Self-care

  • 3 Foolproof Ways to Breakout of Decision Fatigue

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    Recently I had lunch with a friend at a new sandwich place and it was just the type of place I love and the sort of place where decision fatigue sets in.

    They offered familiar sandwiches and salads with just a bit of a twist that made them enjoyable. It was busy and there was a wide variety of choices. We had to let several regulars order before us because neither could quickly decide.

    We finally got our lunch after about a 30-minute wait. There were so many phone orders ahead of us in addition to the full tables. The conversation turned to both the delicious sandwiches and our decision fatigue.

    We were both amid last-minute getaway plans, not so much an adventurous vacation given we would be doing the same thing, but in a different location – just the realities of pandemic life!

    And that led to us talking about all the other daily decisions we make. From what to wear, when to go to the grocery store or place a delivery order, to what’s the topic for the next blog, to giving permission or not for the kid’s sleep-over, to considering charitable giving before the end of the year and on and on. There were a bunch more we identified in about 3 minutes.

    We both were at the point of emotional exhaustion listing them, let alone living it.

    Decision Fatigue

    Decision Fatigue happens when we make too many decisions in one day – or even in one hour – and we feel mentally drained by the process. Sometimes, it can make prioritizing tasks, thinking through problems, remembering details and controlling impulses more difficult since the volume of choices strains the brain.

    More often than men, women find themselves in the position of making decisions for their own needs and those for their families, businesses, and other community commitments such as getting together with friends and family, volunteering, church, major household purchases, etc.

    It’s not that women find it harder to make decisions, but women make more decisions. In addition, our choices usually immediately impact our lives and those around us. Those two factors, volume and speed, are significant contributors to decision fatigue.

    Here are three foolproof ways to ease the burden of decision-making to break out of decision fatigue.

    1. Prioritize Tasks

    One of the best ways to relieve decision fatigue is by listing the tasks that need to be completed – both big and small – and then deciding which of them – big or small – must be done first.

    Here’s an example:

    I often make a “master list” of things to do. This could be a DIY home project or even a fun activity like holiday decorating.

    I remind myself that the list will be extensive, but it’s okay since I’ll break it down.

    The next step is to break the “master list” into bite-size chunks that I complete in less time.

    The details aren’t in my head when I get things down on paper or in a document. I’ve done the “brain dump” task and can look at it more objectively from an action-taking standpoint. This includes the logical steps to completion and what I can realistically accomplish in the time I have.

    The last part about realistically accomplishing is significant since it’s both a practical and self-compassion practice. Biting off more than you can chew often leads to feeling overwhelmed, leading to decision fatigue, so take smaller bits, and you’ll be more comfortable and make progress, too.

    2. Consider What’s Needed

    Another great way to relieve decision fatigue is to think about what’s needed.

    When decisions are many, there’s a tendency to speed up the process and that’s the fast track to decision fatigue. The faster you make decisions the faster your tension will be relieved, at least that’s the hope. However, this perspective only considers short-term stress. I’m guessing what you want is longer-term relief, too.

    Here are three questions that can help you take a moment to make a better decision:

    1. Is this an immediate need?
    2. Is it “nice to do” or “needs to be done” right now?
    3. Do I need or want help with this decision?

    These three simple questions can help you increase your awareness of your and the situation’s needs and ultimately lead to more thoughtful decision-making.

    3. Reacting vs. Responding

    So much of the time, we react without thinking, and this is a significant contributor to decision fatigue. Step 1 – prioritizing and Step 2 – focusing on needs both help to slow down that process so you can mindfully choose how you want to respond to what’s being asked of you. This shifts the dynamic.

    You get out of the rapid-fire decision-making and into a comfortable way of being. When you know what you need (your family, too), there aren’t as many decisions as possible to make.

    You don’t need to consider choices because you already know the answer before the question is asked. This is a significant shift from reacting to thoughtfully responding and that’s what being in alignment is all about.

    Conclusion

    When you move out of what Jon Kabat-Zinn calls human doing and into a human being, it’s a place where day-to-day decisions no longer seem stressful. You have a reservoir of calm and well-being you can draw on when your stress level rises and you start to feel the emotional exhaustion of decision fatigue. Your confidence increases as you know what’s in your best interests and respond positively.

