yourself 5 minutes or more and write down all of your supportive, productive, growth-enhancing thoughts and words. Keep these with you and remind yourself of them every day. Filling your mind with these words helps to keep you adaptable and focused on growth.

    Conclusion

    Give yourself the time and energy to get un-blocked and back to growth with the tools above.

    The greatest gift to yourself is your time and attention.

    Becoming more conscious day by day will fuel your motivation to achieve your goals. 

    You can have the success you desire and the life you need.  

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    5 Minutes to Calm & Clarity Guide

    It's your magic wand for stress!

  • The Truth About Clarity and Motivation

    truth about clarity and motivation blog post

    I wish clarity and motivation were good friends, but they’re usually more like casual acquaintances.  When we lived in Texas, we always looked forward to seeing another couple at our mutual friend’s house. It was only a few times a year for the annual holiday party and summer cookout and sometimes Thanksgiving. We always said that we would get together, but we never followed through and made plans. It was that extra hurdle of commitment to a plan that just didn’t happen and it became a friendly joke.

    Many women believe that they’ll be motivated to take action when they understand why they do what they do.

    It makes sense and works in many situations, like in school or work or even baking. You watch a video to learn how to fold in the dry ingredients and why it’s important for the recipe instead of wondering what to do or why it’s important. Now that you have the information you can mix the cake more confidently and it’s much easier to start and get the cake in the oven.

    Unfortunately, with human behavior clarity rarely leads to motivation for meaningful change. The irony is that when you mix in emotion, associations to past events, habits and the busyness of life, what could be clear becomes opaque very quickly.

    Clarity

    Clarity requires deeper awareness of your experiences, interpretations of them and your ability to take thoughtful action.  And blending understanding and knowledge are the main ingredients of clarity.

    Understanding

    Understanding ourselves takes a bit of time. Reflection, education and experience are the necessary ingredients for understanding. I think of understanding as located in the gut, it’s more on the emotional, felt level of experience.

    Knowledge

    Knowledge comes from our experiences, training or information gained from others or our own experimentation. Knowledge is what we think of as being in our heads. It the logical or even observable part of our experiences.

    Action doesn’t come from understanding or knowledge. There is a way of understanding the world around you and making sense of it in relation to your own experience. The role both play in life is extremely important. Understanding and knowledge are the foundation of how you perceive yourself and make sense of your life.

    They help you to contrast where you are and where you want to be, which is generates clarity.  But that’s not what gets you moving.

    Motivation

    Motivation is energy to take action on what you desire. You’re either moving toward something or avoiding an outcome you don’t want to experience.

    Emotion, personal history and habits are all parts of what motivates people. And the good news is that you can change your habits and establish new ways of being with yourself.

    For a lot of people, the desire to stop negative thoughts and feelings is what gets them moving. It’s that old saying, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.”

    The best way to start generating motivation in your life is to do something that feels better than the negativity you experience when you don’t take action. When you do this at least three times a week you’re more likely to make it a habit. Motivation is easier when you do things that feel better often enough for it to become a habit that supports your well-being.

    Building Momentum

    Momentum starts to build and becomes associated with a positive experience of feeling better the more you take action. It feels better to move toward something you do want instead of avoiding an experience you don’t want.

    Waiting for clarity before you tak action can lead to stagnation and feeling stuck.

    Everybody gets stuck at some point in life. Things happen, circumstances change and work and life are busy. Often, it’s a matter of just keeping up with the everyday tasks of living. Getting the groceries, getting to work, getting the kids to do their homework, etc. During times like this clarity helps.

    Thoughtful Action

    Take time to thoughtfully, mindfully what your experience tells you and what you need. This helps you decide on your direction. It’s the most important part of the recipe. The cake needs flour of some kind to be cake like or it’s something else, maybe delicious, but not a cake.

    Knowing what you want and moving in the direction you need to be is thoughtful action. If you don’t,  motivation will be a difficult fight. It will often take the form of being busy, but directionless and eventually it will be a burden. When this happens people often say, “my motivation is zapped!” It’s misplaced energy and needs to be replenished with clear intentional direction.

    The irony is that movement – acting – is what helps you to become clear.

    It’s a risk.

    There’s a likelihood that you’ll make mistakes.

    You’ll probably fail – at first – until you learn more about what you need to do.

    It’s all okay and part of the process of understanding what you need, for.

    Many of my clients think that being motivated requires inspiration as the catalyst. That they will experience a positive energy boost that propels them to take action. I wish that was the case a lot more often, but it’s not.

    What I’ve found is that moving toward what you want, truly want, with understanding and knowledge you’ll make decisions that lead you to what you need and want in your life.

    Conclusion

    It’s difficult to get started and take the risk of stepping into the life you desire, but don’t know yet.

    As you gather more experience of moving toward and receiving what you desire, your experience of motivation changes from negative associations to positive.

    Taking action is the fuel for clarity and motivation. It helps you to understand what is really important and needed in your life.

    Get your FREE Copy

    5 Minutes to Calm & Clarity Guide

    It's your magic wand for stress!