  • How To Create A Reservoir Of Inner Calm

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    This article gives you five strategies to create a reservoir of inner calm, which you can draw from when stressful situations arise.

    Since we can’t control when stress spikes, we can plan what to do when it does, so when your patience is in short supply, you know just what to do.

    How many situations that test your level of patience in a day? If you are like most people, you have likely lost count, but this article will teach you how to ride out the calm in the eye of the storm.

    The secret to staying calm when you are in a state of stress is to hold your immediate reaction, even if it’s for a brief moment to regroup. The secret here is to rehearse. Your brain will do what it can to protect you by fleeing, fighting, or freezing as if the threat is mortal. But that’s not what we’re talking about right now.

    Everyday stress like traffic, work deadlines, your child can’t find the charger to his Chromebook and you needed to leave for school – ten minutes ago – we all have countless examples! Times of everyday stress are when you can safely hold your immediate reaction so you can thoughtfully choose your response.

    Reservoir of inner calm

    All you need to do is build a calm reservoir and use it as needed. It doesn’t need to be filled before you start. It would never happen if that were the case because the everyday stressors do not stop for anyone.

    There isn’t a finite supply of inner calm. You’ll keep adding to your reserves as you grow in your ability to create space between you and the effects of stress.

    Here are five ways you can increase your reservoir of inner calm.

    1. Increase your emotional mastery

    Emotional mastery is the ability to identify what you’re feeling, what happens when you feel it and then take action so the emotion moves through you instead of getting stuck.

    The practice of emotional mastery is what builds resilience. It’s your guide for what you need to feel better. It takes the work of thinking about it and strategizing your plan. You already know what helps you and can do it immediately. The byproduct is inner calm.

    2. Begin a daily mindful practice

    Being present with the world around you is grounding. It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day activities of life and lose yourself. For many of my clients, this prevents them from moving forward and reaching their goals.

    When feeling alone and out of control, you must take time out of your day to meditate, be quiet and disconnect from “doing.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), has often said that we are more like human beings than human beings.

    A daily mindfulness practice can be as individual as you are. It might be sitting quietly for five minutes, an hour, or something in between. Or it might be walking and practicing your awareness of the birds, the sunlight on the tree leaves, or the breeze on your cheek. It could also be doing something where you lose yourself, like in creative practice – drawing, painting, quilting, knitting, etc. The point is to disconnect from information coming into your being and connect with your internal sense of yourself.

    3. Challenge negative thinking

    Everyone has negative thoughts that creep into their head throughout the day, but how you deal with them matters. When you feel yourself moving down the road of negativity, it is time to step back and identify the emotion that sparked those thoughts.

    By challenging negative thinking, you will begin to use the thoughts to help you shift your perspective. You can regain your inner calm and peace even if you’ve felt this way for a long time.

    4. Limit negative influences

    “You are a product of your environment” is a common saying for a reason! Surrounding yourself with people and environments that encourage growth and positive thinking is essential.

    When you cut out the negative influences from your life, you will feel a sense of freedom and weight lifted. Eliminating those who drag you down can open new avenues for personal growth.

    One crucial aspect is ensuring that your environment is as calming as possible. A home is a place of respite, but not always. Clearing your space (home, car, purse, office, garage, etc.) of clutter is very important. A fancy car is nice, but a clean car you feel good in is excellent. It’s the same idea with your house; it’s lovely if you have the resources to live in a picture-perfect space, but most of us don’t. Living in a house free from clutter and disorganization helps keep your inner calm reservoir full!

    5. Remove yourself from the situation

    Getting caught up in stressful situations that seem impossible to escape can be easy. Not getting caught up means establishing a boundary between yourself and the situation.

    It can be frustrating when you are removed from a situation you are trying to change. But sometimes, taking a break or realizing that you’ve done all you can and may need to make a different choice is more beneficial.

    Conclusion

    This article aims to provide five helpful strategies to fill your reservoir of inner calm. You can experience less stress and more time and energy for your desired things! Isn’t that a big part of clearing stress to live a mindful and fulfilling life?

  • 3 Ways Self-knowledge Makes You Emotionally Strong

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    We are often blind to what our emotions are trying to tell us, and they are the basis for self-knowledge. It can be hard to pay attention when your head is piled high with tasks, appointments, and endless everyday worries that seem impossible to solve.

    Yet, when we pay attention and develop a deeper awareness, we have everything we need to make choices that align our lives with our needs and desires.

    It is impossible to say how much of this is a natural or an acquired ability, but it has been part of humankind’s evolutionary process since the beginning.

    We evolved to be aware of our environment and learn from our experiences to create a future full of purpose. This means that, without self-knowledge, life could be filled with regret, leading to suffering. The longer you put off pursuing self-knowledge, the more times you’ll have to reinvent the wheel, which only makes things worse.

    The process is simple. At the same time, it requires you to be patient with yourself. When you’re unsure, it takes time to figure out what you’re feeling rather than making a snap judgment that isn’t accurate. This is how self-knowledge makes you emotionally strong.

    Here is your 3 part recipe to increase your self-knowledge and emotional strength.

    Here is your 3-part recipe to increase your self-knowledge and emotional strength.

    1. Identify your emotions.

    When you are uncertain of yourself, introspection is the way to go.

    Identify the emotions you are experiencing at the moment. What is your gut feeling? Your breath? Your heart?

    Characteristics of an emotion include clarity, intensity, and pleasure or pain. If you don’t know what an emotion feels like, here are some examples for you to explore more closely:

    Anxiety – The immediate irritation present when faced with a particular situation.

    Disillusioned – The feeling that everything is not as good as it seems.

    Excited – A state of intense arousal, often with an accompanying sense of joy.

    Sad – A feeling of discomfort lacking clarity. It’s more like a vague melancholy.

    Anger – Clear sensations in your body signal the need to take action and be defensive against certain situations.

    Joy – The highest and most enjoyable emotion experienced by humans. It is a state of permanent happiness and contentment felt after great success or accomplishment.

    It’s essential to be as specific as possible with your emotions.

    This is one of the times in life where nuance matters a lot. Clarity about your internal state makes a difference. It’s too easy to get swept up in the immediate emotion and put it in a broad category when it might be much more subtle.

    Take, for example, anger and sadness. Many people become angry when they’re sad. They don’t want to experience loss and instead become angry as a way of pushing the feeling away.

    I had this experience when I moved across the country.

    I didn’t want to move; I loved where I lived and often thought, “Man, I love it here.” But, when it came time to begin the moving process, I started to pick out all the flaws and justify why it would be better to live elsewhere. I pushed away the fond feelings for a place I loved to make it easier to focus on the future.

    This process prevented me from acknowledging my experience of loss and the sadness I felt. Instead of letting go, feeling sad and being in the present, I was misaligned with myself. Ultimately, it made the transition more complex and it took longer than expected to settle into the new location.

    2. Put your experiences into context.

    Make a short list of 3 moments of your life that made you feel strong.

    When doing this exercise, pay attention to the emotions present during each of the three experiences.

    What emotions were present for these three events? What characteristics did they have?

    Once you have this information, it’s time to contextualize it. Explain each of these three moments as if you were explaining your life story to someone new. This exercise requires a non-judgmental outlook – it’s just the observable information, not an evaluation of it.

    It’s helpful to make a note for yourself on your phone, in a journal, or on a sticky note that you put somewhere so you can see it often. Reminders like this help you keep the emotion and experience in your mind so it becomes part of what you do during the day.

    This is another way that self-knowledge makes you strong.

    3. Determine what your plans need to be.

    What would you do differently if you knew what your emotions were telling you?

    Imagine yourself in the future.

    If you knew what was going on inside of you at the time, would this future change?

    Which ones?

    Why?

    What must you do to bring this future about, or how can it be easier or faster?

    A word of warning.

    Many people think they can skip over numbers 1 and 2 above and go right for number 3 to create a more aligned future. But it just doesn’t work that way. It would be much less painful and messy if it did, but it doesn’t.

    Alignment takes time and reflection to know yourself and your needs. Don’t shortchange yourself by moving past this quickly. Most of us were never taught anything about emotions or feelings other than being told what is “appropriate” to feel for someone else’s convenience. There can be a lot of unpacking judgments in this phase.

    Shaping your life into one where you draw on your sense of inner calm and self-knowledge makes you emotionally intense so that you can live your life in a fulfilling way.

    It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day struggle of life and forget that we are all just one step away from creating our ideal futures.

    Conclusion

    No one is born with emotional mastery.

    It’s a learned skill that you can master at any point in your life. The process is simple, but knowing more about yourself with each step takes time.

    1. Identify your emotions.
    2. Put your experiences into context.
    3. Plan for the future based on the two previous steps.

    Self-knowledge makes you strong and able to handle anything with clarity, alignment and grace.

  • 10 Ways to be strong, feel calm and have clarity

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    Being strong, calm and clear are three ingredients anyone needs when they’re in the middle of challenging times.

    Hectic schedules, long work hours, health problems and fast-paced changes aren’t easy to handle. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are the keys to being strong, calm and clear:

    1. Breathe!

    Taking a few minutes out of every day to breathe can change your perspective on everything around you. It puts distance between the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that may be distracting you from focusing on what’s truly important. 

    It delivers more oxygen to your brain, lowers stress, and increases calming neurotransmitters for clarity.

    2. Change your environment.

    This is a big one. A change is needed when you’re around people you don’t want to be with. 

    Too much clutter or noise can increase anxiety if your physical environment is stressful. Even at a low level, they distract you from what you need to do. 

    Think about what you need to create a positive environment for yourself. Ask yourself if this is helping me or stopping me from doing what I need to do for my well-being.

    3. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

    Realize that others may not understand your life as well as you do. 

    Maybe you need time and space to understand your life, too.

    The first part of being calm is to understand what’s going on within yourself. Sometimes we take our first impressions as the only impression. 

    Take, for instance, a feeling. You might initially be irritated when someone doesn’t hold the door open.  You might quickly think it’s rude and the person is a jerk. This might be true, but often we don’t have the opportunity to find out. 

    When your feelings linger and you wonder why you can’t shake an insignificant situation, it’s probably something else, like feeling invisible, disrespected, unimportant, or any other feelings that need care. 

    Understanding yourself is an act of self-compassion. This leads to more calm and clarity and knowing what you need.

    4. Being strong comes from self-knowledge

    Every one of us has a reason to be here and a purpose. Seek that purpose. 

    You may not see the storyline that made you who you are, but trust it and hang on to what you know. Your life is unfolding in ways no one can predict. 

    As you go through life, it may not be what you expected if you followed the plan. Go to school, create a promising career, find the right partner, have the kids or not and then you’ll have the life you dreamed of. But when it doesn’t turn out that way, many people doubt they’re on the “right” path. I don’t think there’s a right path, just your one. 

    Each path has many options, and you can change your direction to a path that feels more aligned with what you need. Sometimes, it takes some exploring to find out which path it is. Take each day as it comes, make wise decisions and in the end, you’ll get to where you need to be.

    5. Build a reservoir of calm

    Strength comes from building your reserves of calm and clarity. 

    When you know where you end and the other begins it’s easier not to let the emotions of others upset you. Emotional boundaries aren’t about being unfeeling or lacking empathy; they’re about respecting yourself and others so that you each have your own experiences. 

    Your self-knowledge and well-being habits are skills you can learn to keep stress low and reservoir of calm.

    6. If something is bothering you, deal with it then and there.

    Don’t put it off for tomorrow. If you let the sun set on the problems that you have today, they will only create more mind-clutter. 

    Ask yourself three things: 

    1. How am I feeling? 
    2. What do I need?
    3. Which action do I need to take? 

    Sometimes, your answer might be, “I don’t know,” and that’s completely okay. You might need to give it a few minutes and allow some space to get clear. 

    The idea is not to let it linger and avoid dealing with something that needs your attention.

    7. Clear communication with yourself and others takes time

    Use it. Don’t talk yourself out of your ideas or accept less than what you need. Don’t settle for less than what you are for convenience. 

    Being heard and understood will help you to keep growing in your relationships – with yourself and others.

    8. Choose your words wisely and be sincere even when wrong.

    Don’t try to manipulate yourself or others with your words by saying something different from what is in your heart. 

    When you’re clear, it’s easier to speak how you would like to be spoken to, with compassion, sincerity, and integrity. 

    Remember, personal integrity is a gift you can give yourself every day.

    9. Know what’s most important to you and cherish and protect it.

    No one knows exactly what will happen; don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands. 

    Be responsible for your feelings and trust that others can also choose to be responsible for their feelings. 

    Your job is to take care of your well-being.

    10. The simple things matter.

    A smile, a compliment, or a walk through the woods can give you the energy you need to find inner clarity and inspiration. The simple things sprinkle the day with positive feelings and bathe your brain in feel-good neurochemicals. 

    It’s essential to take a step back and savor those moments. They are the antidote to negativity and false positives.

    Conclusion

    Being strong, feeling calm and having clarity are all possible. 

    When life feels overwhelming and your mind is cluttered with everything you need to do, people you need to take care of, and situations that need your attention, it can seem impossible. 

    There isn’t a magic wand, but one thing makes a difference – it’s your relationship with yourself. 

    When self-compassion becomes a priority in your life, it leads to more calm and clarity and strengthens you!

  • Do you need more than peace to be fulfilled?

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    I found the answer was to take care of my needs that I had buried while taking care of everything and everyone. It was the simple yet challenging step that led to longer-lasting happiness and contentment, which means – peace.

    What do you really want?

    I’ve found that I want a few essential things. I care about the people around me and my own needs and for all of us to be happy and fulfilled.

    I also care about people who aren’t close to me and who I don’t often think of.

    If things are going well, I’m good at thinking about everyone in my life and making sure I’m contributing in some way to their happiness.

    Sometimes, though, even when things are going well, that’s not enough for me. I want things to be even better. What I don’t want to be stressed out all the time.

    I think about what you really need to be happy.

    We often look for happiness in things we think we can do something about. But when we look for it in the things that don’t seem to change, I wonder whether there is more than peace.

    For the high-achieving career women I work with, struggling to find the space and time for themselves while caring for their family, maintaining connections with friends, and pursuing their interests is challenging.

    Many single women are often convinced that they’ll be happy if they find the “right” relationship. It’s hard to give up the fairytale that was ingrained in our psyche so long ago. It’s so pervasive in children’s stories that even as an adult who knows her relationship with herself is what leads to inner peace, the wish that the fairy godmother will show up with her magic wand is a solid image to change.

    Women who feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness and feel guilty for not being able to contribute to it, even after spending time meeting their own needs, can wear down even the most resilient of women.

    The most important thing is that you are happy.

    You are responsible for it, but don’t let that throw you off track. I’ll repeat it.

    The most important thing is that you are happy.  Don’t put the responsibility for your happiness on anyone else, even your spouse or partner. Although they can significantly contribute to your happiness, the outcome of your life is ultimately up to you.

    But some things could make you happy. For instance, if your spouse or partner can do something to bring you happiness, let them. If they can’t, then the best thing to do is for you to take steps to bring about happiness on your own. The thing I want you to remember is there is no magic wand.

    There’s nothing that will automatically make you happy

    It’s not the day that:

    • The kids go to college.
    • You get the big promotion you’ve worked the last ten years to achieve.
    • Drive off from the car dealership in your dream car.

    Your understanding of what is important to you will change. It’s fun to enjoy the freedom of choice success brings, like sending the kids to college or the income from the promotion and driving a nice car feels good, but don’t let that stop you from pursuing what brings you a deep sense of fulfillment.

    If you think when things are going well, but that’s not enough for me, you’re probably moving toward fulfillment.

    “I want things to be even better,” it a kind of declaration that you need to take steps towards the peace that brings fulfillment.

    To me, peace is an accomplishment, but it’s not the biggest achievement in life.

  • How to Change Your Relationship With Stress!

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    There are two ways most people think about reducing your stress:

    1. Quick “fix” tools or strategies to push stress away.
    2. Shift the way you relate to stress.

    When you do both, you have self-knowledge, tools, and skills. Which leads you to be in control of your emotions and responses to whatever happens in your life.

    Relying on “quick fix” strategies to deal with stress can leave you feeling stressed and stuck.

    Long-term strategies can be so overwhelming you can get swept up in not knowing how to lower it right now.

    There are a lot of strategies for coping with stress, but what works when you need it most is the goal.

    Sustainable Stress Solutions

    A sustainable system for quick reductions, like when someone cuts you off on the freeway. And long-term, big-picture ways to keep your baseline level lower, like when you have small children, your business is expanding, or anything else that happens over a long time.

    Changing your relationship so that you’re in control even when it seems there’s no way you can be. The trite saying, the only thing we can count on is death and taxes. But I think we should also add stress to the list too. It will always be a part of life.

    Things will pop up unexpectedly, like:

    • The dog eats another sock and needs to go to the vet.
    • Your computer crashes when you’re in the middle of a transaction.
    • Your child must be picked up from school early because she has a sore throat.
    • You need to help your aging parents transition out of their home.
    • No matter how much you try, the 20 pounds you gained in lockdown isn’t going anywhere!

    So how do you change your relationship with stress and why is it a relationship anyway?

    We are always in a relationship with someone or something.

    Relationships are about interactions with others and the environment. It’s true for ourselves, too – we have relationships with thoughts, feelings, and actions that we take.

    We’re in the process of both experiencing and creating meaning at the same time.

    The more complex the relationship, the deeper and more critical the relationship’s meaning in our lives.

    Stress is part of our complex relationship with ourselves.

    One effective way of dealing with stress is to understand that you are always in a relationship with stress.

    Instead of trying to remove stress from your life, view it as an essential part of your life. Stress is something to be aware of and always in relationship with whatever else you are experiencing.

    As we all know, relationships have hundreds of different aspects operating simultaneously.

    Internalized Meaning

    We have internalized meanings based on all the experiences we have lived:

    • what our parents said to us
    • meaning we attached to specific emotions
    • what our parents’ beliefs are vs. our own
    • how teachers treated us
    • what value was placed on communicating our thoughts and feelings

    These are usually the unexamined assumptions we make about life. You might notice them when you have a judgment about someone’s decisions. 

    Take politics, for example; if you have strong opinions on one side, you might be utterly perplexed at how the opposite side believes what they believe.

    Most likely, the internalized meanings the other has fundamentally oppose your own internalized meanings that shape how you think the country needs to be governed.

    Externalized Meaning

    We have externalized meanings about a lot of things, like:

    • assessments from our teachers, bosses, parents, etc.
    • what we interpret others are thinking – without confirmation
    • values you receive from society, religion, work, school, etc.
    • implied meaning from laws and rules that give you a code of conduct

    Externalized meaning tells you the larger culture’s viewpoint on how to behave or what you should do to get along with others. We often assume that the meaning is correct and that it is THE way to live your life.

    Sometimes they are; it’s not good to kill people and there will be both societal and personal consequences if you do. Most people will feel regretful if they kill someone. Regret may be a personal consequence, but there are exceptions to societal consequences like self-defense, war and accidents – all based on the meaning the external forces give to the situation.

    What changes our relationship with stress?

    The internalized and externalized meanings shape your relationship with specific emotions and guide you on which action to take based on the meaning. If you struggle with emotional mastery, it’s challenging to be in alignment with what you need and want in your life, which increases your baseline level of stress. The relationship with stress changes all the time. You’re more likely to react out of self-protection than to mindfully choose what is congruent with what you need and want.

    We all need quick fixes some of the time. When you’re feeling an immediate escalation of distress, anger, or fear, calming your brain as quickly as possible might be what’s best. Tools, techniques, and strategies that you can rely on are what’s needed at the moment.

    The problem is that, at best, we’re taught quick fixes as if they are the only option. Sometimes, we’re not taught anything other than “just learn how to deal with it.” It was not very helpful since there were no instructions about what to learn!

    Stress will always be with us in some form since we have a relationship with stress.

    It’s a tension in life that can help to propel you forward to where you want to be.

    Wrapping Up

    Burnout and feeling overwhelmed aren’t possible when stress is kept at an overall lower level.

    You can establish well-being habits that help you quickly decrease stress spikes and live with a lower baseline stress level.

    If you can change how you think about stress, love, life and its meaning, you can make it work for you instead of against you. It’s different than trying to avoid, eliminate, or ignore stress; it’s working with what happens in your life and making meaning that moves you forward.

  • How Powerful Calm Makes Your Life Better

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    Wouldn’t it be great if you could reduce your stress in a few minutes? The good news is that you can.

    It takes three key concepts and a straightforward framework to get started. Powerful Calm is based on the latest research on stress relief. It provides an easy way to take control of your health and lower your levels of everyday stress. This article introduces you to the concepts and Powerful Calm framework so you can easily experience stress relief.

    The Powerful Calm Formula has three components: emotional mastery, clear communication and well-being habits.

    The Powerful Calm formula connects you to what matters most – a satisfying and fulfilling life. This happens in all areas of your life – your family, your career and most of all within yourself!

    The Power Calm framework is simple, sustainable and most of all it’s not a band-aid!

    It gives you a guide to help you understand how to reduce your stress level and achieve what you want for your life. The Powerful Calm formula has three parts: emotional mastery, clear communication and well-being habits. Each part of the Powerful Calm formula has action steps that will provide short-term and long-term benefits as they become part of your routine.

    Emotional Mastery

    Emotional mastery is:

    • building your mind/body emotional vocabulary
    • increasing curiosity about your emotional needs
    • using your knowledge to take care of yourself.

    What emotional mastery gives you is the knowledge about what you need for your well-being. The result is the ability to choose how to respond to any situation rather than allowing those situations to control you.

    When you become a master of your emotions, you gain an understanding of the effect that emotional intensity has on your experiences.

    This is important because it’s easier to respond in a way that matches your emotional needs in the moment. Matching your needs is vital to move through challenging emotions more easily and enjoy pleasant emotions more. The power to control your reactions is within reach, whether you feel anxious, angry, or calm and happy.

    The choice about how you respond rather than being controlled by your emotions is where you find your power – it’s the ultimate self-control!

    Emotional mastery goes beyond assuming accountability for the situation or outcome. It helps you to understand what led up to the emotional response and where you can go from there.

    Emotional mastery is the foundation of clarity.

    It’s challenging to move forward when you’re cluttered with emotions or stuck on one. However, when you master your emotions, push them away with immediate mindless reactions. You can take your time and mindfully choose how you need to respond.

    Clear Communication

    Every relationship needs effective communication for it to thrive. Lack of communication can undo what you’ve learned about emotional mastery and well-being habits in the first place!

    The most important person to be straightforward with is yourself!

    There is no fluff or excuses, just self-compassion and accountability.

    Solid self-talk can help reduce stress in all situations, especially when the stakes are high or emotions run hot.

    Effective communication with yourself is being honest and conversing without getting too worked up about things that don’t matter so that you can respond to a situation congruently.

    Sometimes, it’s taking the perspective of an observer and having the conversation with yourself like you would your most cherished friend.

    • Strong and loving
    • Kind and firm
    • Compassionate and honest

    You can only be transparent with others and meet your needs when clear with yourself. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. You’re always in your head, so why not make it the most pleasant relationship?

    Clear communication is a skill you can develop at any time in your life

    Well-being Habits

    Most of the time, we think we’re doing okay. Your head is above water, no matter how hard you kick to stay that way. You’re okay and everything is under control, but something happens, maybe a work deadline or an argument with your significant other.

    For most of my clients, stress has become a big part of their lives without them realizing it. What leads them to seek help is that the automatic stress reactions begin to harm their lives.

    • Being short with others
    • Long-term irritability
    • stress eating/drinking/over-exercise/no exercise/not enjoying life

    Emotional mastery and clear communication allow you to respond to stress instead of immediately reacting. When you master your emotions mindlessly, impulsively over or under-reacting doesn’t happen anymore.

    Well-being habits aren’t about becoming someone else or changing who you are. They’re about being open to change and making small changes that have a significant impact over time.

    Well-being habits are:

    • meditation/quiet time/reading/listening to music
    • mind/body practice like walking, yoga, stretching
    • connected conversations

    These are just a few examples. Well-being habits are more than flossing daily; they enhance your connection with yourself and the people in your life.

    Like any good habit, they become part of your life because you benefit greatly. And a bonus is that those around you benefit, too. You’ll become a leader in living a mindful, anti-stress lifestyle.

    When you recognize the power of well-being habits, it’s easier to become proactive in doing daily things to help bring more calm into your life.

    Wrapping up

    Power Calm is a simple framework to support your stress reduction and increase well-being with emotional mastery, clear communication, and well-being habits.

    With the Powerful Calm Formula, small changes in your thinking, behavior, and connection with yourself can make a huge difference in your stress level.

    This is what makes you powerful in your ability to keep calm.

    Each step along the way gives you powerful results:

    • Self-knowledge that leads to clear action
    • Clarity that leads to needs being met
    • Satisfaction that leads to fulfillment

    The power comes from knowing who you are and what you need your life to be.